He is loosely based off the real life Eddie Huang, whose memoir served as the basis for the television series. He is portrayed by Hudson Yang.
Eddie Huang was born on November 10, 1983 according to the episode "The Big 1-2". He is a die-hard hip-hop and rap fan pre-teen Chinese immigrant who came from Washington, D.C., to South Florida and is obsessed with the African-American culture.
Eddie moves from Chinatown in Washington, D.C. to Orlando with the rest of his family after his father opens Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse in South Florida. Considering himself the black sheep of the family, his life becomes harder when he finds it difficult to make friends at school, his chance at making friends cut short when the smell of his Chinese noodles for lunch repulses his white peers, who liken the noodles to worms, forcing Eddie to eat outside the school with the janitor. Eddie convinces his parents to buy "white people lunch" and has his mother buy him Lunchables, but gets into a fight the next day at school when Walter, the only black kid at the school, calls him a chink and claims that it is now his turn to be at the bottom. This prompts Eddie and Walter to get into a fight, although Eddie, who stated that his mother never stood up for him, overhears her berate the principal for not punishing Walter and exclaims that they would sue the school if Eddie was suspended. As Eddie prepares to go home, he sees the boys who made fun of his lunch earlier, a boy named Brock, and states that he has earned respect for his actions.
As he didn't have many friends or distractions in Orlando, Eddie aced school, receiving top marks in his classes. However, Jessica believed that school was too easy for him if he was capable of acing his classes, prompting her to demand Principal Hunter where the closest Chinese Learning Center (CLC) was, only to be informed that Orlando did not have any, much to Eddie's joy. However, Louis, wanting Jessica to no longer be at the restaurant, convinced her that homeschooling their CLC would be beneficial, prompting Eddie to expose Louis' deception to Jessica as a way to end his CLC. Making amends with his father, the pair played basketball on a neighbor's driveway.
In order to impress his friends, Eddie tried to woo Honey, the woman next door. His attempts were nigh until Honey approached him, notifying him that she was aware of his intents and, citing that she was friends with Jessica, offered him a hug or a kiss on the cheek in full view of whomever he was trying to impress. Eddie wished for a chest-to-chest hug, although Honey cut the hug short once Eddie grabbed her butt. Eddie's feelings for Honey ended when he saw Honey's stepdaughter, Nicole Ellis, appear, developing an instant attraction to her.
Eddie was overjoyed to be reunited with his cousin, Justin Chen, as Justin was the one who introduced him to rap culture, only for Justin to come over and announce that he found Tupac immature and that he was into grunge, being a big fan of Nirvana. As a result, Eddie invited Emery and Evan to his room so they could listen to his rap records with him.
Eddie began to envy the other boys in school, some of whom attended weekly sleepovers. Due to him gaining respect for touching Honey's butt, he is invited to the sleepover, but finds himself unable to attend when Jessica refuses, citing potential pedophilia. She offers to have the sleepover at the Huang house, although the other boys refuse since Brock's brother has an issue of Swimsuit Illustrated, which they perceive to be a dirty magazine. Eddie then lies that he has a dirty movie at home, prompting the boys to decide to take him up on his earlier offer and have the sleepover at his house. Eddie goes to a video rental store to steal an adult tape, but his attempts are hindered by Brock, who had gone to the video store having predicted Eddie's actions.
As the boys show up the sleepover, Eddie passes off one of Dusty Nugget's sexual harassment tapes as a dirty movie; as the kids have never seen a dirty movie before, they believe the harassment video to be one, earning Eddie additional respect. Brock, having become jealous that Eddie's sleepover was more successful than his prior ones, steals the tapes and makes copies, giving them to every boy at school and thus preventing Eddie from having anything valuable to entice the boys from having more sleepovers at the Huang house. Eventually, the school catches on and alerts the parents, recommending that they have "the talk" with their children. While the other kids are given a textbook version, Eddie is given a more realistic and practical version by Louis, which Eddie appreciates, although Eddie is soon attacked by Jessica through a pillow when Jessica finds out Louis did not discuss consent with him. Later at school, Brock tries to have another sleepover at his house, although the boys elect to have one at Eddie's house again instead.
When Eddie asks him for money to buy "Shaq Fu", Louis instead puts him to work at Cattleman's Ranch, wanting Eddie to work hard and learn the value of money the way his father taught him. Eddie begins working as the "fajita boy" before deciding to not show up out of the blue, after having earned only eighteen dollars. Louis is reminded by his mother that her husband never spent time with the kids or showed affection, and Louis decides he does not want to be that kind of father; Louis pays Eddie a visit in his room and gives him money to buy Shaq Fu. Louis has Mitch take over Eddie's duties, although Mitch fails. Eddie then shows up at the restaurant with the game, explaining that he wishes to earn the game himself, adding that he did not come to this realization until after he purchased Shaq Fu. Eddie gives Louis the game to hold on to while he becomes what Louis affectionately refers to "fajita man." After the two return home, Jessica informs them that she has become a realtor.
Eddie tries to spend time with Nicole but finds himself unable to do so, dealing with the older kids and their tormenting ways on the bus. Eddie then decides to suggest a carpool, although Nicole doesn't join his mother's carpool, preferring to take the bus. After Louis and Jessica are invited to a country club, Jessica hires Nicole to be Eddie's babysitter. Eddie tries to impress her by pouring loads of hot sauce on his food despite his weak stomach, which causes him to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. However, Nicole had borrowed one of Eddie's Notorious B.I.G. cassettes and became a fan of the music, and thus befriended Eddie in the process.
Despite making friends at school, Eddie remained a little distant as they were white and he was the only Asian in the school. Principal Hunter then paired him with Phillip Goldstein, a new Chinese student. Eddie was initially enthusiastic about having another Asian student at school, but realized he and Phillip were vastly different; Phillip, while ethnically Chinese, was adopted and raised by Jewish white parents, and preferred more classical interests such as Tolstoy and Les Miserables compared to Eddie's more hip-hop interests. Eddie attempted to divest himself from Phillip's company, even going as far as notifying Principal Hunter that it was racist to force them to be constantly paired in and out of classes just because they were both Chinese, although this merely led Hunter to create a "Pacific Rim club" for Asian students, which naturally only contained Eddie and Phillip as the two only Asians in the school.
After school, Jessica came to pick up Eddie as Eddie had dropped the school bus system in favor of carpool the previous episode, and was shocked to see another Chinese boy at school. Jessica elected to give Phillip a ride, forcing Eddie to sit in the back and giving the passenger seat to Phillip. Jessica became increasingly proud of Phillip due to his academic and cultural interests such as playing solo cello and practicing for five hours a day, and deeming Phillip a good Chinese boy, wanted him and Eddie to spend more time together. Earlier, Eddie had asked his mother for permission to attend a Beastie Boys concert, although she had refused; noting her interest in Phillip, Eddie told Jessica that Phillip was interested in going to the concert as well, prompting Jessica to allow Eddie to attend. However, Eddie's efforts were hampered when Jessica revealed that the Goldsteins had invited them over for dinner that night.
Much to Eddie's surprise, Phillip played along with his lie. When he questioned him, Phillip disclosed that as a devout Jew, he was adhering to the rules of Shabbat and could not have his parents drive him or handle money himself; Phillip offered to attend the Beastie Boys concert with Eddie if Eddie took the bus with him and handled money on his behalf so that he could watch Les Miserables. Eddie agreed, only to have Phillip ditch him after the performance had ended. Panicking, Eddie called Jessica, and after failing to find him, the duo headed to the Goldsteins' house, where Jessica told him that she would pin most of the blame on him for legal purposes. However, they were shocked to see Phillip answer the door. After Jessica berated Phillip for his selfish behavior, Eddie was impressed by her actions, and ultimately was surprised when she drove him to Tampa the next night to attend a Beastie Boys concert with him.
Wanting to spend time with Nicole, Eddie asks his father how to accomplish that. Louis tells Eddie that he should be where she is after school, suggesting that he should join the clubs she is a part of and they should seek common interests. After discovering that Nicole spends much of her time after school in detention, Eddie gets himself thrown in detention as well. Discovering that Nicole is into beauty, he pretends to share the same interests and allows her to pierce his ear. His friends then notify him that Shaquille O'Neal is at the mall, although he is unable to go as Nicole suggests he let her draw henna on his hands. Upset that he did not get to see Shaq, Eddie heads home, where his parents discover his earring and henna. Jessica tells him that he cannot quit, although Eddie merely informs Nicole that he isn't into the things she is into, while adding that she is very good at it, though.
When the science fair comes up, Eddie panics, citing that the week of the science fair was a big thing in Asian households, adding that the winner's class got pizza. Eddie claims that he thought they would be notified of the project six months in advance, only for Evan to point out that six months had passed. After Evan contracts chicken pox, Eddie decides to have his brother pass on the illness to him so that he can skip out on the science fair. Eddie's attempts are in vain, however, as Evan is cognizant of his actions; Evan tells Eddie to focus his potential on his project, instead wishing to pass on the chickenpox to his other brother Emery.
After Emery receives the chickenpox as well, Eddie voices his discontent, including specifying the virus' airborne period, its scientific name and other details, informing his brothers that he had even done research on it, much to his brothers' shock. Realizing that he accidentally learned something, Evan and Emery decide to help him put together a quick project on chickenpox using poster boards, markers and glitter glue. While Eddie does not win the science fair with his makeshift project, he steals a box of pizza from a delivery boy and brings it for home for he and his brothers to share, as they had all missed out on their respective class' pizza party.
Recording 2Pac music off the radio on bootleg CDs, Eddie sells them in the school cafeteria for $5 each, until his operation is busted by Ray, the new school counselor. Rather than punish him, Ray elects to help Eddie channel his hustle into something productive, which leads Eddie to run for school president. At home, Eddie witnesses the struggle his mother has over selling a house situated on 44 West 44th Street, which is troubling for her as she is superstitious due to the number 4 being considered bad luck in Chinese culture due to it being pronounced sì (四), which sounds like the Chinese word for "death", sǐ (死). While she manages to sell the house, she refuses to cash in a check for $7,500 due to it having a check number of '4444'. While at Cattleman's, Eddie trips on the cord to a mechanical bull, breaking his arm in the process. Louis asks Eddie and his brothers not to tell the truth to Jessica, explaining that he had purchased the bull using Jessica's torn check and that it was okay to tell a white lie.
With the message being imparted to him that lying is okay for a good cause, Eddie lies at school about how he broke his arm in order to garner votes for his election. This raises the suspicion of Ray, who reports the incident to Child Services, prompting a worker, Mrs. Parker, to visit the home. Eddie then comes clean about his lies, and ultimately does not win the election. He then receives a pair of shoes from Scottie Pippen, but when he claims that they aren't quite like Shaq's, Pippen calls them rude and leaves.
Louis is soon volunteered to be the coach of the boys' basketball team at Abraham Lincoln Middle School. Since Louis played semi-pro basketball in Taiwan, Eddie believes he will teach their team Taiwanese-style basketball, which he imagines to be gravity and physics defying feats of athleticism. Louis tries to impart on the team the notion of working together as a team, since the other boys, including Eddie, do not really play, instead allowing Dmitri, a much taller, stronger and mature young man on their team to single-handedly play the game for them, although Eddie claims that basketball is no longer a team sport but rather a team supporting one all-star player. After Louis accidentally injures Dmitri, rendering him unable to play the game, he still tells them that they could win, likening the situation to the film The Mighty Ducks.
However, the opposing basketball team has a "Dmitri" of their own, and they lose horribly. Louis speaks to the referee about a mercy rule and suggests that they forfeit the game and instead go to a restaurant, claiming that Eddie was right about basketball no longer being a team sport, although Eddie rallies the boys, claiming that while they can't win, they could still beat the other team. The boys proceed to assault and cause technical violations against the opposing team; while they lost the game, they set the record for the most fouls in the process.
Jessica urges Louis to purchase a membership for them at the North Orlando Country Club after the Huangs were invited, believing it to be an ultimate symbol of their success. While Louis is reluctant to spend that much money, Jessica urges him to give it a chance and he is eventually won over. However, when Marvin Ellis responds to the Huangs' statements of them being the first Asian-American members that he forgot they were Chinese, this upsets Jessica, who fears they are losing hold of their ethnic identity. Upon realizing that she eats chip-wichs, watches Melrose Place, makes macaroni-and-cheese dinners and allows shoes to be worn in the house, along with the fact that her children cannot speak or understand Mandarin as well as Eddie's love for Jamaica, Jessica overhauls the entire family to be more culturally Chinese. She tells Louis to cancel the club membership, claiming that they cannot surround themselves by white people and attend country clubs if they are to maintain their cultural identity. This affects Eddie, who had chosen Jamaica as the country to represent for his school's "World Culture's Day" event, which Jessica forcing the principal to switch him to China. Jessica also dresses in a more Chinese manner at home and sends her sons to Chinese school in Tampa, two hours away, to learn Mandarin, although none of the boys understand what is being said.
However, Louis has grown to like the club and lies to Jessica about cancelling the membership, but she realizes he went to the club due to his aftershave, although Louis discovers that she has stayed home to watch Melrose Place. Jessica laments that she likes the show and she likes making macaroni-and-cheese dinners and that she hates that she likes American culture, although Louis tells her that it is okay to like it and that they don't have to give up American culture to maintain their Chinese identity. Giving up, Jessica allows Eddie to switch back to Jamaica. Eddie enjoys the switch, but becomes upset when Trent claims that all China has are goofy pandas. Eddie then goes on a tirade defending China and its 5,000 year history, earning him an F in the class but also the pride of his parents, Jessica especially, who hangs his "F" on the fridge. Shortly after, they all head to the country club, with Eddie inviting Nicole, who tells him she is already a member. As they depart, Louis finally swaps out the family minivan's Washington, D.C. plates with Florida custom ones that read "SO CHINEEZ".
Following the end of the school year, Eddie and his friends realize that they have to return for the next school year with something to show for it. Eddie believes his pair of '95 Reebok pumps would be enough to show off and spends his summer at home playing video games. However, at the end of summer vacation, the Reebok pumps lose their status, prompting Eddie to find another way to have something to show when school starts again. After his family decides to go to the Gator World resort, Eddie decides to ride on the "Death Roll" rollercoasters, where those who ride get a T-shirt that proves they successfully rode the coaster. Eddie waits in line all day for the ride, but when he finally gets to the front, he sees a kid his age being wheeled out on a stretcher; realizing that there was no way he was putting himself in danger for clout, Eddie abandoned the line and left the park.
Returning to school after the vacation, Eddie took Evan's baby tooth and paraded it around as a hammerhead shark tooth, lying to his friends that he had gone cliff-diving and that he had harpooned the shark, although his friends are able to see through his lies. Right before his social status can get stigmatized, however, Nicole appears, calling him cool for sitting around playing video games. Nicole reveals that she partied with his mom too much and skipped out on summer school, and therefore has to repeat the 8th grade again. With the boys in his grade surprised that Nicole is friends with him, in addition to Nicole's praise of his summer time activities, Eddie's social status remains strong and he is given the nickname "Chill Eddie".
Since Nicole didn't have friends anymore, as they all graduated and the current 8th graders didn't like her as she picked on them the year before, Nicole sat with Eddie and his friends at lunch, which protected them from being tormented by the 8th grade boys. As Eddie walked Nicole to after-school tutoring, her teacher, Mr. Fisher, believed Eddie was her tutor, as he saw Asian students as being smart, claiming they "excelled at all subjects" and even at stringed instruments. Not wanting to learn, Nicole lied that Eddie was her tutor, which Eddie went along with after Nicole told him they could use the period to just hang out. However, Jessica was against Eddie being a tutor, claiming tutoring was a step away from being a teacher, a profession which to her was a paycheck away from being homeless. Jessica wished for Eddie to learn the piccolo after school instead, although he defied her and continued to "tutor" Nicole. As a result, Jessica approached Mr. Fisher and had him send Eddie multiple students to tutor, one of them being a new boy named Chris, whom Nicole immediately hit it off with. Depressed that he had lost his chance with Nicole, the heartbroken Eddie took Nicole's Boyz II Men CD and played "End of the Road" on repeat at home for days. He was later approached by Jessica, who spoke to him about her own heartbreak and how things got better for her. Eddie then took up piccolo as she wanted, but on his way to after-school practice, witnessed a girl named Alison Olsen play Dr. Dre's "Nothin' But A G Thang" on the piccolo, which impressed him.
Due to the summer heat, Eddie wished to purchase a Hot Dogger home inflatable waterslide, although Louis refuses to purchase it. Realizing that Evan's Beanie Babies are worth a lot of money, Eddie imagines a scenario where Evan gives him permission to sell them in exchange for using the money to buy the waterslide, and informs Emery that Evan approved. Eddie sells the Beanie Babies and buys the waterslide, which he and Emery enjoy; when Evan comes outside, he discovers that Eddie sold his toys. Eddie claims that they are just toys and that he did it for them, although the sad Evan replies that the Beanie babies were his friends, and Emery, disgusted and appalled, leaves Eddie to his own devices. After receiving a signed shoe of Shaquille O'Neal, Eddie sells the autographed shoe to buy back the Beanie babies, which he gives to Evan.
Eddie decided to use his school's dance, dubbed the Fall Ball, as a way to get closer to Allison. However, Louis was appointed as a chaperone, and as someone who desperately wanted to experience an American school dance but never got to, Louis used Eddie to vicariously experience it through him. While Eddie initially enjoyed his father's assistance, when it came to dressing a certain why and how to approach Allison, he felt his father's direction to be too pressuring on him and abruptly chose to stay home instead. Louis then returned home where the two made amends, and the pair went to the dance. Eddie approached Allison and asked her to dance, and she replied that it was about time he asked her; the pair then went on to have an enjoyable school dance as Louis watched on proudly.
The week after, Eddie was excited as Halloween rolled around, as it was not something he really celebrated whilst living in an apartment in Washington, D.C.'s Chinatown. Eddie dressed up as Humpty Hump, Shock G's alter ego from the Digital Underground and planned with his friends to get knee-deep in candy. Much to his slight dismay, Louis made him take Emery and Evan with him. Eddie was soon approached by Louis to help Jessica fight the Teenage Boys, being told that Halloween was half cute costumes and candy while the other half was chaos and mayhem. With the eggs being ruined by Dave, however, Eddie called Nicole and her friends to defeat the boys, claiming that teenage girls were the one thing teenage boys were afraid of. Returning home, Eddie relished the fact that he was at least ankle-deep in candy.
A week later, Eddie was confused when he was told that Alison considered herself his girlfriend. Enjoying the fact that he had a girlfriend, Eddie was further confused when his friends told him Alison's friends were their girlfriends, although they didn't know which girl was whose girlfriend. After meeting at the mall's escalators, Eddie believed Alison was his girlfriend as she pushed him into the Fall Ball's mosh pit, only for his friends to tell him that she pushed them, too. While attending a group date at the roller rink, the girls were upset that the boys didn't know which girl was their girlfriend, and Alison stormed off. After speaking with Emery at home, who gave him advice to go and actually talk to her, as they had been communicating previously through a middleman named Ned, Eddie apologized to Alison, telling her that he really liked her and that he didn't like that they broke up, although Alison corrected him by stating that they weren't broken up and that they merely had their first fight, which they had gotten over and thus their relationship was stronger.
On November 9, 1995, the day before Eddie's 12th birthday, Eddie returned from a "sleepover" at a friend's house, informing his parents that he was the only who didn't actually get to sleepover. Noticing his parents preparing to set up birthday celebrations, he asks them to sit down and tells them that he doesn't want a party or cake, but would accept cash or gold as presents, citing that as he is almost a teenager, he would rather spend the day at the mall with his friends. The next day, Eddie spends the day at the mall, where he has his own birthday party he hosted himself, having invited his school friends and Mitch, unaware that his parents are watching him. After they confront him at home, he reveals that he cannot be himself at home due to Jessica's rules and the fact that he would never be like Evan and Emery, and thus can only be himself around his friends. As a result, his parents decide to loosen up some of the rules and allow him to attend a sleepover at Dave's house the next night. Eddie enjoys the sleepover at first, eating Cookie Crisp cereal, playing violent video games and fighting with light swords inside the house, but finds Dave's family dynamic and interactions weird, eventually leaving their house prematurely and walking back home in the middle of the night, where his parents have been staying awake waiting for him. He informs them that while he does like hanging with his friends, he likes being home as well, and stays up with his parents as Jessica spends the next six hours making 'birthday noodles', with the three being joined by Evan and Emery later. The next day, Eddie heads to Cattleman's to spend time with Mitch, and Louis approaches them to ask when they became friends. Eddie replies that they befriended one another in the service, referring to the food service and their stint as fajita men.
Eddie was soon informed by his father that they would be hosting this year's Thanksgiving, which Eddie responded to by saying that he was excited to see Justin again and listen to music. Emery pointed out that Eddie preferred rap while Justin preferred grunge, although Eddie revealed that he found a middle ground between the two genres – Pearl Jam. As the Huangs got ready for Thanksgiving, Louis asked the family to handle separate tasks, with Eddie's self-proclaimed task being that he promised not to bump into stuff, to which Louis responded that he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep. When Justin arrived, Eddie showed him his Pearl Jam CD, only for Justin to announce that grunge was dead and that he was into ska now. In his room, Justin revealed to Eddie that they could use the Internet to look at pictures of sexy ladies, much to Eddie's surprise. Eddie wished to see a photo of Janet Jackson while Justin wished to see a photo of Janeane Garofalo; as a compromise, the two picked Tracy Chapman, although the "sexy photo" they thought they were looking at was a regular photo.
As Alison's birthday was approaching the coming Saturday, Eddie wished to buy her a necklace as a present, which was valued at $49.99. Eddie attempted to work at Cattleman's to earn the money, although Louis told him that he could not afford to pay him to work at the moment, instead redirecting him to a job posting he saw at the country club. Eddie pursues the listing, which turns out to be a job working as a helper for none other than DMX. As DMX made Eddie sign a non-disclosure agreement, Eddie is unable to tell Alison who he is working for, and the constant and tiring work after school makes him cranky towards her. Fearful of losing her due to his attitude, Eddie asks DMX for help, and he shows Eddie his greenhouse where he keeps his flowers. He tells Eddie that flowers calm him down and tells Eddie that the necklace isn't important as giving Alison his time. Eddie is then driven by DMX to Alison's house, much to her shock, where he tells her he had been working for DMX but couldn't talk about it, and that he had done it so that he could buy her a necklace. Eddie is happy when Alison replies that she didn't care about a necklace and that DMX driving his El Dorado to her house was the best birthday present she could have ever gotten.
The Christmas season begins and Eddie witnesses Emery create a replica of the bakery set that Jessica always wanted. Emery asks Eddie what he plans to get Jessica for Christmas, and Eddie shrugs it off, citing that he doesn't know. Emery responds that thoughtful presents are always appreciated, citing an example of him writing his own novel "A Pearl For God" which he gave Grandma Huang last year. However, Eddie then calls their grandmother into the room and asks her what Emery gave her last Christmas, which she doesn't remember. When Emery reminds her, she replies that she uses it make the orange bowl seem more full. Eddie then asks her what he got her last Christmas, and she replies that he gave her a Nerf boomerang, which she still has and uses. The next day while attending breakfast at Cattleman's, Emery is angry when he witnesses Honey present Jessica with the actual bakery set, rendering his replica gift useless. Eddie imparts him with the philosophy of "letting it ride", followed by a kick, citing that it means to simply allow things to run its course and that they usually end up working out in the end.
Unwilling to follow that mindset, Emery attempts to create another gift for his mother, and Eddie presents him with a "poem he wrote", which are actually the lyrics to 2Pac's song "Dear Mama", although Emery is unaware of it. Emery then uses calligraphy and parchment paper to write out "Eddie's poem", but when he finishes, hears his grandmother listening to the song and realizes it was plagiarism. Emery then makes film canister earrings for Jessica but laments that this isn't the type of gift he gives; Eddie then has Grandma Huang use the boomerang to destroy the original bakery set Honey gave Jessica and presents his mother with the replica, telling his mother that Emery built it for her, which deeply impresses her. In gratitude, Emery stealthily passes off his film canister earrings to Eddie, which Eddie presents to Jessica as something he made on his own. Eddie tells Emery that perhaps there is something behind giving thoughtful gifts after all, while Emery replies that he was just thinking that there might be merit behind "letting it ride"; the pair then do the kick associated with the catchphrase, although Emery follows it through with several acrobatic kicks, which Eddie reacts to by claiming that it is like looking into a mirror. The two brothers then witnessed Evan open his Christmas gifts; Emery asks Evan about Santa delivering the gifts and the pair share a smile as Evan responds, as Evan still believes in Santa.
Eddie and his family prepared to fly back to Washington, D.C. for Chinese New Year, with Eddie being excited to received red envelopes full of money so that he could purchase the new Jordans. He informed Emery and Evan that he would not have enough even if he received money from every adult, and offered to trade them a broken toy in exchange for three envelopes from each of them, although they refused. However, after getting to the airport, the boys discovered that their flight was in fact yesterday; to make matters worse, Louis notified them that the only red pockets they would receive would be from their parents and their grandmother, and since their parents only wrote messages on the envelope, their grandmother was their only hope for money. They attempted to be nice and sympathetic to Grandma Huang, although she informed them that she would not be giving them any envelopes.
Eddie then accompanied his family to the Asian-American Association of Orlando, believing he would get red envelopes there, only to find out that it contained no Chinese members and mainly consisted of Caucasian people who had no idea what Chinese New Year truly was. Shortly after, he and the rest of the family went to Cattleman's for dinner, where they were surprised by a makeshift Chinese New Year celebration. Marvin gave Eddie and his brothers red envelopes, which excited them briefly until they discovered there was no money inside, as Louis had told Marvin that the envelopes were just to have a message on them. However, after dinner, Grandma Huang presented each of the boys with a hundred dollars each; as Eddie thanked her, Emery told her that she didn't have to do that and that while it was generous, all they needed was her love. This prompted Eddie to declare that he would take Emery's money while Emery retorted that it was merely a sentiment; nevertheless, Eddie tackled Emery to the ground and attempted to wrest the money out of his brother's hand as Grandma Huang watched on, hoping the strongest one would win.
As Valentine's Day approached, Eddie wished to take Alison out to the Janet Jackson concert, although he did not buy tickets, instead opting to win them through a local radio contest. With the help of Trent, the pair used both the landline and the fax phone line to constantly call the radio station when Trent finally won. While Eddie intended to use the two tickets for himself and Alison, Trent wished to keep one of the tickets as he was a big Janet Jackson fan and since he was the one who technically won, and stipulated that either Eddie or Alison could claim the second ticket. Eddie however informed Alison of the situation and brought her to the concert, where he revealed his plan: to take the two tickets, which had very good seats, and trade them with a scalper for three okay seats, although the scalper stole the tickets and ran off. Eddie, Alison and Trent then spent the night listening to the concert from the outside when they were approached by two of Janet Jackson's producers, Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, who offered them complimentary VIP seats for the next night's concert. However, as they returned the next night, they realized that their three seats were hidden behind a pillar, which obstructed them from seeing anything, prompting Eddie to voice his frustration, stating that the pillar was not supporting anything and held no structural significance.
While talking with Alison after school about Ol' Dirty Bastard, Alison tells Eddie to call him. Eddie is then approached by Reba, a classmate who has a crush on him. Noticing his picture on her belongings, he tells her that Alison is his girlfriend, although Reba replies that she knows and that she is next in line. Eddie struggles to talk on the phone with Alison, citing that he conveys over 80% of his mannerisms through body language, and his attempt to talk to Alison on the phone are interrupted when both of their fathers get on the line. As a result, Eddie makes a mixtape for her, and slips it into his biology folder to present it to Alison. The next day at school, their teacher decides to have them switch partners, and while Alison is partnered with Ned, Eddie is forced to work with Reba. Reba tells him that she would do his work for him and puts his folder in his backpack. Returning home after school, Eddie receives a phone call by Reba praising his mixtape and tells him that she loves him, too.
The following day at school, Eddie attempts to explain the situation to Reba, although she replies that he must be in a bad relationship he can't get out of and offers to talk to Alison, forcing Eddie to respond that he would tell Alison herself. Eddie then notifies his friends about the debacle, and as Alison approaches, Alison uses the PA system to announce that Eddie is her boyfriend; however, as she is about to say Eddie's name, Trent pulls the fire alarm to drown out the PA, saving him. Eddie returns home and discusses the situation with Emery, who suggests he merely call Alison and inform her of the situation, although Eddie refuses, instead opting to create a mixtape to dispel Reba's feelings towards him. He contacts Nicole for help and has her bring him Marvin's CDs, and asks her about Chris. Nicole tells him that Chris did a really good Forrest Gump impression the other day, to which Eddie responds by doing his own impression on the character. Nicole merely looks at him and walks away, although not before uttering that he never made her a mixtape, confusing him.
The next day in class, Eddie attempts to present Reba with a mixtape, although the biology teacher notices and confiscates it. To make matters worse, Ned suggests that he use the cassette player and the teacher agrees, and Eddie zips up his hoodie as the class hears him address the tape to Reba, which outrages Alison. Returning home, Emery once again advises him to merely call and communicate. Eddie then calls Reba and apologizes for embarrassing her, although she responds that he embarrassed himself and that their relationship at the present would not work out. Eddie then calls Alison, who is about to hang up, although he asks her not to and does a live mixtape on the phone for her, which soothes her anger and mends their relationship.
Eddie, Emery and Evan were given the same backpacks for school as Jessica had gotten four of them for the price of one, giving the fourth one to Grandma Huang. Eddie, who had accidentally taken Evan's bag, noticed a letter indicating Evan to "Get me my Pogs or else". Eddie then confronted Evan, who told him that he was picked on by another kid for his Pogs, and Eddie told him to stand up tall and make an intimidating face. After Louis and Jessica were told by Billie Jean King that Emery had innate tennis talent, they decided that Emery needed his own room without distractions and had Emery swap with Eddie, forcing Eddie to bunk with Evan. Evan informed Eddie that according to his BMA (Bunk Mate Agreement), Eddie had to comply by three rules: one, he could not rearrange the star stickers on the ceiling as they were set to match the equinox; two, Eddie must help Evan get out of his clothes if he got stuck, and after Eddie makes an The Odd Couple reference, cites that the third rule is that Eddie could only make references Evan would get. Eddie then changes topics and asks him how his problem at school went, and Evan replies that Eddie's suggestion did not work since the kid was a fifth-grader who was aware of the tactic. Eddie then proclaims that only he gets to pick on Evan and declares that it was time he regulated the issue.
Eddie rallies his friends Dave, Walter, Trent, and Brian and the group head to Evan's elementary school, where they witness Evan being bullied by a kid in a hoodie. Eddie approaches the kid and wheels them around to confront them, only to be shocked that Evan is being harassed by a girl. The girl, Stacey, explains that they had been playing Pogs and that Evan owes her, and Eddie discovers that Evan has been gambling through Pogs and owes a debt. Returning home, Eddie asks Evan what he sees in Pogs, and Evan replies that he relished the thrill and excitement of risk, although he acknowledges that he has gone too far. However, Evan's solution to this is to steal money from Jessica's purse after she gets sleepy after Mexican food, shocking and impressing Eddie, who declares that Evan is not a nerd but a lowercase "g". Eddie then formulates a plan, and has Stacey come over to their house. He notifies Stacey that if she wins, Evan owes her double, but that if they win, Evan's debt is cleared, with Grandma Huang playing in Evan's stead, as Eddie claims she is the best gambler of the family. Grandma Huang wins, although Eddie has to drag Evan away as Evan attempts to play more rounds. Eddie then presented Evan with a guide on how to be a stockbroker, informing Evan that he read an article in VICE magazine on Russell Simmons and how if one wished to gamble, they should do it with other people's money. After Emery's tennis career comes to an abrupt end, he informs Eddie and Evan that they are to switch rooms again, although Eddie asks to share one last night with Evan. Evan then exclaims out loud as he notices that Eddie has changed the star stickers on the ceiling, which now read "Wu-Tang".
While at school, Eddie is informed by Nicole that Chris has broken up with her, and he asks her if she wants to get ice cream with him later, to which she agrees. Dave then asks Eddie how Alison would feel if she knew Eddie was going out for ice cream with a girl he used to have a crush on, only for Eddie to tell Dave that Alison doesn't know about that. Eddie and Dave then talk with the rest of their friends, and while Brian suggests that Eddie just tell Alison about his old crush, Eddie responds that since he didn't tell her about it to begin with, it would seem like he's hiding something if he divulges it now. The group then spend the day making sure the girls don't meet, although Dave points out that the girls' bathroom is the one place that is out of their reach. They then witness Alison and Nicole together, with Alison revealing to Eddie that she met Nicole in the girls' bathroom and that she understands why Eddie used to have a crush on her.
However, as Alison claims that they don't need to worry about old crushes, she reveals that she used to have a crush on Dave after witnessing him pet a squirrel. Jealous, Eddie witnesses Alison and Dave talking the next day as Dave is setting a squirrel trap and informs Alison that the squirrel that she thought Dave was petting had actually bit him, hence the trap, and adds that Dave probably should have created a "Dad trap" to ensnare his absent father, while also outing Dave's infatuation with Jasmine from Disney's Aladdin. Dave storms off, calling Eddie out for his cheap move and prompting Alison to berate his actions. After Eddie claims that Dave and Alison hanging out is a bad idea, Nicole then walks by and asks Eddie if they're still on for ice cream, causing Alison to point out the hypocrisy in Eddie's actions. Eddie then goes out for ice cream with Dave instead, apologizing for what he had done and claiming that he had done so because he was jealous and couldn't yet comprehend and accept the fact that Alison liked him.
After school, Eddie watched DuckTales with his brothers, and the trio discuss how they would fare surviving on a deserted island and who would eat who. The three were elated when Louis returned home, telling them jokes, pulling off a dance move, and presenting them with chocolate cake they could eat in their rooms. After Louis breaks his knee that night, Louis is forced to stay at home. In order to entertain them, he allows the three boys to draw on his cast and even cut it off for fun, prompting them all to go to the hospital so that Louis can get a new cast. Wanting to be the fun dad, Louis gives his sons $50 to buy snacks from the vending machines; as they return, Louis tells them that he isn't really a fun dad and that he can't always entertain them as they like, only for Eddie and his brothers to confess that his entertainment can sometimes be overbearing and that all he needs to do is be present and spend time with them, and that they were content with simply hanging out with him eating snacks.
As the North Orlando Chili Cook-Off was commencing, Louis enlisted Eddie to be his chili apprentice, which Eddie was enthusiastic over. The pair headed to Cattleman's kitchen to work on their chili. However, after finally finishing it tasting it, and informing his father that it was "not bad", Louis dumped the chili in the trash, telling Eddie that "not bad" wasn't good enough to win. Eddie suggested they they toast cumin in some bacon fat, although Louis immediately cut him off, notifying him that the reason he never had Jessica come into the kitchen and help him make chili is because she too offers alternatives and attempts to modify the recipe. As a result of his opinions not being acknowledged, Eddie quits beings his chili apprentice. While at school, he is confronted by Trent, who is shocked that Eddie was picked by his father to apprentice, and voices his disappointment at Eddie's inability to follow orders and to do as he is told.
Eddie then signs up for the chili cook-off under the name "Big Daddy Huang", facing off against his father and Marvin. Louis initially believes Eddie isn't a threat as Eddie had been cooking with Louis for only three days, to which Eddie responded that it was the basics that he learned from Louis and that it was time he broke his shackles. Louis was impressed by Eddie's chili, uttering in disbelief that Eddie could not have made it from scratch. Gus and Mey-Mey from Good Morning Orlando appeared to announce the winners, notifying that Marvin had been disqualified as he had used pre-cooked meat in his chili: a Whopper from Burger King. The three finalists were then picked: Eddie, Louis and a woman named Gloria. Gloria won, but believing pride was a sin, relinquished the trophy to Eddie and Louis, who took it home and displayed it in front of their window to Marvin, who was led to believe that Louis had won the trophy.
After discovering that one of his teachers, Mr. G, was participate in the student-faculty basketball game, where the winning team received pizza, Eddie told his friends that they didn't need to practice anymore and brought up the fact that Mr. G had missed his own son's birth. Eddie and Mr. G then made a bet: if Eddie scored even one basket against Mr. G, the entire class would have no homework for the rest of the semester; however, if Eddie failed, he would receive double homework for the rest of the semester. Eddie is then sent home from school after it is discovered he has lice, and is forced to live outside the house on the lawn, which he finds very enjoyable, as he gets to skip school and the basketball game. Eddie's parents attempt to get rid of his lice as well as Evan's lice, and while Evan is cured, Eddie is not, as he washed off the lice-killing conditioner so he could miss school.
Trent, however, pays him a visit during school hours and discloses that Mr. G is still upholding their bet regardless of Eddie having lice, and has upped the ante by declaring that if Eddie loses the bet, the entire class would be subject to double homework. Eddie then shows up to the basketball game with lice when there are only six seconds on the clock and succeeds in shooting a basket, granting the class free pizza and no homework. Eddie, now cured of lice, attempts to show off his basketball skills but misses every shot, proving his victory basket to be a fluke, although he claims it was a superpower he received due to the lice treatment.
Eddie is soon notified by his mother that they are getting a pool, much to his excitement, although his excitement ebbs when he realizes it is an above-ground pool, to which Jessica replies that he should be more like Emery, who is calm. However, after cheating during a breath-holding competition, Eddie witnessed Emery flying into an uncharacteristic rage and approaches his father about the topic when he realizes his father isn't putting much stock into the situation. Eddie is then informed by Louis that when he was very young, Emery used to bottle up negative emotions until exploding into a rage, and that he hadn't seen Emery do that in a long time. Eddie then talks to Emery and tells him to express his emotions when they occur freely and to not bottle them up; however, this results in Emery insulting Louis' vest. Eddie later dresses up to go to the pool with Louis and Emery so that the latter can use the water to vent his frustrations, only to discover that the pool has been removed as the HOA voted against it.
After their toaster breaks after Eddie tries to make Pop-Tarts with bagels, Eddie accompanies the rest of the family to the bank so Evan can open his first account, which comes with a free toaster. However, while at the bank, Evan is conflicted on whether to use his American name or 'Chih Fu', his Chinese name. Eddie then listens as his parents explain how they got their names, although Eddie points out that Louis' story was a lie, forcing Louis to tell the truth. Eddie then notifies Evan about street names, citing how Calvin Broadus became Snoop Dogg, and declares that he would name himself Topaz, after his birth stone, when he became a successful mogul, dreaming of a scenario where he enlisted Busta Rhymes to perform on the moon and played golf with Shaquille O'Neal, who was President of the United States. Evan manages to open an account and they receive a toaster, which Eddie carries, but drops it on the floor as soon as they arrive home, breaking it into pieces.
Louis and Eddie play a game at the kitchen table, with Louis proclaiming that he loves spending time with him, although he immediately drops the ruse and cites it to be boring when Evan and Emery locate the television remote. As Louis pays the two for finding the remote, Eddie asks Louis to buy him a watch, which Louis refuses to do so believing Eddie would use it temporarily and discard it. In order to give Eddie a chance to prove his worth, Louis gives his own watch to Eddie to see if he could take care of it for a week. Eddie does so, but takes it off and leaves it on his bed before taking a shower. Seeing the watch on the bed, Louis believes Eddie has just left it out and takes it back, only to lose it himself. Louis and Eddie each enlist the "Huang Boys" (Evan and Emery) to find the watch, and Eddie wakes up at the end of the week to find the watch on his night table. As he walks into the living room, Evan and Emery come in with the identical watch and claim they have found it, and then Jenny herself also wheels into the room with the same watch in hand. It is revealed that Jenny, not liking the fact that Louis had taken the watch from Eddie, took the watch from him; believing he had lost it, Louis purchased a replacement watch and left it in Eddie's room, while Evan and Emery used their own money to buy the same watch to 'solve the case' as they had never failed to solve one before.
Eddie asked Jessica to sign a permission slip for a field trip although she refused, telling him that a field trip was a waste of her taxpayer money and that he should just stay at school and study at the library, which upsets Eddie. However, once Honey informs Jessica that the trip was to Colonial Floridatowne, Jessica agrees to allow Eddie to go, as she loves the Colonial American work ethic, although she tags along as a parent chaperone. Eddie, who is grouped with Walter, Brian, Trent and Dave, believes that Jessica's chaperone will ruin their trip, although to his surprise Jessica becomes "Fun Mom", taking them off the class itinerary and going rogue in order to have fun. Eddie is then upset, as he had believed that Jessica was incapable of having fun and has come to the realization that since Jessica can have fun, she had willingly chosen to be a strict parent.
At home, Jessica explains to Eddie that she cannot be the "Fun Mom" all the time and that "Fun Mom" could not make him do homework and clean his room at the same time. Eddie comes to the realization that he can have fun because his mom does not, and decides to wake up by himself early and get dressed to save his mother some time. Jessica is appreciative of his consideration, although remarking that she can tell he did not shower, and noting that they now have thirty minutes of spare time, decides to play Super Mario Brothers with him before he heads off to school.
With Emery's graduation from elementary school on the horizon, Louis and Jessica decide to host a post-graduation all-you-can-eat chicken dinner at Cattleman's, with their three sons allowed to bring a friend. Eddie states he would invite his girlfriend, Alison, who is performing at Emery's graduation, shocking Jessica as she had no idea Eddie had a girlfriend. Louis tells Jessica that he met Alison and that she's great and Eddie reaffirms this by stating that Jessica would love her, to which Jessica replies by asking Eddie to do the math and check how many people she loves.
Eddie goes to school and sees Nicole and Alison talking and tells them that he is allowed to bring a date to dinner after Emery's graduation. Alison is initially enthusiastic about meeting Jessica until Eddie tells her that Jessica would most likely be disappointed with her as she wanted him to have a Chinese girlfriend. Eddie decides to invite Alison over at the house before graduation so that the two women could better acquainted; however, the guest that arrives is a Chinese girl named Audrey, who masquerades as Alison. Eddie is confused while Jessica is ecstatic, glad that Eddie's girlfriend is Chinese. Eddie then calls Alison, who apologizes and claims she panicked, and reassures Louis and Emery, who had met the real Alison before, that they did not misremember and that the Chinese girl at their house is not Alison.
The next day at school, Eddie speaks with Alison and she once again apologizes, and he tells her that she can come over tonight and he would introduce her properly to Jessica. Eddie suggests that they all watch Malcolm X, telling Alison that Jessica is a big fan of Denzel Washington and that he was saving the movie for when he did something really bad. However, when he arrives home with Alison, he finds Audrey in their kitchen playing Mah-jong with Jessica and Grandma Huang, as Jessica had invited her. Jessica asks who Alison is, and Eddie, panicking, claims that Alison is a Girl Scout who is selling cookies. He then lets the bathroom water run and flees out the bathroom window to head to Alison's house, apologizing for his reaction before heading home, informing Alison that they would all be grounded if the water bill was too high.
At Emery's graduation, Eddie sits next to Jessica and watches as Jessica tries to call out to "Alison", although Audrey doesn't respond. After Emery gives a speech and praises Jessica for wanting what's best for her sons and Eddie for always being honest and speaking his mind, both Eddie and Jessica make a confession to one another, Eddie declaring that the Chinese girl she knows to be Alison is not his girlfriend and Jessica declaring that she does not like "Alison". Eddie explains what the real Alison did and Jessica states that the real Audrey is too perfect, likening her to tofu, soaking everything up while having no flavor of her own, and tells Eddie that he deserves a girlfriend who has a personality like him. Jessica then asks which girl is the real Alison, and Eddie points her out, and Jessica is impressed when she sees that Alison is the first chair for piccolo.
In the aftermath of the graduation, the family plus Alison head to Cattleman's, where Jessica is impressed by Alison, especially when Alison explains that she is so good at piccolo due to constant practice and that she had decided to learn the piccolo due to the various unclaimed piccolo scholarships. Eddie attempts to spend time with Alison, although Jessica tells him to be a gentlemen and get them more chicken and he complies. The Huang family plus Alison later watch Malcolm X at the Huang house, although the three Huang sons flee when Jessica brings up the water bill.
Following the end of their seventh grade year, Eddie and Alison only had a short amount of time to spend together during summer vacation as Alison was going away for band camp. The two planned to watch Chris Rock's Bring the Pain special on HBO. HBO had a free preview running that weekend and Eddie attempted to take advantage of it, although both Evan and Emery prevented him from watching it, with Evan notifying Jessica that it was Rated R. Jessica then replied that Eddie could not watch it, claiming that she had heard about the special on the Nightly News and believed it would instigate a race riot.
The next day, Eddie met up with his friends and Alison, only for them to discuss the show. Eddie told them that he had yet to watch it, which led to Brian suggesting that he set it to record over night when everyone else was asleep. However, Evan and Emery taped over the special with their own homemade video message, much to his surprise. At the same time, Eddie's uncle, Gene Huang, came from Taiwan, which led to Eddie and the rest of the family heading to the airport to meet him as well as dining at a restaurant. Eddie managed to record the special successfully a second time, but after witnessing a fight between Louis and Gene, where he was shocked to discover that Louis had interrupted a "Chinese polite fight", he told Evan and Emery that Jessica had divided them but that he did not wish to become like Louis and Gene, instead asking his brothers to join him. This led to Eddie, Emery and Evan secretly watching the special at night together.
However, shortly after, Louis came into the living room and revealed that Gene had left to Taiwan and had taken his mother with him, and had also disinvited them from the wedding. As a result, Louis declared that they were all going to Taiwan. Eddie and Alison then decided to keep in touch by faxing one another, with Alison deciding to use the Kinko's near her father's place of work. Before leaving for Taiwan, Eddie witnessed Trent burning his usual jacket and asked him what he was doing, and Trent replied that it was a reaction to the Cleveland Browns leaving Cleveland.
Eddie spent most of his time in Taiwan trying to find a fax machine, to no avail. Overseas, he met his extended paternal family, including his cousin Wei, who adopted the English name "Hennessy" after the drink. Eddie initially attempted to befriend Hennessy due to his name but dropped it when his cousin did not share his interests in rap music. While in Taiwan, Eddie enjoyed eating McDonalds and attended his uncle Gene's wedding to Margaret. As they returned home to Orlando, Eddie saw Alison standing outside of his front door, where she told him that "it's over." Eddie panicked, replying that he had tried his best to find a fax machine only for Alison to respond that it was fine and that she had assumed something like that had happened. Confused, Eddie asked her what she meant by "it's over", and Alison presented him with a copy of The Orlando Tribune newspaper, whose front page revealed that Shaquille O'Neal was leaving the Orlando Magic and relocating to the Los Angeles Lakers.
Emery was ecstatic to begin middle school; however, his first day at Abraham Lincoln Middle School was hampered by Eddie, who presented him with a binder filled with the lies he had told the school. Emery discovered that Eddie had been citing Chinese culture to his white teachers in order to make his life better, such as not eating vegetables in the cafeteria due to Chinese bodies being unable to process chlorophyll, getting the first Friday off the month off due to "Harvest Day", taking a nap at 11:00am every day to "check if China is coming for Taiwan", not participating in extracurricular activities, not sitting in the front of the class especially if the teacher is female, and not taking a shower with the other boys. Fed up, Emery eventually outed Eddie's deception to Bogdan Dragomir, a Russian Olympian who was their new Phys. Ed. teacher.
During gym class, Eddie smugly told the other boys to enjoy their shower when Dragomir told him to join them. Realizing Dragomir was new, Eddie attempted to bring up his culture as a reason to skip out on the shower, although his tactic did not work as Emery had told Dragomir the truth. Eddie was then forced to take a shower with his friends, much to each of their nervousness with the sole exception of Trent, who enjoyed it merely because he had three sisters at home and therefore did not get much time to shower.
Back at home, Eddie confronted Emery in his room, after having forced to take a shower in the nude and having glimpsed his friends' anatomies. Emery declared that he no longer wished to carry on Eddie's lies, only for Eddie to state that his first day was horrible and that his actions made Emery's first day better. Emery responded that his first day was horrible as all he wanted to do was to learn, join clubs such as karate and violin, and eat his green beans, but that it was ruined by Eddie. However, Eddie retorted that white people were ignorant of them and where they came from, citing that he had been blazing trails and breaking chains by shattering Asian stereotypes, and feared that Emery, with his karate gi and his violin and his eagerness to learn, would undo the work he had done and would set them back.
Eddie then went outside to play basketball, although he was interrupted by Evan, who angrily berating him for his actions, stating that Emery had spent just one day with him and that he ruined Emery's day so badly he couldn't even bring himself to thank the maid. Eddie, confused that they had a maid, attempted to justify his actions by declaring that he was blazing trails and breaking chains, to which Evan responded that all he had broken was Emery's spirit. Evan added that Emery was not like Eddie and that Eddie should not make Emery feel ashamed to be who he is, which had a profound effect on Eddie.
Emery went to school the next day and solemnly looked at the extracurriculars board when he was shocked to see his name listed on the karate sign-up sheet. Emery then spotted Eddie and, realizing his older brother had signed him up, asking him why he would that, citing that he didn't want to embarrass Eddie. Eddie, however, told Emery that what he thought shouldn't matter to Emery and that Emery should just be himself. Eddie then asked Emery if they could at least keep Harvest Day as a lie, and Emery reluctantly agreed so long as he didn't miss any tests, although Eddie responded citing that it wasn't up to them but to the moon, and the two brothers shared a laugh as they walked away together.
As Halloween was approaching, Eddie and his friends were thinking of the ideal routes to take while trick-or-treating to ensure maximum candy intake. Eddie was telling his friends that they had only had a few years left to trick-or-treat; but at that moment, Nicole encountered them and invited them to her party, and Eddie dropped the idea in favor of attending a high-school party as middle-schoolers. Eddie went home to ask his parents for permission, and while Jessica refused, Louis intervened, citing that since Jessica did not celebrate Halloween she did not get a say, and granted Eddie permission. Eddie and his friends went to Nicole's house only to find Nicole and her three friends as the sole occupants. Nicole revealed that another girl was throwing a successful party and that's where her invitees were, and her friends left to go to that party. To make matters worse, Eddie's friends decided to go trick-or-treating, leaving just Eddie and Nicole. Using rap videos as inspiration, Eddie and Nicole threw their own party to entice people into coming, although they received a noise complaint and were visited by the police.
Since they were minors and no adults were in the house, Nicole and Eddie were brought to the police station where their parents were to pick them up. Since Eddie's family had come to claim him, they had missed out on trick-or-treating. Realizing that Halloween was a big deal for her family, Jessica woke the family up early on November 1st to go trick-or-treating, waking Eddie up by using a fan to waft the smell of bacon in his face. The family failed to exact treats as Halloween was over, and paid a visit to Honey's house, where she invited them in. Nicole then thanked Eddie for his actions, revealing that the police's arrival caused rumors to swirl that she had an amazing party with numerous guests that the police had to come shut it down. The pair then noticed Dave profusely apologizing for abandoning them, and Eddie told Nicole that he was going to let Dave sweat for a while before entering Nicole's house.
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The Huangs, along with Marvin and Honey, have gathered around the television to watch the 1999 FIFA Women's World Cup. Honey is feeding Maria while Marvin groans about the game. Honey has also given birth to her second child, a daughter named Liza, who sleeps. Louis announces that while he would forget about the game in 24 hours, this is his current focus, with him, Eddie, and Evan wearing USA jerseys to support their country while Jessica wears a jersey representing China. Emery, unable to choose whether to represent his native ancestral home or his country, wears half of both jerseys. The game concludes 45 minutes after going into overtime when Brandi Chastain successfully shoots a penalty goal against China, granting the United States team the victory. However, when Chastain gets on his knees and rips off her jersey in victory, the sight of her in her sports bra causes Evan to gain an erection, forcing him to flee from the room immediately.
The next day, Louis walks in with a copy of Orlando Tribune, with the headlines discussing the US World Cup victory and with a photo of Chastain in her sports bra. The picture arouses Evan once more, who flees from the kitchen. Louis observes Evan's unusual mannerism, and Eddie realizes what has transpired, informing Louis, Honey and Jessica that Evan has received the first case of the "tingles." He then clarifies to the confused adults that he is referring to an erection, prompting Honey to excuse herself and leave the house while Louis decides it's time to give Evan "The Talk." Jessica bids him luck, citing that everything waist-down with their sons was his responsibility.
Eddie retreats to his room and lies on his bed, listening to music, when he is interrupted by Louis. Louis asks Eddie if he still has his "Flowers and Watering Cans" school-approved sexual education book that Principal Hunter had given him years ago. Eddie, realizing that Louis intends to give Evan the same "talk" that he received, where Louis spoke frankly about sexual positions, diseases and practices, notifies his father that he cannot relay this to Evan without it affecting him negatively. Eddie then suggests that he give Evan "The Talk", claiming to be Evan's father-figure; Louis finds this insulting and retorts that he is Evan's father-figure and that Eddie is barely a son figure, before apologizing for his comments and retreating, ensuring Eddie that it was his responsibility to talk to Evan and that he would see it through.
Eddie is watching television when he sees someone walk by with a backpack; assuming it to be one of his brothers, he calls the passing figure a nerd, before realizing that it is none other than Louis. Louis states that the backpack contains props for his talk with Evan, including a shell with hair painted on it to signify female anatomy. Eddie tells his father that this would most likely confuse Evan, although Louis is confident in his approach. He then enters Evan's room to talk to him, but finds himself unable to discuss "The Talk" when he sees Evan, sitting on his bed with his Beanie Babies, referring to him as "Papa" and blinking earnestly up at him. He relays his failure to Eddie, who assertively declares that he would fare better, but finds himself in the same situation as Louis, deeming Evan and his toys too adorable and innocent.
Louis and Eddie regroup on the couch, lamenting in their failure. Eddie suggests that perhaps the two should team up and deliver "The Talk" together; while Louis agrees, the two still find themselves unable to discuss the matter with Evan, prompting them to go out for burgers, citing that they cannot do it without an empty stomach, and decide that they should spend the rest of the night watching movies.
At Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, Louis and Eddie relay a transcript of their "Talk" to Mervin Ellis, Marvin, and Trent Masterson, with Louis discussing circumcision and Eddie explaining what "bases" refer to. Trent chimes in that he is grateful he received "The Talk" from his sisters as he was confused after hearing Louis and Eddie's "Talk", and Louis realizes that perhaps they need a woman's perspective.
Eddie and Louis return home and head to Jenny's room, where she gives them her version of "The Talk", including explaining how to pleasure a woman emotionally and sexually, even adding sound effects. While Louis is uncomfortable, Eddie laments that he should have taken notes. The two Huang men then state that perhaps Evan is too young for "The Talk" and decide to put it off for a while until Evan enters the room, asking his grandmother if he can store his Beanie Babies in her room as he wishes to have privacy in his room. Eddie and Louis immediately yell at the other to give him "The Talk", prompting Jenny to reply that she would do it, much to the loud opposition of Eddie and Louis. Jenny then informs Evan that Eddie and Louis wish to talk to him, but tell them not to do it in her room, citing that she has already had too much "family time" for the day.
Louis and Eddie successfully manage to give Evan "The Talk" in his room, only for Evan to reveal that he already knows everything they told him. He explains that upon receiving "a tingle" he went to the library to study up on the changes happening to his body, and discloses that while Eddie is a year away from reaching his sexual peak, Louis had reached an age where his genitals would begin to fail. Louis tells Evan that Evan can always come to both of them if he needs to, and Evan, agreeing, responds that alternatively they could speak with him as well.
At home, Eddie is regaling tales to his family, imagining the Y2K situation to be similar to the movie The Matrix, placing himself as Neo and Louis as Morpheus. Louis states that Y2K would not be like that, while Emery believes that the world truly may end as a result of the Millennium Bug. As a result, Eddie states that they should do as much as possible during summer vacation as it may be the last summer of their lives. However, his plans are dashed by Jessica, who enters the room with a stack of PSAT books and tells Eddie that he will study them alongside her in preparation for college. Eddie then imagines his mother to be like Agent Smith, attempting to defeat him with PSAT books before successfully defeating him.
As he is studying alongside his mother, Eddie complains, prompting Jessica to reply that it is not just his future at stake but her reputation, explaining that she wouldn't be respected as a principal if she failed to get her own son into a top college. Eddie is taken aback at her statement, claiming that he doesn't want to go to a top college, instead preferring to go to a Tier 2 or Tier 3 school, where there is less pressure and more fun and he could rejuvenate from the stresses of high school. Just then, Louis walks in, demanding Eddie what he has done to the bathroom tub. Eddie explains that it is Gia, his mega water balloon that he has inflated with water and left in the tub, intending to leave her there before he can get strong enough to throw her. Jessica scoffs at his ambition and tells him that he needs to grow up and focus on college. Louis tells Eddie that he is jealous of him going to college, claiming that he was a campus legend during his college days before suggesting that Eddie attend the University of Maryland, the school both he and Jessica went to. However, Jessica tells them that Maryland is not on her list, and Eddie leaves once he realizes he has no say in his future.
At Cattleman's, Trent is regaling Eddie with the tale of going to Ball State University with his family to visit his sister at her dorm. This impresses Eddie, who wishes he could go somewhere during summer vacation, and inspires Louis to take the Huang family on a trip to visit college. Eddie reminds Louis that Jessica would not approve of a vacation and that even if they went, she would be enforcing him to study all of the PSAT books. Louis, however, reminds Eddie that Connie is Jessica's weakness.
The pair return home, where Evan and Emery are in their work uniforms, having gained employment at a yogurt shop. Louis informs the family that they would be taking a trip to California to a pay a visit to UCLA, which Jessica initially shuts down due to financial reasons and Emery and Evan adding that they cannot go as they just got jobs. Louis tells them to just use their sick and vacation days and notifies Jessica that his brother, Gene Huang, has gotten them free airline tickets to California as he works for Delta Airlines and that they would not have to spend money on a hotel since they would be staying with Justin at his dorm. Louis then adds that if Eddie paid a visit to UCLA and then turned it down for Harvard, Jessica could then rub it in Connie's face, which causes Jessica to immediately notify the family to pack their bags.
The Huangs arrive in California, with Louis, Jessica and Eddie heading to the dorms to pay Justin a visit. Jessica is absent-mindedly flipping a Solo cup when Louis catches her and remarks that her old habits are returning, causing her to smile. Louis then asks Justin what the plan for the day is, and he responds that he has a midterm later that day and intends to study. Jessica scoffs at him, claiming that the midterm could not be that difficult at Eddie's "safety school", only for Justin to reveal that he had a 4.0 GPA, good SAT score and even had a rare sit-down with the Dean of Admissions and still got wait-listed. Just then, Justin's roommate Kip enters the room. Justin notifies Kip that the Huangs would be staying with them, although Kip responds that he doesn't care since he has flunked out, explaining that despite taking AP classes, being valedictorian and attending prep school, he would still be returning to work at his father's butcher shop.
Jessica then realizes that UCLA is a prestigious school, likening it to the "Harvard of California" and changes their itinerary so that Eddie could attend lectures and tour the campus, even going as far as calling Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and having him recommend the Dean into having a one-on-one with Eddie. During the tour, Eddie is excited at the prospect of going to a party but is shut down on Jessica, who forces him to memorize everything the tour guide is saying so that he may impress the Dean later. Eddie then walks away without his parents realizing.
Jessica and Louis later make their way to the Dean's office, waiting for Eddie. Eddie then shows up, revealing that he left the tour group before hearing Louis disclose Jessica's past, instead electing to find Justin to see what kids his age did for fun. Upon hanging out with Justin's friends, who just watched television and took naps, Eddie declares that college is too lame and boring and that he would not be attending. The Dean then declares that personally he is disappointed, and Louis admonishes him, as he had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's recommendation for the school. Shrugging, Eddie leaves the office.
Eddie returns to the dorm to eat dry ramen with Kip when Jessica enters, telling Eddie that she used to be a 'madwoman' in college. Taking him aside, she divulges her college past to him, including a time when she shaved off all of her hair on a dare. Eddie is boggled that his mother used to be wild, and asks her why she kept her past hidden from him. Jessica replies that it was because she knew that Eddie's qualities came from her and wasn't proud of it, adding that had she focused on college the first time around, perhaps she wouldn't be repeating it, and therefore does not want Eddie to do the same. Eddie responds that to him, Jessica's route seemed more ideal, as she enjoyed her time in college, got married, had a family, had multiple careers and continued to push herself. Jessica iterates that she does not regret her past, but does not want Eddie to do the same, admitting that she is a hypocrite, although Eddie states that she isn't a hypocrite so much as she is cocky, thinking that he could not handle it like she did. Jessica affirms this, citing that she is battle-tested, with Eddie retorting that he was as well, as he had one thing she did not – her for a mother. Smiling, Jessica proudly states that Eddie's quality of calling it as he sees it came from her. She then teaches him what to do with the inflated water balloon she filled with shaving cream, having given Eddie a tip that using shaving cream was more beneficial than water as it allowed the person to easily lift and throw the balloon.
Jessica and Eddie wait for Louis to walk down below before throwing the water balloon with shaving cream on top of him, drenching him. As Louis gets dried and the trio walk back, Eddie remarks that, after getting a taste of what his mother was like in college, he wonders how his father was. Louis tells him that he cannot disclose his college actions as they would be 'Rated R', which Jessica laughs at, reminding him that he was the one who said they needed to be open about their past to their children. Jessica tells Eddie that Louis was a club guy, having joined all the clubs, and a flashback is shown with Louis pruning shrubs in the Topiary Club while Jessica slid down the steps in her stolen canoe. With his ego bruised, Louis responds that he had lots of sex in college, which Jessica denies, and Eddie, laughing the entire time with Jessica, tells the two that he has heard enough.
Marvin has decided to retire from dentistry and is given a retirement party at Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, with his friend from the Navy, Clyde Roses, in attendance. Clyde owns a scrapyard and gives his business card to Eddie, who wishes to purchase a spoiler for the Cattleman's station wagon. Honey gifts Marvin with a flagpole he wanted, which prompts Jenny to state that she too is now retiring, much to the confusion of her family, who wonder what she would be retiring from. The next day at breakfast, the family discuss Jenny's retirement. They witness as Jenny gives Louis a list of things she wants as a retirement gift, although Louis decides to throw her a retirement party instead.
Eddie and Emery retreat to Emery's bedroom, where they playfully slap the other's hands for fun. Evan enters the room and notifies his brothers that, while at Marvin's retirement party, he overheard Marvin gossiping about his patients and revealing their secrets. Evan reveals that a month ago, while undergoing a dental procedure, he admitted something to Marvin and his assistant Queenie, and that while he cannot remember what it is he told them, Marvin did say he would keep his mouth shut due to Dentist-Patient confidentiality. However, with Marvin having retired, the confidentiality agreement no longer exists. Eddie attempts to dismiss Evan's worries, citing that none of Evan's secrets are major, until Evan reveals that the dental procedure happened the day after the boys had met "Reggie", prompting Eddie and Emery to become fearful.
At Jenny's retirement party, Eddie, Emery and Evan overhearing Marvin mentioning Carol-Joan's lip injections out loud, and they realize he really will spill their secret. Returning home after the party, the three boys sit around the kitchen table. The "Reggie secret" they wish to hide from their parents is that they had taken a trip across state lines without permission to visit Reginald VelJohnson, and read his memoir at the Georgia Tech Student Union. Eddie believes that since Evan was the one who informed Marvin, he should be the one who informs their parents and takes sole responsibility, with Evan countering that he would not do so since they weren't certain whether he told Marvin about the trip or not. Eddie then decides that they need to get leverage on Marvin by finding out a secret of his own, and that their best chance to do so would be by paying Clyde Roses a visit.
At Clyde's scrapyard, Eddie, Emery and Evan attempt to pry secrets out of Clyde by asking about stories. Clyde initially attempts to talk about them, but cannot bring himself to tell the stories as they involve women and he deems the boys too young to hear about it. Eventually, Clyde tells them that Marvin is like his brother and that he would not disclose his secrets.
Eddie, Emery and Evan decide to pay a visit to Queenie, Marvin's assistant, to find out what Evan said under the effects of the gas. She reveals that Evan did not reveal any secrets and only said things in a funny manner, but reveals that Eddie, who had a similar dental procedure done shortly after Evan, did in fact reveal that he and his brothers took a drive to Georgia to see Reginald VelJohnson.
The trio then head to Marvin's house and ask him not to reveal their secret trip across state lines to Georgia, but he admits that he is a chatterbox and cannot keep secrets. This confuses Evan, who reminds him that he served in the US Navy and should be able to keep secrets, although Marvin rationalizes that Navy men can keep secrets on the ocean but not on land. Hanging their heads in defeat, the three boys prepare to leave, and Evan tells Marvin that Queenie sends her regards. Marvin interprets this as a threat and asks them if they've spoken to Queenie and if she has told them about "Angela."
The Huang boys reply that Queenie did not tell them, but interpret "Angela" as being a woman that Marvin is cheating on Honey with. Marvin then explains that Angela is the name of a boat he secretly bought that Honey disapproved of, and explains the boat he had just "bought" for his retirement was the same boat that he had simply given a wax job. The Huang boys then broker a deal with Marvin in which they'd keep each others' secrets, and Marvin agrees. Later that night, the Huang family don their bathing suits and use the hot tub, now installed in Jenny's room, to perform a silent synchronized dance while Jenny sleeps, being careful not to wake her up.
At school, Eddie and Tina Masterson discuss their six months of being in a relationship. Trent mentions that Louis loves Tina, prompting Dave Selby to ask what Jessica thinks. Eddie replies that Jessica hasn't met Tina and that he doesn't want them to meet, citing that they are both strong women with strong personalities and that he fears his mother would ruin his relationship.
The next morning at breakfast, Louis mentions the love between Eddie and Tina at breakfast, causing Jessica to point out the word "love"; while she was aware he was in a relationship, she did not know it had progressed to love. Eddie attempts to deflect the situation by asking Evan and Jenny if they are doing anything, and Evan responds that he and his grandmother have decided to take up meditation. Eddie then asks Louis what he is up to, and Louis reveals that he is designing new napkins for the restaurant.
After school, Tina suggests that they study at Eddie's house instead of her own, and Eddie replies that they cannot since the house is being fumigated. Tina responds that Eddie had said the same thing the week before and that she wished to meet his mother, although Eddie informs her that she met Louis and Jessica was just Louis with longer hair. Tina realizes that Eddie does not want her to meet Jessica and asks why, prompting Eddie to lie that he does want them to meet but that they cannot since Jessica is out of town indefinitely. Just then, Jessica calls out to Eddie, having decided to pick up Eddie from school, prompting Eddie to bid Tina a haste farewell before rushing to the family minivan.
Tina then pays an impromptu visit to the Huang house, coming face-to-face with Jessica and, introducing herself as Eddie's boyfriend, announces her intent to get to know Jessica better. Eddie stumbles onto their meeting and panics, hastily introducing the two before trying to get Tina to go to a movie with him. Instead, the two women decide to spend time with each other, informing Eddie that his presence is not required, and Eddie leaves. After failing to eavesdrop from the window, Eddie runs into the garage and interrupts Evan and Jenny's meditation to notify them of Tina and Jessica being together in the same room, fearful of an argument. Listening through an air vent at Jenny's suggestion, Eddie hears a slap and rushes into the kitchen, thinking it has escalated into a physical bout. However, he discovers that his girlfriend and his mother have become friends, realizing their common personalities, and that the sound he heard was simply their high-five.
Eddie is forced to study in his room alongside Tina and Jessica, who criticize Eddie's study habits gleefully, much to Eddie's annoyance. Eddie is trying to study when he overhears his mother discuss her first kiss to Tina, and covers his ears as she describes it. He huffs that he is trying to study and is shocked at that statement coming from his mouth, and believes that he needs a break. He invites Tina for a milkshake, only for Tina to invite Jessica as well. During the car ride, Tina discusses increasing Eddie's course load for his senior year and the two women praise each other, further irritating Eddie.
The next day at school, Tina continues to talk about Jessica to Eddie. As Eddie regroups with his friends, he discusses his relationship strain and comes to the realization that since he finds his mother and girlfriend being friends worse than if they hated each other, he would have to break them up. Eddie returns home and has Evan wheel in Jenny, intending to have her play music, although Jenny is asleep. Upset as he thought she was meditating, Evan pushes the button himself, playing Amy Grant's music.
Eddie then exclaims that Tina hates Amy Grant, whom Jessica loves, and asks Jessica if she is going to just take being told she is tasteless by a high school girl. The two women are confused as they haven't said a thing, but Tina points out to Jessica that Eddie, with a subtlety of an elephant, is attempting to cause friction between them to split them up. Angry, Tina asks Eddie what is wrong with him, citing that first he didn't want her and Jessica to meet out of fear they wouldn't get along, only to try and divide them once they did.
As Tina heads to the kitchen, Jessica asks Eddie why he didn't want them to meet, and he reveals it was because he feared Jessica would ruin his relationship, only to do so himself. Jessica tells Eddie that she only made the effort to get closer to Tina because she knew how much Eddie liked her; when Eddie asks how she could have known that when he never spoke to her about Tina, Jessica replies that his decision to not tell her about Tina is precisely how she knew he cared about her.
Jessica notifies Eddie that she reckons he likes Tina because she is similar to her, and adds that another thing they have in common is that they care about Eddie. She then tells Eddie to go make up with Tina, but not before making him promise never to weaponize Amy Grant again. Eddie heads to the kitchen where Tina is packing up her things. He apologizes to her, believing they would be breaking up, although Tina adds that if she were to break up every time he did something stupid, they would never have lasted. Tina tells him that she too had only warmed up to Jessica because she was his mother and she wanted them to get along, and the two make amends.
On Halloween, Eddie walks in through the front door and Emery asks him if he has any plans for the holiday. Eddie responds that he is too old to celebrate Halloween but bids his brothers luck on their plans, advising them not to do drugs, and heads to his room. Emery and Evan head to Eddie's room to convince him to join them, stating that neighborhoods give out much bigger candy now. Eddie considers it but declines, stating that he would just stay home and eat whatever leftover candy Louis bought that he didn't hand out. However, Emery and Evan mention that Jessica bought the 'candy' this year and that she bought raisins, Eddie decides to join them trick-or-treating, deciding to use Jenny's sleeping bag as his candy bag. He attempts to blow dry the smell out of the sleeping bag, although he finds the endeavor fruitless.
Eddie heads to his bedroom only to find Emery and Evan inside, dressed as Snoopy and a doctor respectively. Wearing a gold chain and holding a boombox, Emery declares that he is "Snoopy Dogg" while Evan stated that he is "renowned physician Dr. Dre", and Emery tells Eddie that he can be "Iced Tea." Eddie corrects him, telling him that it is "Ice-T", and wants to know what his brothers are up to, mentioning that he was not kidding when he told them to abstain from drugs.
Emery states that he wants to do a brothers costume, which Evan refers to as a threesome, and Eddie, telling Evan not to use that word again, tells his brothers that he would be down to doing a collaborative costume with them. Evan wonders who they could go as since the stores are closed and it's already Halloween, and Eddie states that he would think of something on the fly. When Emery mimics him, Eddie praises him and suggests that they dress up as each other for Halloween.
Eddie dresses up as Evan, only for Emery to enter the room dressed as Evan as well. Emery berates Eddie, telling Eddie that he was supposed to be Emery. Just then, Evan walks in, confused as he notices his brothers dressed like him. Eddie asks Evan who Evan is supposed to be, and Evan explains that he was dressing up as Eddie but changed back to his original clothes, thinking that Emery was not dressing up as one of them and therefore would feel left out. Eddie and Emery assure him that they are fine with it, and Eddie tells Evan to change into "Eddie" while he changes into "Emery"; however, Evan states that he thinks three "Evan's" would be cute and suggests that he go as himself for Halloween while Eddie and Emery both go as him as well, and they agree.
Eddie, Emery and Evan head next door, where Marvin and Honey are on the porch giving out candy to trick-or-treaters, Marvin dressed as an angel while Honey is dressed as Buffy Summers. Marvin asks who the boys are supposed to be dressed as, and when Evan answers him with Eddie and Emery imitating Evan, Honey correctly deduces that all three of them are Evan. Eddie and Emery then make fun of Evan, Eddie mentioning that Evan's waistline goes to his nipple line and that "Mommy" would love three Evan's, which upsets Evan. However, when Eddie adds that Evan discovered sports through Brandi Chastain and Emery clarifies that by "sports" he means anatomy, referring to Evan gaining his first erection when he saw Brandi Chastain, Evan becomes humiliated and insulted. Admonishing his brothers for ruining Halloween, he storms off. Emery mocks his walk until Eddie stops him, telling him that the joke is over.
Eddie and Emery return home, where Jenny is dressed as Eric Cartman from South Park. Jenny tells them that Evan is his room and admonishes them for mocking them, referring to Eddie as "goofy" and telling Emery that he has fragile hands. As Eddie tells Emery that they need to make up with Evan, Jenny begins to quote Cartman, whom she stated she liked because he was always noticed when Kenny was killed. Eddie and Emery, dressing as each other, go into Evan's room and apologize. Evan smiles at their impersonations of each other and tells them that he overreacted, and apologizes to his older brothers for ruining Halloween.
Eddie then tells Evan that he did not ruin Halloween, and that a perk of being older is that they can celebrate Halloween and go out trick-or-treating much later than they previously could. Emery then wonders who they would even dress as, and Evan brings up the photo of the three of them dressed up as "The Three Amigos." Eddie, Emery and Evan don their outfits as the Three Amigos, but Eddie and Emery have outgrown the outfits, with it being a little tight on Emery while Eddie's midriff is exposed. Evan walks in, claiming that his outfit still fits. The brothers then strike a pose only for a ripping noise to be heard. Eddie then tells his brothers that he ripped something but isn't sure what it was, and asks his brothers to look away.
Eddie and Trent are handling the shipment of food delivered to Cattleman's, discussing the newfound responsibility that has been thrust upon them, with Trent believing he may even get a promotion. Just then, Louis walks in to check what food has been delivered to them, only to find that all the boxes are filled with nuts. The three ponder on what kind of nuts they have been given when the delivery man divulges that they are chestnuts. When Louis asks the man how he knows that, the man replies that it is because he is a 'chestnut', revealing himself to be none other than Matthew Chestnut.
Chestnut apologizes for leaving Louis, but asks to come back. Trent is confused as to who Chestnut is, and Eddie explains to him that Chestnut was Louis' right-hand man before he left to manage restaurant vendors at Dollywood. While Louis initially seems to be angry at Chestnut, facing off against him, he agrees to bring Chestnut back as his partner, reinstating him as a manager. Chestnut then informs them that he left all of their onions in the parking lot under the sun in order to do his chestnut bit, and Louis orders Eddie and Trent to retrieve them, much to Trent's chagrin, who claims that his chances of being promoted to manager are over.
Eddie returns home and complains about Chestnut's return to Jessica, only to be surprised when Jessica tells him to sit down and that she would love to hear about his problems. She explains that it is a technique known as LIEing, LIE standing for Listen, Identify, Encourage, that she read about in her Teacher Administration book. She listens to Eddie's problem about Chestnut returning to Cattleman's, identifies that he's upset when Eddie says that Chestnut is bossy, and 'encourages' him to suck it up when he states that Chestnut's rule about delivery personnel not allowed to eat ketchup or mayo packets is unfair.
At Cattleman's, Louis is holding an employees meeting where he discourages hiding rubber snakes in the fire extinguisher, despite being the culprit responsible. When Chestnut cites that Louis owning up to his mistake makes him a good leader, Trent makes a snide remark about Chestnut being "up Louis' ass." Eddie suggests that they implement a suggestions box so that employees can anonymously share ideas, which Louis initially considers until Chestnut states that back in Dollywood, Dolly Parton did not have a suggestion box as she had two ears to hear any suggestions. Louis then shuts down the idea, informing his staff that they can talk directly to Chestnut regarding any questions or concerns. Louis then dismisses them so that he could go home and work on his garden, and Chestnut walks away with him to discuss the garden.
Eddie is reading Dolly Parton's biography in the kitchen at home when Jessica enters. Eddie explains that he is reading the biography so that he could get ahead of all of Dolly's sweet sayings that Chestnut says, having reluctantly accepted that Chestnut would be staying in. Just then, Louis enters the house and Jessica commends him for deciding to garden in a suit like a rich man. Louis, however, tells her that he will not be gardening since Chestnut convinced him not to and instead retain his focus on the restaurant.
As a result, Jessica teams up with Eddie and Trent, using Jenny's old room as a "war room" to discuss how to take down Chestnut. Since she told Louis that she would support him 100%, she cannot talk to Louis directly and instead decides to conspire with the boys to get Chestnut to leave, citing that he once left for Dollywood and may once again leave if the right offer comes his way. Jessica, Eddie and Trent head to Cattleman's, with the boys sitting at a corner table while Jessica alerts Chestnut to Eddie and Trent's suspicious behavior.
Chestnut approaches the duo, who unconvincingly try to hide an application form to a Tony Roma's restaurant, one that has full benefits including dental. Chestnut asks who the manager is, and Eddie, panicking, tells him that his name is Donny Worthington. As Chestnut walks away with the fake application, Eddie gleefully announces that he 'totally fell for it', while Trent claims he remembers nothing as he was entirely in character.
Jessica, Eddie and Trent are toasting their assumed victory with lemonade when Louis enters, upset about not being able to trust anymore. Jessica assures him that he had no idea Chestnut would abandon him once more, but Louis reveals that Chestnut did not; instead, Chestnut informed him of a fake application Eddie and Trent gave him to lure him away, with the manager being "Donny Worthington", the name of the author of Jessica's Teacher Administration Book. Eddie apologizes to Jessica, citing that he panicked and that she never addressed a manager's name during rehearsal, revealing to Louis that Jessica was involved. Trent then excuses himself and Eddie to retreat to the latter's bedroom to allow Jessica and Louis to argue privately.
Next door, Eddie is pouring orange soda in beer steins as practice for Cattleman's new beer garden, and both he and Jessica decide to pin the blame on Trent for their actions. They then notice Jenny at the kitchen table, eating freshly grown tomatoes. Jessica asks her where she got the tomatoes from, and Jenny replies that she got them from Louis' garden. Jessica states that Louis did not go through with the garden idea due to Chestnut, but Jenny reveals that Louis still went through with the garden idea by outsourcing the task of growing and tending to the fruits and vegetables to her.
As Cattleman's beer garden, dubbed Cattlehaus Biergarten, officially launches, Trent tells Eddie that Chestnut is growing on him. Chestnut, working the beer taps with Louis, then approaches the boys carrying multiple beer steins. Eddie, in surprise, asks Chestnut how he can carry so many at the same time, having struggled with the weight of two steins himself, and Chestnut mirthlessly retorts that he built up his arm strength crawling out of Louis' ass, hearkening back to Trent's comment during the employee meeting. The boys then dress up to dance to Bavarian folk music on stage.
One morning, Eddie prepares breakfast for his mother and wishes her a good morning in Mandarin. Realizing that the unprompted Mandarin means that he wants something from her, Jessica asks him and he replies that he would like to skip a half day of school in order to get an autograph from his new favorite basketball player, Allen Iverson. Jessica refuses, telling him that he was not allowed to leave school early under any circumstances, stating that even if there was a fire at school, he was to stay inside and die with honor.
Eddie then asks Louis to chime in, and while Louis states that he should run if there's a fire, he tells Eddie that he is siding with Jessica and is against him skipping school. As Louis heads out, Eddie proclaims that Jessica is being unfair; Jessica replies that what is truly unfair is Peter Sampras and Denzel Washington having to wear a shirt and her having to complete an academic practicum, explaining that a practicum involves her shadowing a teacher at a school for 100 hours. Storming off, Eddie complain about he's trying to get an autograph while they're discussing practicum.
Eddie is practicing throwing paper balls into his waste basket when Louis enters his room with a gift. Apologizing for not allowing him to skip school but wishing to congratulate Eddie on the hard work he has doing to prep for college, Louis presents with an Allen Iverson jersey he purchased from the bargain bin. Accepting the jersey in gratitude, Eddie tells Louis that he has a plan to cover tuition costs by applying for basketball scholarships, only for Louis to shut him down.
Louis informs him that he is unlikely to receive one and that even if he did, it would be on a third-tier Euro league where he would've been accepted as an Asian curiosity. As Eddie replies that he doesn't want that, Louis reminds him that he has a great personality and imagination, and that along with his intelligence, there would be other scholarships for him out there. As he thanks his father for the kind words, Eddie notices that the name on the jersey is spelled "Iversqn" and that it is a fake.
Heading into the living room, Eddie tells Louis that he has decided to apply for "The Wesley Snipes Scholarship for Orlando Youth," which requires him to write an essay on his hero. Louis asks who his hero is, and Eddie responds that it was an obvious choice – someone who has really impacted his life, embodies the American dream, who came from nothing, has a tireless work ethic, and amazing hair. Louis, thinking Eddie is referring to him, open his arms for a hug when Eddie reveals that the hero has has chosen is none other than Allen Iverson, to Louis' disappointment.
Louis and Marvin are enjoying lunch at Cattleman's when Eddie enters, telling them that he delivered ten meals in under two hours, and asks to take the afternoon off so that he can work on his hero essay. Louis attempts to suggest that he write about another hero closer to home, although Eddie interprets that by thinking Louis is referring to Marvin, whom he thanks for his military service. As Marvin tells Eddie that the best way to thank him would be to enlist, which he shrugs off, Louis clarifies that he was thinking of someone even closer to home, someone he's known since birth, only for Eddie to think he is referring to Jessica. Informing his father that he already wrote an essay about her for Mother's Day, he announces that he will stick to Allen Iverson and heads back home.
Sometime later, in an attempt to have Eddie view him as his hero, Louis pulls Eddie out of school for the day. Eddie initially is fearful that they are moving suddenly, only for Louis to assuage his fears and reveal that he's taking him to get Allen Iverson's autograph. However, while on the road, Louis feigns a vehicular breakdown so that he can 'fix' the van and further cement his status as a hero in Eddie's eyes. Eddie offers to help him fix the issue, but Louis tells him that he has it handled and asks him to play the cassette in the stereo, which contains nothing but "Holding Out for a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler.
While dancing to the song, Louis flings a screwdriver under the van's hood, striking something that causes fumes to emit, much to his horror. Eddie tells Louis that they're running out of time for the autograph signing, and Louis replies that the van's flux capacitor needs fixing and that it would take him a minute. Eddie then gets out of the van and informs his father that 'flux capacitor' is from Back to the Future, adding that he thought Louis said he knew what he was doing. Louis then admits that he doesn't know what he's doing, and that he pretended the van broke down only to break it for real. Eddie asks him why he would pretend the van broke down, and when Louis replies that it was so that he could 'fix' it and become Eddie's hero, Eddie responds that he would no longer get to meet Allen Iverson due to his antics; as he walks off, he mutters "Some hero you are."
Eddie is in his room listening to music on his headphones when Louis enters, informing him that Marvin has agreed to fix the van after he jammed a screwdriver in it. Eddie sarcastically calls Louis a hero and remarks that he "saved the day again," and Louis admits that he freaked out when Eddie chose Allen Iverson as his hero over him and that he didn't want them to grow apart. Eddie then tells Louis that it's ridiculous to think that, stating that Louis has always been there for him, having taught him how to drive, given him his first job, and helped him to deal with his women problems.
He adds that Louis has nothing to worry about and that while Allen Iverson is awesome, as his dad, Louis is more than a hero, and that he would always need his father and that they would never grow apart. Louis becomes emotional upon hearing this and Eddie asks if his father would like a hug, and the two share a hug. Louis then tells Eddie that he has an idea and tells him to grab his "Iversqn" jersey.
Louis and Eddie head to an arena, where Louis tricks a security guard before sneaking on to a Philadelphia 76ers bus in an attempt to get Allen Iverson to sign Eddie's "Iversqn" jersey. While Iverson refuses to do as it is a fake, he gives his own game worn jersey to Louis and autographs it. While Eddie relishes being given an official signed jersey worn by Iverson himself, Louis is permanently banned from all NBA events as a result and is escorted off the property by the guard he tricked.
At some point, Eddie submits an audition tape for a basketball scholarship which contains footage of Eddie trying, and failing, to perform various basketball moves, playing with Jenny, and having her record him give moral support on the bench. He then throws a ball into the net and misses, but edits in a shot of the ball going in.
As the Thanksgiving season approaches, Eddie and his brothers head to the grocery store to witness a turkey fight. Returning home in smiles, Jessica asks them why they are laughing, and they tell her that they had gone to the grocery store to watch people fight over Thanksgiving turkeys. This upsets Jessica, as "Turkey Tango" was something they attended together and the boys had gone without her.
As Eddie, Emery and Evan put on their shoes to head out to the newly built piazza, Jessica interrupts them, wanting them to spend one hour of concentrated family fun time with a chore wheel, where she observes the boys doing chores. The boys refuse, informing Jessica that they wish to attend the piazza's ribbon-cutting ceremony with Evan adding that Marvin would be teaching them bocce since Carol-Joan is diving into the Italian theme, and they leave the house.
Jessica discovers that a grocery store in Sanford has just received turkeys and tries to invite her sons to go witness a 'turkey tango' only to see that the three boys are dressed in European garb, with Eddie sporting a toga. With Emery and Evan stating that they've gotten the bocce bug, Jessica wonders how spending time at the piazza is more fun than spending time with their mother.
Noticing their neighbors having fun outside, the three try to leave when Jessica intercepts them, claiming that the piazza is racist towards them as they are Asians and suddenly the neighborhood needs a median to solve driving issues. Eddie points out that they did not move here suddenly but six years ago while Emery reminds her that the Huang family have had their fair share of driving incidents. Evan then points out that "Meatball" is singing "Ave Maria" and tells Jessica "Ciao bella, mamma mia," which Eddie proclaims is racist as he and his brothers head to the piazza.
Eddie, Emery and Evan head out the piazza only to find Jessica there in a lounge chair. They ask her if she could move so that they could play bocce but she refuses, telling them that she had gotten there first. The neighborhood gathers around the piazza, with Deidre asking Jessica to move so that they could continue with their bocce finals, although Jessica remains put. Marvin then announces that the finals have been postponed and that they should refer to Jamie for a refund on any bets they placed. As the crowd disperses, Jessica tells her sons that they now have the piazza to themselves and can have family fun time, only for them to respond that they were already having fun before she showed up and ruined it.
Eddie, Emery and Evan enter the latter two's bedroom where Eddie mentions how bocce is just adult marbles. Just then, Jessica walks in with an apology lasagna for ruining their "dumb bowling" although Eddie points out that the lasagna is still frozen. Jessica responds that it would've taken an hour to make and that she didn't need that much time to reflect, and tells them that with her studying and job hunting, she just missed them and wanted them all to herself, but that she would be happy if they were just all together. Evan then tells her that she would like bocce and Eddie adds that it would be perfect for her as it involved precision, competition and violence, and asks her if she wants to play with them.
Out on the piazza, Eddie congratulates Jessica for winning bocce finals. Just then, George Bryson and the police show up to destroy the median, as it has been constructed without a permit. When Deidre asked who snitched, Bryson responds that he was alerted to the matter through an anonymous op-ed in the paper, and Jessica publicly announces that she suspects Carol-Joan to be the culprit. Emery and Evan lament how bocce was fun while it lasted; Jessica replies that they can continue this in their backyard. As the crowd cheers, Jessica clarifies that she meant the Huang family only.
While the family watches Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Louis correctly answers, picking "C" despite believing the answer to always be "C" but because he actually knew it, and Eddie tells him that he should be on the show. Louis replies that he would never be chosen to be on television, stating that in order to be on the show, he would have to call in, pass the screening process, and then out of thousands and thousands of applicants, be one out of only ten to be chosen; he tells his sons there would be no chance he would be on the show.
At Cattleman's, Chestnut is discussing spots on the silverware and wants to throw them out. Eddie tells Chestnut to simply add rinse agent to the dishwasher, and Louis commends Eddie for preserving the silverware. Eddie tells Louis that he is there to support him and discloses that he went through their books and that their profits are up 10%.
When Louis asks how, Eddie explains that cutting back on garnishes saved them three cents per plate and that he created an incentive where if a table orders more than four appetizers, he would perform a belly roll for them. Louis tells Eddie that he loves his initiative, to which Eddie assures his father that he has been increasing his performance since Louis is busy with consulting. Just then, Trent informs Eddie that a table has ordered their fifth appetizer, and Eddie performs his belly roll.
Eddie is taught by Jenny how to make bao zi, a Chinese dish. Louis, who had rushed into the kitchen and admonished them for allowing the kettle to hiss, is surprised that Eddie has been taking notes and footnotes, and Eddie explains that he has done so since Jenny does not write recipes and therefore thought it would be good to have it written down before she passes away, but does not say the last few words out loud upon noticing Louis shaking his head and Jenny watching him. Louis then tells Eddie that if he keeps up this initiative, he may consider passing down Cattleman's to him some day.
Shortly after, while at work, Louis heads into the Cattleman's kitchen and sees Eddie's new fusion dish, the Cow Bao, which involves him putting burger pieces in the bao zi. Louis appreciates Eddie's initiative, but when Eddie asks if Louis can place the Cow Bao on the Cattleman's menu, Louis immediately rejects him and walks out of the kitchen.
Having followed him outside, Louis tells Eddie that he does not want to mess with what was working, and Eddie counters that China had existed for far longer than Cattleman's; however, Louis reminded him that they are a Western steakhouse and that an Asian fusion dish is not part of their brand, which Eddie seemingly accepts, although not before accusing Louis of being a control freak. Just then, Trent walks in with his arm in a sling, telling Louis that he would not be able to work for a while, disclosing that he had lateral epicondylitis, or tennis elbow.
Eddie approaches Louis later and cites that his Cow Bao would be successful, as he ran the numbers and learned that there was a 63% uptick in Asian cuisine popularity and that fusion dishes were currently "in." Furthermore, since Cattleman's cut their square burger patties into circles for their burgers, they would be able to use the excess corner meat for the Cow Bao, therefore literally cutting corners. While Louis is hesitant, claiming to be unsure if their clientele would be able to adjust and accept it, Eddie reveals that he had already put them to the test by offering some to Trent and two of their customers, with one customer proclaiming that she would pay a $100 for it. Trent then tells Louis that he has to put it on the menu, and Louis assures Eddie that he would do so.
Louis' application be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire is accepted, and having passed the screening process, is selected to be on the show. Host Regis Philbin tells Louis to introduce himself to the audience before they begin, and Louis tells them his name and mentions his family. Regis asks him what he does for work, Louis replies that he is a business consultant and the owner of Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, adding that he wouldn't be able to do it without Eddie's assistance, and Eddie gives Louis a thumbs up in response.
When Jessica states that being in front of the camera is not an accomplishment, and that newborns and safari animals, whom she deems lazy, have achieved the same task, an offended Eddie retorts that safari animals stalking their prey in the Serengeti for three nights is not lazy. As the game begins, Regis reminds Louis that he has three lifelines, consisting of 50/50, Ask-the-Audience and Phone-a-Friend, the latter where he can call anyone for help. After Louis gets his first question correct, Eddie notices Jessica and Emery leaving, and watches as Louis continues to get the next questions right.
Regis calls for a break and asks Louis to meet his family; however, looking into the audience, Louis sees that only Eddie is there. Beckoning him over, Eddie and Regis meet, and Eddie tells Regis about the Cow Bao fusion dish. Regis responds that he would like to try one and Eddie asks if he can mention it on the air, which Regis agrees to do while Louis attempts to curb.
Eddie replies that it would be great publicity, especially with Regis chiming in that 28 million people watch the show, but Louis responds that he doesn't want to false advertise since the Cow Bao will not be going on the menu. Upset, Eddie calls Louis a control freak while Louis snaps back that he does not a "dumb Chinese dish" on his menu. The game then resumes, but Regis calls for another break due to "technical difficulties" so that the father and son can mend their relationship, but notifies them that they only have 90 seconds to do so. Eddie asks Louis if he's ashamed of Chinese food and their culture, and calls Louis a sellout as he walks back to the audience.
With the game resuming, Regis asks a question worth $32,000 – "What part of a computer processes memory?" – with the answers being "monitor," "RAM," "hard drive" or "gizmos." Unsure of the answer, Louis tells Regis that he wishes to use his Phone-A-Friend lifeline to call his son. However, instead of calling Evan, Louis' "calls" Eddie in the audience. Louis apologizes to Eddie, telling him that when he started the restaurant, he wanted to be seen as American, but that he now realizes that it does not have to be one or the other and it makes him happy that it is a lesson Eddie did not need to learn. He adds that he would be honored to pass on Cattleman's to Eddie when the time came, much to the audience's appreciation. However, with the time ticking, Louis asks Eddie what the answer is and Eddie reminds Louis of his prior assertion that the answer is always "C.' Louis answers with C for hard drive, but gets it wrong and therefore losee the game and the money he accumulated.
Sometime later, the Huang family watch the Millionaire episode at Cattleman's, watching Louis lose on television. Evan remarks that he can't believe Louis wasted the lifeline on Eddie instead of him, and Louis apologizes for losing out on the million dollars, although Eddie points out that he was nowhere close to a million. Jessica tells Louis that it's okay and that money isn't everything, and Emery asks her if she is acting, to which she confirms she is. Just then, Trent serves them with seven Cow Baos and tells Eddie that he owes his own table a belly roll, and that Chestnut had been filling in during Eddie's absence. The family then notice Chestnut pulling up his shirt and parading his "champ stamp" to a dining family, making them uncomfortable.
A few hours after Thanksgiving, Jessica wakes up early and begins to set up her "Jessica Town" model, singing "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" out loud at the top of her lungs, waking up her family and causing them to head downstairs. As she tells them it was about time they got out of bed, Evan points out that it is 5:00 am while Emery reminds her that Thanksgiving was just last night, and Eddie, claiming to be more turkey than man, asks her if she could put her preparations on hold until daytime; Jessica declines, notifying her family that with Thanksgiving being over, the Christmas season has officially begun and that there was no time to waste.
At the breakfast table, Eddie tells his brothers that he ate his pancakes with leftover turkey gravy, causing them to leave the table in disgust. After washing their dishes, Louis asks the boys what they would like for Christmas, and all three unanimously respond that they want a gift card. Eddie and Evan join Jenny and Emery on the couch helping the latter practice his lines. When Emery asks them to read it again, Evan whines in frustration, and Jenny tells them that they shouldn't whine since Emery needs their help, stressing the importance of family.
As Emery and Jenny relocate elsewhere to rehearse on their own, Evan commends Eddie for intentionally ruining his line delivery to get them out of helping Emery. Just then, Honey enters their house and asks if they would mind hiding a maritime nutcracker for her; she had bought it as a present for Marvin but since Marvin is snooping for presents around the house, she wishes to hide it so that she could surprise him on Christmas morning. Telling them that she would be back later to wrap it, she thanks them and leaves.
Eddie remarks his disbelief that the nutcracker could physically crack a nut, despite Evan's insistence that the lever within could generate the necessary force and that it was physics. In order to prove Eddie wrong, Evan uses one of the table nuts and successfully cracks it, much to Eddie's joy. The brothers then decide to test the nutcracker on other items, only to break it when they try using a jawbreaker. Eddie tells Evan that they would merely have to replace it before Honey finds out and asks him how much it would cost, and Evan, checking the price tag, informs him that the nutcracker cost $400.
Eddie goes through his wallet and tells Evan that he doesn't have any cash, having spent it all on buying Tina a brown weave belt for Christmas. Evan states that he doesn't have any money either, having tied it up in mutual funds, and suggests that they tell Honey the truth since they do not have the money to buy a new nutcracker. Eddie is vehemently opposed to the suggestion, not wanting to risk losing the gift cards he is set to receive, and instead suggests that they should cover it up, claiming it is what he does whenever he makes a mistake. Evan is hesitant, claiming it to be a delinquent course of action, and Eddie responds that while his way is messy, it always works out. He adds that he had broken plenty of things and had never been caught, and reveals that the watch Evan is currently wearing is not the original he received from a pen pal in Ecuador, but a replacement watch he had purchased from Sears. When Evan once again voices his hesitation, Eddie tells him that confessing would cause extra stress on Honey and Jessica, and would therefore ruin Christmas for everyone. Sighing, Evan begrudgingly accepts and shakes hands with Eddie; he then asks what happened to his old watch, and Eddie notifies him that it is presently within Trent's dog.
Eddie and Evan ask Emery to work as a Christmas elf at the mall, with Evan suggesting that it would be great character work that would help his acting career, claiming that Brendan Fraser from The Mummy had been a mall elf as well. Eddie mentions that Emery's 30% mall discount would allow them to get something that is $400 for $280, and Emery immediately realizes that they broke Honey's nutcracker. Eddie states that even with his job at Cattleman's he would not be able to afford a new one, with Evan adding that he is too short and young for elf duty, noting that the requirement seems backwards to him. Emery politely declines as it is not his problem, but Evan reminds him what Jenny had said about doing things for the family, and after his brothers plead, Emery agrees to help them out.
Eddie returns home after work and regroups with Evan in his room, informing him that he sold a customer his socks. Just then, Emery enters in his elf costume and Evan asks him how his first day was. Emery responds that it was awful, having to deal with an endless line of people, shoving parents and crying babies, with a rude Santa Claus as well; he then tells his brothers that he hates himself and is going to bed. Feeling bad, Evan tells Eddie that they cannot let Emery continue working, and Eddie reminds him that while his way is messy, it does work out and that Evan knew this when he signed up for it.
Eddie, Emery and Evan head to the Orlando Galleria shopping mall, where Eddie is helping Emery get ready for work. Emery moans that he cannot go back out there, but Eddie assures him that his suffering is almost over as he has picked up another shift at Cattleman's and that Evan was closing a deal as they spoke, and tells him that they're all in this together and that he is doing it for the family. During the van ride home, Evan informs Eddie that Emery does not need to work as an elf anymore, and Eddie asks how much money he got from selling his Beanie Babies and if he would buy pizza for them. Evan then reveals that he stole the nutcracker and Eddie yells, citing that he is too pretty for jail.
Entering through the front door, Eddie berates Evan for stealing, adding that even he has never stolen anything before. Evan urges him to be quiet since Jenny is in the room, although Eddie claims that Jenny would not hear them since she is watching Die Hard and the rest of the world fades away for her when Bruce Willis is on television. Evan explains that he did not what came over him, that he ran into Honey at the mall, saw Emery crying, and the next thing he knew he was outside the mall.
Evan is worried that he has to go on the run and create a new life, while Eddie blames himself for pushing Evan to do things his way, although Evan reminds Eddie that he never told him to steal. Eddie then decides to return the nutcracker and come clean to Honey, telling Evan that he would bear sole responsibility. Evan points out that doing so would cause him lose his gift cards, although Eddie retorts that he hopes that taking the blame for Evan would score him points with either Santa or Jesus.
Eddie and Evan inform Emery of the theft and enlist Emery's help in returning the nutcracker to the mall. Emery returns home and informs his brother that it was a success, explaining that he notified the vendor that he had taken it to clean at Santa's workshop and that the vendor had believed him. Just then, Honey enters with navy blue wrapping paper to wrap the nutcracker. Eddie plans to come clean, but Jenny wheels up to Honey and presents her with the nutcracker. Playing with it for a bit, Honey commends the boys for resisting the urge to play with the nutcracker, telling them they have greater willpower than her before leaving. Eddie asks Jenny why she bailed them out, and she replies that she overheard them and decided to help them for the family, although she adds in Mandarin that she plans to hold this over them for a long time.
A month later, on Christmas morning, Eddie, Emery, and Evan unwrap their Christmas presents to find gift cards, only for Jenny to demand that Eddie and Evan give their gift cards to her in order to pay back their debts. Evan then points out that Emery still has and they could split it three ways, although Emery declines, intending to spend his at a spa in order to relax from the stress of being a mall elf.
Eddie and Emery are in the living room watching television, where Emery gives his pizza crusts to Eddie, who refers to them as "Emery Sticks." Evan then walks into the room and tells them to turn on ESPN, which he refers to as "ESS-PEN," as he claims to now be a high school athlete. He informs his brothers that he would be attending their high school a few times a week as he was recruited to be a Mathlete, and states that all three of them can now hang out together at school.
Eddie drives himself and his brothers to the high school, reminding Evan that he would have to call shotgun. Emery claims that it is tough for him to call shotgun due to his pacifist nature, but that he does so since sitting in the back makes him carsick. Eddie tells his brothers to let all of their farts out now as it was the last safe place to do so before they went to school. As he moves to exit the van, he tells Emery that if he was late after school, he would leave him behind.
After school, Eddie is in his room applying deodorant under his knees when Evan walks in. Evan asks Eddie why he doesn't hang out with Emery at school, and Eddie replies that it is because he finds Emery's drama friends to be weird as they are always pretending to interact with invisible props. Eddie adds that while hanging out with brothers is fine at home, it would be lame to do so in high school, and that Emery needs to figure stuff out on his own as he would be gone after another year. Evan tells Eddie that he believes Emery really wants to hang out with him. Eddie then decides to hang out with Emery and asks Evan if he could apply deodorant to his back, but Evan refuses.
The next day, Eddie goes to sit with Emery and his friends at lunch but is admonished for ruining their imaginary piano. Eddie mirthlessly mutters how "fun" invisible prop time is before uttering that he would hanging out with Emery today, only for Emery to decline. Taken aback, Eddie claims that his desire to hang out with him should be perceived as a gift from God and that he should be thrilled that his older, cooler brother is hanging out with him. Emery informs him that while he appreciates the offer, he would rather Eddie not join him and means no offense, although Eddie takes offense. Eddie then states that it must be because Emery can't bring himself to leave his "dweeb" friends, and an insulted Emery fires back at Eddie's friends, prompting Eddie to storm off.
That evening, Eddie and Emery are sitting in the living room watching television when Emery offers Eddie his pizza crusts, only to toss them into the garbage bin that he had brought over in advance. Evan then walks in apprehensively and address his brothers, and Eddie pretends to warn Evan that he is about to walk into Emery's imaginary drum kits. Emery brings up Eddie crashing his lunch table, and Eddie explains he didn't want to but only did so because he felt bad for Emery after Evan told him that Emery wanted to hang out with him. Emery responds that he never said that, to which Evan reminds him that he said he didn't hang out with Eddie at school out of fear of cramping his style. Emery iterates that he only said that because he didn't want to admit out loud that he just didn't want to hang out with Eddie at school, a sentiment Eddie says is harsh albeit agreeing with it as well.
Evan tells them that he is bummed that the three of them don't hang out together at high school, especially since Eddie only has a year of high school left, and adds that brothers should hang out whenever they can. As he leaves the room, Emery tells Eddie that Evan just does not get it, and Eddie coyly responds that perhaps they should give Evan the quality brother time that he wants. Realizing that Eddie has a plan, Emery smiles and retrieves one of his pizza crusts from the trash. He holds it out for Eddie as a peace offering, stating that it is symbolic and not meant to be eaten as it was in the trash, only for Eddie to take a bite out of it anyways.
Eddie and Emery dress in Mathlete uniforms and join Evan's club, much to Evan's protest. Eddie and Emery inform him that they are merely hanging out together at school like he wanted, despite Evan's assertion that the Mathletes is his thing. As a round of questions begin, Emery and Eddie give out false answers, prompting Evan to call for a time-out and take his brothers aside, telling them that he now gets what they meant. Eddie iterates that having brothers interfere in personal business is not fun, while Emery asks Evan if he loves their grandmother. When Evan replies that he does, Emery asks if he would like to spend all of his time with her, even when she is sorting out her bras. Evan uncomfortably replies that he would not, and that he once had to sort out her thongs, and admits that he has much to learn about high school.
Sometime later, the Huang men are on their couch eating pizza and discussing pies when Jessica walks in with a rabbit named Mr. Buns, informing her family that the rabbit is now her assistant and would be staying with them while Principal Reed has a window installed in her office. Eddie then hears Louis express relief that Mr. Buns is a rabbit after having heard so much about a Mr. Buns whom Jessica referred to as cute and whom she shared an office with.
While in the kitchen, Eddie puts Pop-Tarts in the toaster and mentions his upcoming spring break plans on South Padre Island, with Emery claiming that he still cannot believe their parents agreed to let him do that and Louis states that he could not believe it either, but that the ship had sailed as they had shook their hands in agreement. Eddie recalls that he had to mop, vacuum and make a bed in order to convince his parents to let him go, telling them that while making a bed wasn't that hard, he never wanted to do it again. Just then, Jessica walks in with a tripod camera. Taking a photo of Eddie, she explains that she is setting it up so that she can take a photo of Eddie's face when his SAT results arrive sometime that week, and that she wanted to capture either the look of joy or the portrait of failure when she makes him go missing.
Eddie, Emery and Evan are sitting at the table when Evan tells them to reduce their volume, notifying them that he is attempting to complete the Academic Iron Man, and that while he's won the math and science fairs, spelling is the only subject he's gotten a regular A in. As the Florida State Spelling Bee is around the corner, he tells Eddie that he needs his help: he wishes for Eddie to introduce him to his former middle school classmate Simryn Patel, who won the spelling bee three years in a row.
Eddie refuses on the basis that he has bigger problems of his own, since his SAT scores coming in the mail this week and he is worried about Jessica's reaction. He reminds them of when he got his PSAT scores and Jessica made him stand a minute in the corner for every point under 1600 while the 250th episode of The Simpsons aired on television, with Eddie fearing that this would be the last year The Simpsons aired on television. Eddie adds that he blacked out during the first half of the test and mindlessly circled in the remaining ovals, and is therefore afraid that he failed, which would result in Jessica revoking her permission to let him go to South Padre Island for spring break.
As he gets up to leave, Evan tells Eddie that had he put in the work, he would not be so worried, leaving Emery to state that Evan got the worst traits of both Jessica and Louis. Eddie tells Emery that if he bombs the SATs, it would be considered worse than when Jenny used Jessica's credit card by purchasing Madonna bras, ruining Jessica's credit score in the process, and Emery recalls that Jessica was so mad she bled from both sides of her nose. Eddie wonders how Jenny returned to Jessica's good graces afterwards, and Emery informs him that they became on good terms when Jenny helped Evan get an A in Physical Education. Eddie then realizes that if helps Evan with his spelling bee problems, Jessica may forgive his SAT failure and still allow him to go to South Padre.
Emery commends Eddie's plan as being good, and Eddie heads to Evan's room. He tells him that he felt bad about earlier and has decided to introduce him to Simryn after all, claiming that Simryn was his close friend. When Evan asks Eddie why he would help him, Eddie lies, stating that after his SAT scores come in, Jessica would kick him to the streets and that one day eventually he would need a guest house to crash in and that Evan would be his best bet. As Evan buys it, Eddie tells him to go inform Jessica that he is helping her achieve academic greatness and he would be driving Evan to see Simryn; Evan deems the situation as being effulgent, but as he tries to describe the meaning of the word, Eddie shuts him down.
Eddie calls Trent using the payphone outside the Magic Motor Inn, whom he has enlisted to hide in the bushes opposite his house and observe the mailbox with his binoculars, as he has been tasked with intercepting Eddie's SAT scores before Jessica can get to them. Eddie tells Trent that he needs to delay Jessica receiving the scores until he can help Evan win the spelling bee and asks to make sure that Jessica cannot spot him, although Trent assures him that she could not before telling Eddie that he must disconnect the call as he is using his sister Trish's cell phone and her boyfriend is calling.
Eddie and Evan make their way through the Magic Motor Inn, with Evan wondering if Simryn lives at the motel. Eddie then spots Simryn, who is dancing while listening to Mandy Moore's "Candy". Simryn is stunned to spot Eddie, whom she recognizes from their piccolo class at Abraham Lincoln Middle School, and remarks that he has grown two feet since they last saw each other. Eddie tells her that he finds it cool that she lives at a motel and asks if the staff makes her bed for her, and Simryn explains that her family owns and operates the motels, although they don't live there themselves. Eddie then adds that at least she gets free HBO, only for Simryn to once again remind him that she does not live at the motel. Eddie then states he understands as he faces a similar situation with his father and his restaurant, where people assume he can eat steak for free every day, only for Evan to point out that Eddie does in fact eat steak for free every day.
Eddie then introduces Simryn to Evan, and tells her that he was hoping she could help him with his spelling bee. Before she can give her answer, Eddie thanks her for her assistance and tells her that she could take a couple of days to work with Evan while he would chill by the motel's pool. Simryn, however, informs Eddie that she does not have the time to teach Evan as she has work to do around the motel and must also work on perfecting the "Candy" dance for an upcoming Mandy Moore concert. As she walks away, Evan berates Eddie for wasting his time and for lying that he and Simryn were close friends. Eddie tells Evan that he thinks he can still get Simryn to help them and walks towards the entrance.
Eddie and Evan head to the reception desk, where Simryn's parents, DC and Mina, are working. Assuming they are magazine salesmen, DC tells them that he does not want any magazines and that he would not be scammed again, only to ask if he could purchase two "Rod and Reel" subscriptions. Just then, Simryn enters and expresses her surprise that Eddie is still there. Eddie pleads with Simryn to help Evan, and Simryn reminds him that she said was too busy to do so. DC then asks Simryn how she knows the "magazine salesmen" and Simryn explains that she and Eddie were classmates. Eddie immediately mentions that he and Simryn never dated but that he finds Simryn to be very beautiful, prompting Simryn to shake her head.
Evan clarifies that she is a beautiful spelling bee legends, and Eddie tells them that they need Simryn to help Evan win the spelling bee. DC responds that Simryn can indeed help, referring to as "Hamburger" as she is a helper. He then explains that it is a reference to Hamburger Helper as Simryn states that Eddie and Evan got that and that he was embarrassing her. Eddie asks "Hamburger" to help then and DC chimes that she would be great as she spent weeks for the spelling bees as Simryn stammeringly agrees that she did in fact study for them; however, she informs them all that she cannot help Evan as she has chores to do around the motel, only for Eddie to intercept and offer to do the chores himself, claiming that he loves chores. DC proclaims the matter to be settled, that Simryn would help Evan while Eddie does her chores, and tells Eddie that he would be starting tomorrow and that now everybody was happy.
The next day, Eddie calls Trent from the motel to ask if he's received his scores yet, and Trent responds that while he has not, Brian did, and that it was a very low score. Worried, Eddie tells Trent that he has to ensure that Evan gets all the training he can get from Simryn. As Simryn coaches Evan, Eddie works with DC, remarking that the motel's washing machine is the biggest he's ever used as DC replies that the biggest washing machine he ever used growing up was the Ganges, a river in India. DC then shows the board for the motel which states "Luke... I Am Your Motel." with DC explaining that it was from Star Wars but that they would need a new movie quote. Eddie and DC go to clean up a room, with DC telling Eddie that they would have to work fast since they only had ten minutes before the next guest checked in.
Eddie changes the quote on the board to "You know what they call a Quarter Pounder With Cheese in Paris? A Motel With Cheese." and informs DC that it was from Pulp Fiction, although DC does not get the reference. Eddie continues cleaning rooms with DC, struggling to make a bed despite his earlier assertion that he knew how to make a bed and that they were easy, and in his effort to do so, he traps himself underneath the sheets and cries out for DC to help him. They then change the movie quote to something DC would understand, and settle on "Do I make you cozy, baby?", referencing Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.
Eddie uses the motel's phone to check up with Trent, who notifies him what his SAT scores are. Hanging up the phone, Eddie tells Simryn and Evan that his SAT scores have arrived, and Simryn, believing he has failed, tells him that standardized testing is racist. Eddie then tells her that they're not racist enough as he scored a 1500, much to Evan's shock. Simryn congratulates him on his score while Evan asks how that would even be possible as Eddie blacked out and mindlessly completed the test, and Eddie replies that he is a natural. Eddie tells Evan that they are done now and can go home; when Evan points out that he is not done studying only for Eddie to retort that his spelling bee no longer matters as he is safe due to high SAT score. Evan then denounces Eddie for being selfish and criticizes himself for not knowing better, telling Eddie that he never cared about actually helping him.
Eddie explains that his actions were due to his desire to retain his spring break plans, but tells Evan that they can stay if he has more studying to do with Simryn. Simryn chimes in that she thinks Evan has gotten it, although when Evan asks her if he's ready for the spelling bee and if he can win, she hesitantly replies that she cannot guarantee it. Evan then asks her if he at least mastered her spelling system, and she discloses that she does not actually have a system and that she never studied for the spelling bees; additionally, she had only agreed to help Evan to stay on her parents' good side so she could attend the Mandy Moore concert.
Evan asks her how she could win three times if she never studied, and Simryn divulges that she has synesthesia – she closes her eyes, sees the word in colors, and spells it correctly. Evan is upset that Eddie and Simryn are naturals who succeed without ever trying, who have their talent available to them as they wake up, while he has to put in the work and earn it. Evan then states them that it is pointless to attempt the spelling bee as some natural would just participate and cinch the victory, and storming off, tells them that he has quit.
Eddie heads outside, where Evan is lying face down on a pool chair. DC walks up to him and notices that Evan is crying, and tells Eddie not to let Evan into the pool as his tears would mess up the water's PH levels. Eddie explains to DC that Evan is upset that he received a 1500 on his SATs without trying, leaving DC to dryly remark that fitted sheets must not have been on the test. Eddie further states that he thinks Evan is jealous because he is a natural, and DC replies that he does not understand why everyone is so obsessed with being a natural. Eddie responds that it is kind of awesome at being naturally able to pass the SATs without trying, only for DC to sardonically congratulate him on being a natural at something that would not make him any money. DC advises Eddie that natural talent would only take him so far, and that hard work was the key success, citing that the Magic Motor Inn would not have made AAA's list of most affordable motor lodges in East Orlando had he not put in the work. He tells Eddie that Simryn was an example of hard work as well, claiming that she would not have won all those spelling bees had she not studied, and Eddie reveals to DC that Simryn did not actually study for them.
Eddie sits next to Evan and apologizes if he made Evan feel like he wasn't awesome, adding hat there is no one "awesomer." He tells Evan that being a natural does not matter, and that Evan's work ethic is the greatest natural talent of all, which is what makes Evan so special. Evan asks how a work ethic would be special, and Eddie clarifies that anyone can get lucky every now and then, but Evan's focus is what will help him succeed in anything he wants. Eddie then convinces Evan to continue his endeavor to win the spelling bee and bring home the Iron Man, and Evan agrees, but stipulates that while he would allow Eddie to stay in his guest house in the future, he would evict him if he ruined the plumbing.
The Patels gather around the entrance to the motel and Eddie and Evan prepare to drive back across town. Mina presents them with a tiffin container consisting of rice, vegetables and two samosas; Eddie asks Mina if she expects to receive the tiffin box back, guaranteeing that Jessica would steal it, only for Mina to compliment Jessica as being smart. Evan invites the Patels to the spelling bee, and DC tells Evan that they would attend before going in to hug him. Simryn asks her father why he is hugging Evan, and Mina explains that he is actually frisking Evan for stolen shampoos. Deeming Evan to be clean, DC bids the Huang boys a safe trip home as Eddie returns the tiffin box to Mina, having devoured the entire meal in seconds. The Patels then wave as Eddie and Evan drive back home.
The Huangs and Patels attend the Florida State Spelling Bee, and Emery tells Eddie that he can't believe that he has yet to inform Jessica of his high SAT score. Eddie replies that he held off on it since he figured it was Evan's day, and Simryn adds that it was nice of Eddie to do so, only for Eddie to divulge that he also wishes to keep the score a secret in case things go south during spring break..
- "You are a clumsy boy with a heart of gold. [...] But what you do have is a great imagination, intelligence, and personality."
- ―Louis Huang to Eddie Huang
This section needs a rewrite
Eddie is a fan of rap music and things related to African-American culture. With Eddie being the more rebellious and free spirit of the brothers, Jessica constantly fears for his future.
- While the real life Eddie Huang has the middle name "Charles", the show's Eddie Huang has the middle name "Elvis", named after Elvis Presley.
- Eddie's legal Chinese name is Chungi Yi Ming.
- Eddie is a big fan of Wendy's.
- Home Sweet Home-School
- The Shunning
- Success Perm
- Persistent Romeo
- Fajita Man
- Showdown at the Golden Saddle
- Phillip Goldstein
- License to Sell
- Blind Spot
- Very Superstitious
- Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon
- So Chineez
- Family Business Trip
- Boy II Man
- Shaquille O'Neal Motors
- The Fall Ball
- Miracle on Dead Street
- Good Morning Orlando
- The Big 1-2
- We Done Son
- The Real Santa
- Year of the Rat
- Love and Loopholes
- Phil's Phaves
- Michael Chang Fever
- Keep 'Em Separated
- Tight Two
- Doing It Right
- Week in Review
- Jessica Place
- Hi, My Name Is...
- Rent Day
- Gotta Be Me
- The Manchurian Dinner Date
- Bring the Pain
- Coming from America
- Breaking Chains
- Help Unwanted?
- Grandma's Boys
- Chestnut Gardens
- TMI: Too Much Integrity
- Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire
- Jessica Town
- A Seat at the Table
- The Magic Motor Inn