Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift

"Why did I feel the need to drive in? Because I'm street legal. I finished my Driver's Ed, and I can finally get my driver's license."
— Eddie Huang

"Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift" is the eleventh episode of the fifth season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on January 18, 2019.

Synopsis[]

Eddie finally gets his driver's license; but instead of freedom, he finds an endless list of errands to run for his mom.

Plot[]

To be added

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Randall Park as Louis Huang
Constance Wu as Jessica Huang
Hudson Yang as Eddie Huang
Forrest Wheeler as Emery Huang
Ian Chen as Evan Huang
Lucille Soong as Jenny Huang (credited as Grandma Huang)
Chelsey Crisp as Honey Ellis
Ray Wise as Marvin Ellis

Recurring Cast[]

Trevor Larcom as Trent Masterson
Prophet Bolden as Walter Stone
Evan Hannemann as Dave Selby (credited as Barefoot Dave)
Dash Williams as Brian Pew
Zabeth Russell as Jamie

Guest Cast[]

Barry Ratcliffe as Auctioneer
George Paez as Juggalo
Renie Rivas as Juggalette
Alton Clemente as Random Clown
Noah Stages as Paisley Convention Attendee #1 (uncredited)

Quotes[]

Jessica: Who called this family meeting? I can't just sit and watch Jenny sip a Bloody Mary all morning. I don't have time for this. I have a PTA auction I need to organize with a bunch of ladies who couldn't find a tail on a four-assed cat. That's on top of the million things on my usual to-do list.
Louis: And I'm out of town for a couple days, so you have to bring Emery to volleyball. Don't forget his kneepads and a bottle of lemon water. He likes lemon water.
Eddie: Hit it, G-ma! Why did I feel the need to drive in? Because I'm street legal. I finished my Driver's Ed, and I can finally get my driver's license.
Jessica: All right.
Louis: Oh, wow! I knew he was gonna drive in. I saw him setting up.
Evan: Don't make it about you, Dad.
Emery: It's his day.

Trent: Your driver's license photo is forever. You want to convey confidence. Step inside the mind of a bouncer.

Jessica: The PTA is fundraising for a new computer lab, and I need a moneymaker that's gonna push this auction over the top. How do you feel about a "win a date with the PTA president"?
Louis: Sure, whatever, anything for the kids.

Eddie: All right, who's taking me to the DMV? It's time to get laminated.
Louis: Sorry, I'm going to surprise Marvin with a trip to Chili Con.
Eddie: If you don't want to take me, that's fine. You don't have to lie.
Louis: I don't lie about chili. I eat it.
Eddie: Moms, you feeling like a DMV run?
Jessica: Nope. I already have to take Emery to volleyball, Evan to fencing, pick up some groceries, and run this PTA auction to build you a new computer lab.
Eddie: Come on, Mom, I can't do donuts around the Mervyn's parking lot on a computer!
Jessica: We can't just drop everything because you have something. We'll get to it eventually. The DMV isn't going anywhere.

Evan: How 'bout some air back here?
Emery: No vents for me. I'm cold.
Evan: 'Cause you're wearing that skimpy outfit. If you were playing a gentleman's sport, like fencing–
Emery: Gentleman's sport? Volleyball is played in the royal court!
Evan: Can we get a fact check?
Eddie: Fact – You guys are lame.
Emery: Ow! Evan hit me with his needle sword.
Evan: It's an épée!
Emery: Stop!
Jessica: If you don't knock it off, I swear I will turn this car around.
Eddie: You missed the turn for the DMV!
Jessica: I'll take you after I finish my errands.
Eddie: I'm your firstborn. I should be your first priority.
Jessica: Oh, you are. I have to buy groceries so you can eat, return your white-people-are-bad-at-jumping video before we get charged, and then plan a PTA auction to raise funds for your school.

Jessica: Wait. Where are the groceries?
Eddie: They're there.
Jessica: Nope.
Eddie: They are not. I forgot. I tried on Evan's mask, and I couldn't get it off. I-I must've gotten distracted. We'll just pick them up tomorrow.
Jessica: Tomorrow has its own to-do list, as does the rest of the week. What do you think those are?
Eddie: I never really look over there. I just go fridge and I'm out.
Jessica: Well, the fridge is empty, and those groceries were for dinner tonight.
Eddie: If I go to the store now, I'll miss hanging out with my friends.
Jessica: You want your brothers to starve?

Louis: Whoo! Chili Con '99!
Marvin: You did it. You got right in here without a badge, you little minx.
Honey: Oh, it wasn't hard. No one was even checking, which is a shame 'cause I was really looking forward to breaking out the old Honey flash-n-dash.
Marvin: What?
Honey: Oh. You pose for a picture with the ticket guy and then when he's blinded by the flash, you dash inside.
Louis: Right.
Marvin: Thank God.
Louis: Just what I thought it was.

Eddie: Dinner is served, losers.
Emery: Mmm, this is great.
Evan: Ramen and cut-up hot dogs? No, thank you. I'm not gonna taint my palate. Tomato season's coming.
Eddie: Hang on, I'm not even done yet.
Emery: No cool ranch for... Hmm, oh, well.
Eddie: Bon appétit, losers. That's French for "losers." I'm gonna go hang out with my friends.
Jessica: Wait, what about the mess you made?
Evan: This is a one-pan meal at most.
Eddie: I had a few misfires.
Jessica: Well, you have to clean it up.
Eddie: Me? Why are you always on me? Evan and Emery just got a free, delicious meal.
Evan: Ha.
Eddie: Make them clean it up. I'm supposed to go hang with my friends.
Jessica: Sorry, Eddie, it's a school night. You will see your friends tomorrow.

Eddie: Whoa, you've got puberty all over your face.
Emery: It's not zits! It's hives!
Jessica: Apparently, he's allergic to cool ranch chips.
Eddie: Well, how was I supposed to know that?
Jessica: Well, now I need to take Emery to the doctor, which means you have to take Evan to his fencing tournament, pick up the grill, and drop it off at the PTA auction.
Eddie: I can't. I promised my friends–
Jessica: This wouldn't have happened if you had picked up the groceries like you said you would.

Evan: My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die.

Evan: Mommy takes a different way.
Eddie: Well, I'm not Mommy.

Evan: Technically, this could be considered kidnapping.
Eddie: First, kids can't kidnap. Second, this is Florida.

Louis: Why have you been avoiding me?
Marvin: It's not you, Lou. It's me. I just found out I have a medical condition, and I was too embarrassed to tell you. I have the E.D.!
Louis: E.D.?
Marvin: E.D.!
Louis: That's why Honey joined our boys' trip. You guys are working through your erectile dysfunction and wanted to try and spice it up.
Marvin: Erectile dysfunction? No! If anything, I have the opposite problem. No, extreme diverticulitis. E. D.
Louis: Oh. Wait, what?
Marvin: My intestines can't process small beans and seeds.
Louis: But I just caught you eating chili.
Marvin: Yeah, Texas chili – beanless.
Louis: Ugh.
Marvin: Yeah, it's a sad substitute for real chili.
Louis: But why didn't you tell me?
Marvin: Well, you put so much thought into this trip, and with the second baby coming, who knows how much time we'll have to hang out? And Honey came along just so she could run cover for me.
Louis: Still, I'm your best friend. I would've understood.
Marvin: Yeah, well, the doc said my E.D. is caused by Szechuan peppercorns.
Louis: That's the fourth alarm in my chili!
Marvin: Yeah.
Louis: I caused your intestines to fail?!
Marvin: That's not the way to look at it, Lou. The way I see it, it's a... It's a badge of honor. I've beaten every chili in the world, except yours.

Evan: I'm not going anywhere with you. Look around. We're in hell.
Eddie: You're my responsibility, bro.
Evan: Doesn't seem like it. Seems like you only care about what you want.
Eddie: Oh, really? I've been driving you around the past two days. I even made you dinner! Never even heard a thank you.
Evan: Do you hear yourself? Mom drives you around every day. She does everything for you. She took you to get your driver's license and you didn't say squat.

Jessica: Where have you been?
Eddie: I went to the concert with my friends.
Jessica: What?!
Eddie: And then I came back here. I know I've been complaining about everything you've made me do the past two days, and then I realized you've been doing this for me, my whole life.
Jessica: That's what being a mom is.
Eddie: Yeah, I didn't realize that until I drove a mile in your shoes. So, thank you.
Jessica: I didn't mean to heap all that on you, but I want you to understand what responsibility really is.
Eddie: I'm sorry I made it so difficult.
Jessica: You're not any more difficult than Evan or Emery. I know that you think I'm harder on you than them, but that's just 'cause you're the first. Anytime you're figuring out something new, so are we.
Eddie: So I'm a trailblazer!
Jessica: Your father and I call you a guinea pig.
Eddie: Fair. In the future, I'll try to make it easier.
Jessica: Mm. I can't promise that I will.

Walter: Make sure they put plenty of catsup in the bag.
Trent: What are you, the Queen of England? It's ketchup.

Gallery[]

Episodes

Fresh Off the Boat – Season One

Episode 1 "Pilot"	Episode 2 "Home Sweet Home-School"	Episode 3 "The Shunning"	Episode 4 "Success Perm"


Episode 5 "Persistent Romeo"	Episode 6 "Fajita Man"	Episode 7 "Showdown at the Golden Saddle"	Episode 8 "Phillip Goldstein"


Episode 9 "License to Sell"	Episode 10 "Blind Spot"	Episode 11 "Very Superstitious"	Episode 12 "Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"


Episode 13 So Chineez

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two

Episode 1 "Family Business Trip"	Episode 2 "Boy II Man"	Episode 3 "Shaquille O'Neal Motors"	Episode 4 "The Fall Ball"


Episode 5 "Miracle on Dead Street"	Episode 6 "Good Morning Orlando"	Episode 7 "The Big 1-2"	Episode 8 "Huangsgiving"


Episode 9 "We Done Son"	Episode 10 "The Real Santa"	Episode 11 "Year of the Rat"	Episode 12 "Love and Loopholes"


Episode 13 "Phil's Phaves"	Episode 14 "Michael Chang Fever"	Episode 15 "Keep 'Em Separated"	Epsiode 16 "Tight Two"


Episode 17 "Doing It Right"	Episode 18 "Week in Review"	Episode 19 "Jessica Place"	Episode 20 "Hi, My Name Is..."


Episode 21 "Rent Day"	Episode 22 "Gotta Be Me"	Episode 23 "The Manchurian Dinner Date"	Episode 24 "Bring the Pain"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three

Episode 1 "Coming from America"	Episode 2 "Breaking Chains"	Episode 3 "Louisween"	Episode 4 "Citizen Jessica"


Episode 5 "No Thanks-giving"	Episode 6 "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"	Episode 7 "The Taming of the Dads"	Episode 8 "Where are the Giggles?"


Episode 9 "How to Be an American"	Episode 10 "The Best of Orlando"	Episode 11 "Clean Slate"	Episode 12 "Sisters Without Subtext"


Episode 13 "Neighbors with Attitude"	Episode 14 "The Gloves Are Off"	Episode 15 "Living While Eddie"	Episode 16 "Gabby Goose"

	]
Episode 17 "The Flush"	Episode 18 "Time to Get Ill"	Episode 19 "Driving Miss Jenny"	Episode 20 "The Masters"


Episode 21 "Pie vs. Cake"	Episode 22 "This Is Us"	Episode 23 "This Isn't Us"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four

Episode 1 "B as in Best Friends"	Episode 2 "First Day"	Episode 3 "Kids"	Episode 4 "It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"

Episode 5 "Four Funerals and a Wedding"	Episode 6 "A League of Her Own"	Episode 7 "The Day After Thanksgiving"	Episode 8 "The Vouch"

Episode 9 "Slide Effect"	Episode 10 "Do You Hear What I Hear?"	Episode 11 "Big Baby"	Episode 12 "Liar Liar"

Episode 13 "The Car Wash"	Episode 14 "A Man to Share the Night With"	Episode 15 "We Need to Talk About Evan"	Episode 16 "Ride the Tiger"

Episode 17 "Let Me Go, Bro"	Episode 18 "Measure Twice, Cut Once"	Episode 19 "King in the North"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five

Episode 1 "Fresh Off the RV"	Episode 2 "The Hand That Sits the Cradle"	Episode 3 "Working the 'Ween"	Episode 4 "Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5 "Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"	Episode 6 "Sub Standard"	Episode 7 "Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"	Episode 8 "Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9 "Just the Two of Us"	Episode 10 "You've Got a Girlfriend"	Episode 11 "Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"	Episode 12 "Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13 "Grand-Mahjong"	Episode 14 "Cupid's Crossbow"	Episode 15 "Be a Man"	Episode 16 "Trentina"
Episode 17 "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"	Episode 18 "Rancho Contento"	Episode 19 "Vice Mommy"	Episode 20 "Nerd Watching"
Episode 21 "Under the Taipei Sun"	Episode 22 "No Apology Necessary"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six

Episode 1 "Help Unwanted?"	Episode 2 "College"	Episode 3 "Grandma's Boys"	Episode 4 "S'Mothered"
Episode 5 "Hal-Lou-Ween"	Episode 6 "Chestnut Gardens"	Episode 7 "Practicum?!"	Episode 8 "TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9 "Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"	Episode 10 "Jessica Town"	Episode 11 "A Seat at the Table"	Episode 12 "The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13 "Mommy and Me"	Episode 14 "Family Van"	Episode 15 "Commencement"