Family Van

"Jessica, it's ridiculous that our van doesn't mean anything to you. We raised our family in this. It's practically a part of us!"
— Louis Huang to Jessica Huang

"Family Van" is the fourteenth episode of the sixth season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on February 21, 2020.

Synopsis[]

When the trusty family minivan takes a turn for the worse, Jessica and Louis each process the loss in their own way. Meanwhile, Eddie convinces his brothers to take a road trip with him to find their Washington, D.C. time capsule.

Plot[]

The Huangs are en route to Walt Disney World, and Evan wonders if they should start with Magic Kingdom, EPCOT, or the Monorail, while Jenny tells them that she can't wait to feel Gaston's biceps. Louis mentions that he can't believe they've never been before as they had lived in Orlando for six years, to which Jessica replies that Disney should have offered a discount to Orlando residents before today. Eddie tells them that he would ride Space Mountain until he vomits, and Louis tells him to play some music to commemorate the happiest moment of their lives. Eddie plays Hakuna Matata and the family sings along, only for their minivan to stop working. Louis then informs the family that it was their fault as they were too happy.

Returning home, Marvin Ellis tells them that they need to take the van to a mechanic and that repairing it is beyond his capability, revealing that they had mice in their air filter and that he witnessed a live birth. Jessica states that they would have it towed to the mechanic tomorrow and that Eddie could use the Cattlecar to drive his brothers around. Jessica and Louis then proceed to bicker about who ruined the brakes more on the van. Jessica assembles her family outside, telling them that they need to clean out the van before taking it to the mechanic as she believes they would steal whatever is in the van.

Louis reminisces about the van and its memories to Jessica, reminding her that they had purchased it on their wedding night and that he had taught Eddie how to drive in it, and has even kept a receipt of the car wash they gave the van after Jessica tased him. Eddie, Emery and Evan open up the trunk, where Eddie finds his old earpiece from when they drove down to Orlando from D.C. six years ago while Evan finds his old swimming trunks, with Emery remembering that it was from the day they tried to take the van on a joyride, lamenting how they did not get far. Eddie then finds a map for a time capsule they buried in D.C. and mentions that his 10 year old self most likely placed a bag of farts in there. Evan voices his disbelief at how Eddie could have gotten a 1500 on the SATs, and the brothers discuss how it won't be the same when Eddie goes off for college.

Eddie drives his brothers to piano class in the Cattlecar, with Evan wearing a suit, while Emery mentions that he is bothered by the fact that the first song their teacher taught them was "Chopsticks". Eddie then reveals that he's not driving them to piano class but instead driving them to D.C. to dig up that time capsule and have the road trip they once planned. Back at home, Jessica returns from Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Motors and reveals that she sold their van, which Louis calls "Sheila," to the mechanic after the mechanic told them that it needed too much work, citing it as a pragmatic solution. Louis becomes upset that she made such a big decision without consulting him, with Jessica responding that he was the one who purchased multiple vehicles without her, listing the Accord, the riding lawn mower, and the RV as examples. Louis states that Sheila was a member of the family and that there were days he wished Sheila resided in the garage instead of Jenny, although Jessica tells him that it is just a hunk of metal and that he should get over it.

Eddie stops at a gas station to refuel the Cattlecar and buys a bag of hot dogs for them, only for Emery to remind him that he's vegan and for him and Evan to inform Eddie that they do not eat hot dogs. Emery then tells him that they are not going on a road trip to D.C., and Eddie vehemently claims that they are, citing that they should live a little and that he would be gone soon and therefore no one would be around to show them how to have fun. Emery points out that driving 1,200 miles from Orlando to Washington, D.C. without a plan or any luggage was not fun, and Evan sarcastically adds that it would be even more fun once Jessica finds out that they've been missing for two days. Eddie discloses that he got that part covered, having informed Jessica that the three of them were having a sleepover at Walter's and that so long as they returned by 8:00 pm the next evening, they would be fine. Eddie manages to convince them to agree to the road trip when he mentions the intrigue behind what they hid in the time capsule, as they all forgot, as well as stating that it could potentially be valuable.

Louis goes to work at Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse but finds himself unable to focus, explaining to this workers that it was because of Jessica. Marvin assumes it is a divorce and congratulates Louis for doing so, with Trent Masterson adding that they "all saw it coming" while Matthew Chestnut tells Louis that Louis could sleep on his futon before yelling to Hector Martinez that the divorce was happening. Louis then clears the air and mentions that Jessica had sold their van, prompting Trent to exclaim that Sheila was part of their family, and Louis commends Trent for getting the gist of his issue. Louis laments how the van held so many memories of them and was purchased on their wedding night only to feel like Jessica doesn't care, and comes to the conclusion that he has to help her process her feelings about the van and get her to admit that Sheila meant something to her.

Louis tries to get Jessica to think about the van by eating, reading and listen to music that starts with "van" before putting the So Chineez license plate under her pillow. Eventually, he puts on his tuxedo and brings out the wedding album, getting down on one knee and telling her that, with the pictures, they could relive the moment they bought the minivan, although he remains unsuccessful. On the drive to D.C., the boys stop to see the world's biggest peanut, pull into a park to stargaze at night, and eventually make their way to Washington, D.C., accidentally wasting three hours after Eddie mistakenly drove them to Washington state.

Arriving at their old playground, they reminisce over their childhood memories until Emery pulls out the map, only to see that there are multiple X's drawn on it. Eddie mentions that he had done so to throw anyone who found the map off their scent, but Emery and Evan decide, despite the setback, that it would not be much of an issue as the three of them would dig together. Just then, Eddie collapses due to the two dozen gas station hot dogs he ate. The brothers begin to argue, with Emery and Evan telling Eddie that this was typical behavior from him and that they were grateful to know that this would be the last time they would be roped into one of his adventures, adding that they would be glad once Eddie leaves the house. Insulted, Eddie makes his way back to the car, leaving Emery and Evan, who deem him the worst, in the park. As Evan slams his shovel into the ground, they hear the sound of it striking metal, and they realize that they have found their time capsule.

Louis and Jessica head to Kareem Abdul Jabbar Motors, where Jessica observes a new Dodge Caravan minivan. Just then, Louis notices their old minivan on the lot and a family looking at it. Calvin, the manager, then walks up to them and recognizes Louis as the man who purchased an RV and then tried to return it with his wife's face on the side. Calvin points out to Louis that Jessica has just stolen their old minivan and driven off the lot, and deeming it a felony, tells Louis that he has two options – calling the police or joining him on a chase, the latter being a fantasy of his, and Louis opts for the chase. Calvin explains that he can only take a vehicle off the lot if it's for a test drive and when Louis agrees to do so and tells him that it doesn't matter which van they use, Calvin remarks that he's got Louis on the hook.

Evan exclaims that he can't believe they found their time capsule while Emery remarks that he can't believe they dug up so many dog collars with the name "Rover," criticizing pet-owners for not brainstorming a different name for a member of their family. They open up their time capsule, which contains three items – Emery's rubber duck, a photo of Jessica placed by Evan, and Eddie's bag of farts. Emery tells Evan that he remembers why they placed the items in the time capsule, as they had been super sad about moving and Eddie had told them that if they placed their most prized possessions in the box, they would always have a reason to return to D.C. Evan then remarks that 10 year old Eddie was the best dude, and Emery states that present day Eddie wasn't so bad, with Evan adding that they were lucky to have him. Evan then points out to Emery that Eddie is in the background of the photo eating a hot dog. Meanwhile, Louis and Calvin chase Jessica, following her through the sounds of honking and near crashes to determine her location.

Emery and Evan regroup with Eddie at the Cattlecar and inform him of the contents of the time capsule, with Eddie voicing his disgust at Evan's most prized possession for being a photo of Jessica. Emery apologizes for their early statements, admitting that it was a fun trip and that they needed it. Eddie then divulges that his true motive for taking the road trip was because he wanted to spend more time with them as he knew he would miss them once he was gone. Eddie then tells them that it's time to drive home, and when asked whether he could do so in his current condition, replies that he doesn't know for sure but that he would try to do so as their one last adventure.

Calvin and Louis catch up to Jessica, and Calvin asks Louis if he'd like to join him for an Orlando Magic basketball game the next day as he has an extra ticket; as Louis stares at him before exiting the vehicle in silence, Calvin sadly remarks to himself that he always oversteps. Louis makes his way to Sheila and enters the minivan, asking Jessica why she stole it. Jessica reveals that she did it because of Louis, due to him constantly trying to remind her how important the van was and that she snapped when she saw the van, as she did not expect to see it again. She discloses that selling the van was one of the hardest days of her life and that she had cried when the mechanic told her that it would be cheaper to sell it than to bother repairing it. She then tells Louis that it's okay that they grieve differently, citing how Louis likes to immediately talk things through but that it wasn't something she did. She then asks him he followed her, and realized he followed her "path of destruction" due to her reckless driving.

The Huang family finally make their way to Disney World, exiting the park after spending a few hours at Magic Kingdom. Louis has his arms around Jessica while gushing what a great day it was and how it was worth the splurge, and the pair look at Sheila in the parking lot, with Louis praising Jessica for being able to repurchase the vehicle while also getting Kareem to throw in free tires all while negotiating a grand theft auto charge. Evan then mentions how great a day it was and stiltedly remarks that it was not comparable to the sleepover they had at Walter's which most definitely did not result in them receiving a speeding ticket in North Carolina. Eddie, putting his arms around his brothers, tells them that he has so much to teach them in so little time.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Randall Park as Louis Huang
Constance Wu as Jessica Huang
Hudson Yang as Eddie Huang
Forrest Wheeler as Emery Huang
Ian Chen as Evan Huang
Lucille Soong as Jenny Huang (credited as Grandma Huang)
Chelsey Crisp as Honey Ellis (absent; credit only)
Ray Wise as Marvin Ellis

Recurring Cast[]

Matt Oberg as Matthew Chestnut
Trevor Larcom as Trent Masterson

Guest Cast[]

Jaleel White as Calvin
Ervin Ross as Mechanic

Quotes[]

Evan: Magic Kingdom, Epcot, the Monorail... where to start?
Jenny: I can't wait to feel Gaston's biceps.
Louis: I can't believe we've lived in Orlando for six years and never been to Disney.
Jessica: Well, they should've allowed Orlando residents a discount before today.
Eddie: This is the best day ever. I'm gonna ride Space Mountain till I puke.
Louis: Eddie, hit us with some tunage to commemorate the happiest moment of our lives.

Louis: Man, I can't believe the van is so out of shape. Maybe if you didn't constantly ride her brakes and just let the old gal dance...
Jessica: Me?! You're the one who comes to a complete stop at every intersection. Why don't you just roll through like a normal person?
Marvin: That's why I love the ocean. No stop signs. You try to put one up, it sinks right to the bottom.
Louis: Can't you just put it on a buoy?
Marvin: Oh, you have a three-mile-long anchor to keep that buoy in place, wise-ass?

Eddie: Six years later, and we're still a bunch of dorks singing in a van.
Evan: Check it out. My old swim trunks!
Emery: Oh, from when we tried to take the van for a joyride.

Eddie: I drew this map after we buried that time capsule in D.C. I wonder if it's still there.
Evan: A map? Possible treasure? It's like The Goonies, but with three Asian boys!
Emery: Three inoffensive Asian boys.
Evan: Hmm. I can't even remember what we put in that time capsule.
Eddie: Hmm. I was 10. But if I know young Eddie, that little scamp probably put a bag of farts in there.
Evan: How you got a 1500 on your SATs, I'll never know.
Emery: Yeah. To be honest, I never thought you'd get into college.
Evan: Yeah, we just assumed you'd live at home forever.
Eddie: Me too. Turns out my brain had other plans.

Louis: Poor Sheila. We bought this van on our wedding night. I taught Eddie how to drive in it.
Jessica: I remember things, too, Louis.
Louis: It's just we've been through so much with this van. So many memories.

Eddie: Is that suit really necessary?
Evan: Hey, I respect our piano teacher.
Emery: The first song he taught us was "Chopsticks". Does that not bother you? Because it bothers me.
Eddie: Well, I'm glad you guys have mixed feelings on this piano teacher because... you're not going.
Evan: But we're finally gonna find out what that middle pedal does today!
Eddie: Well, this pedal hits the gas, and we're riding it all the way to D.C.
Emery and Evan: What?!
Eddie: We're finally doing that Huang boys road trip. And this time, there's no stopping us.

Jenny: You know who burns a lot of oil? Dale Earnhardt. What a racist.
Louis: You mean, "racer"? Ma, you gotta go back to using Mandarin. You're gonna get in trouble.

Louis: Hey! How's the van doing?
Jessica: Great. I sold it.
Louis: You sold Sheila?!
Jessica: It needed too much work and the mechanic at Kareem's offered to buy it. It was the pragmatic solution.
Louis: I can't believe you made such a big decision without consulting me!
Jessica: Says the guy who purchased multiple vehicles without me – the Accord, the riding lawn mower, the 40-foot RV...
Louis: It was 35, but point taken. And this is different. She was practically a member of our family. There are days I wish she lived in the garage instead of Grandma.
Jessica: Every day I wish that. But Louis, this is just a hunk of metal. Get over it.

Emery: We're not going on a road trip to D.C.
Eddie: Yes, you are! You guys need to learn to live a little. I'm gonna be gone soon. There's gonna be nobody around to teach you guys how to have fun.
Emery: Fun? You're about to drive us 1,200 miles with no plan, no luggage, and a bagful of gas station hot dogs.
Evan: And I don't even have my night guard.
Eddie: Guys, we'll figure that out as we go. That's the fun of it!
Evan: Oh yeah, gonna be a real bounce house when Mom figures out we've been missing for two days.
Eddie: I've already got that covered. I told Mom we're having a sleepover at Walter's. As long as we're back tomorrow by 8:00 p.m., we're good.

Eddie: Well, we made it to D.C. With time to spare.
Evan: And that includes the three hours we wasted before we realized you were driving to Washington state.
Eddie: Hey, I didn't hear many complaints when you were dipping your toes in the Chattahoochee.

Calvin: So, your wife just drove off the property? That's pretty bad-ass, except for the felony part.
Louis: Oh, I knew something bad like this might happen. She's been repressing her feelings, and it's not healthy.
Calvin: Sure. We have two options here. We can either call the police or we can buddy-cop this mother ourselves and chase her down.
Louis: Um, the not call-the-police one.
Calvin: I was really hoping you'd say that. It's been a fantasy of mine for a while.
Louis: Oh, great. We need to hurry. She's getting away.
Calvin: That's how the fantasy always starts. Unfortunately, I'm only allowed to take a vehicle off the lot if it's for a test drive.
Louis: Fine! Whatever it takes, let's go!
Calvin: Great! I just need your license so I can make a few copies, we have to fill out a few forms, then we'll be on our way.
Louis: Alright.
Calvin: Um, hey, which car do you wanna take as the chase van? Uh, the blue, the gold, or the red?
Louis: Any car is fine.
Calvin: Heyyy, Calvin's got one on the hook.

Evan: I can't believe we found the time capsule.
Emery: I can't believe how many pet collars we dug up. So many named "Rover". Take 10 minutes to brainstorm. It's a member of your family.

{Spacer}}

Emery: A picture of Mom?
Evan: That's mine! She hasn't aged a day.
Emery: I remember why we put this stuff in here. We were super sad about moving. And Eddie said if we buried our most prized possessions, we'd always have a reason to come back here.
Evan: He was right. 10-year-old Eddie really was the best dude.
Emery: Present-day Eddie's not too bad either.
Evan: Hmm. We're lucky to have him.

Evan: We found the time capsule.
Eddie: What was in it... betrayal?
Emery: Actually, it was a rubber duck, a picture of Mom, and a bag of farts.
Eddie: Ew. A picture of Mom?
Emery: Sorry about earlier. It really was a fun trip.
Evan: Yeah, thanks for kidnapping us.
Emery: You were right – we needed it.
Eddie: Actually, you were right. I wasn't doing it for you, I did it for me. I wanted more time with you. I'm gonna miss you guys.

Jessica: So, how did you even find me?
Louis: A good husband knows how to stalk his wife.
Jessica: You followed my path of destruction, didn't you?
Louis: I still don't know how you missed that stroller.

Louis: We finally made it to Disney World. What a great day.
Jenny: The part I liked the most was I accidentally joined a different family.
Louis: You gotta admit, Jessica, today was totally worth the splurge. And what a splurge it was.

Gallery[]

Episodes

Fresh Off the Boat – Season One

Episode 1 "Pilot"	Episode 2 "Home Sweet Home-School"	Episode 3 "The Shunning"	Episode 4 "Success Perm"


Episode 5 "Persistent Romeo"	Episode 6 "Fajita Man"	Episode 7 "Showdown at the Golden Saddle"	Episode 8 "Phillip Goldstein"


Episode 9 "License to Sell"	Episode 10 "Blind Spot"	Episode 11 "Very Superstitious"	Episode 12 "Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"


Episode 13 So Chineez

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two

Episode 1 "Family Business Trip"	Episode 2 "Boy II Man"	Episode 3 "Shaquille O'Neal Motors"	Episode 4 "The Fall Ball"


Episode 5 "Miracle on Dead Street"	Episode 6 "Good Morning Orlando"	Episode 7 "The Big 1-2"	Episode 8 "Huangsgiving"


Episode 9 "We Done Son"	Episode 10 "The Real Santa"	Episode 11 "Year of the Rat"	Episode 12 "Love and Loopholes"


Episode 13 "Phil's Phaves"	Episode 14 "Michael Chang Fever"	Episode 15 "Keep 'Em Separated"	Epsiode 16 "Tight Two"


Episode 17 "Doing It Right"	Episode 18 "Week in Review"	Episode 19 "Jessica Place"	Episode 20 "Hi, My Name Is..."


Episode 21 "Rent Day"	Episode 22 "Gotta Be Me"	Episode 23 "The Manchurian Dinner Date"	Episode 24 "Bring the Pain"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three

Episode 1 "Coming from America"	Episode 2 "Breaking Chains"	Episode 3 "Louisween"	Episode 4 "Citizen Jessica"


Episode 5 "No Thanks-giving"	Episode 6 "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"	Episode 7 "The Taming of the Dads"	Episode 8 "Where are the Giggles?"


Episode 9 "How to Be an American"	Episode 10 "The Best of Orlando"	Episode 11 "Clean Slate"	Episode 12 "Sisters Without Subtext"


Episode 13 "Neighbors with Attitude"	Episode 14 "The Gloves Are Off"	Episode 15 "Living While Eddie"	Episode 16 "Gabby Goose"

	]
Episode 17 "The Flush"	Episode 18 "Time to Get Ill"	Episode 19 "Driving Miss Jenny"	Episode 20 "The Masters"


Episode 21 "Pie vs. Cake"	Episode 22 "This Is Us"	Episode 23 "This Isn't Us"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four

Episode 1 "B as in Best Friends"	Episode 2 "First Day"	Episode 3 "Kids"	Episode 4 "It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"

Episode 5 "Four Funerals and a Wedding"	Episode 6 "A League of Her Own"	Episode 7 "The Day After Thanksgiving"	Episode 8 "The Vouch"

Episode 9 "Slide Effect"	Episode 10 "Do You Hear What I Hear?"	Episode 11 "Big Baby"	Episode 12 "Liar Liar"

Episode 13 "The Car Wash"	Episode 14 "A Man to Share the Night With"	Episode 15 "We Need to Talk About Evan"	Episode 16 "Ride the Tiger"

Episode 17 "Let Me Go, Bro"	Episode 18 "Measure Twice, Cut Once"	Episode 19 "King in the North"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five

Episode 1 "Fresh Off the RV"	Episode 2 "The Hand That Sits the Cradle"	Episode 3 "Working the 'Ween"	Episode 4 "Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5 "Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"	Episode 6 "Sub Standard"	Episode 7 "Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"	Episode 8 "Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9 "Just the Two of Us"	Episode 10 "You've Got a Girlfriend"	Episode 11 "Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"	Episode 12 "Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13 "Grand-Mahjong"	Episode 14 "Cupid's Crossbow"	Episode 15 "Be a Man"	Episode 16 "Trentina"
Episode 17 "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"	Episode 18 "Rancho Contento"	Episode 19 "Vice Mommy"	Episode 20 "Nerd Watching"
Episode 21 "Under the Taipei Sun"	Episode 22 "No Apology Necessary"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six

Episode 1 "Help Unwanted?"	Episode 2 "College"	Episode 3 "Grandma's Boys"	Episode 4 "S'Mothered"
Episode 5 "Hal-Lou-Ween"	Episode 6 "Chestnut Gardens"	Episode 7 "Practicum?!"	Episode 8 "TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9 "Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"	Episode 10 "Jessica Town"	Episode 11 "A Seat at the Table"	Episode 12 "The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13 "Mommy and Me"	Episode 14 "Family Van"	Episode 15 "Commencement"