Help Unwanted?

"Honey, this may come as a surprise to you, but I'm not very good at accepting help."
— Jessica Huang to Honey Ellis

"Help Unwanted?" is the first episode of the sixth season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on September 27, 2019.

Synopsis[]

After Brandi Chastain scores the World Cup-winning goal against China and rips off her jersey to celebrate, Evan gets his first case of "the tingles", and now Louis and Eddie must team up to give him the talk. Meanwhile, Jessica and Honey are learning what it means to be best friends, and we learn a whole lot more about Marvin's family.

Plot[]

World Cup Watching — The families assemble to watch the 1999 FIFA Women's World Cup

The Huangs, along with Marvin and Honey, have gathered around the television to watch the 1999 FIFA Women's World Cup. Honey is feeding Maria while Marvin groans about the game. Honey has also given birth to her second child, a daughter named Liza, who sleeps. Louis announces that while he would forget about the game in 24 hours, this is his current focus, with him, Eddie, and Evan wearing USA jerseys to support their country while Jessica wears a jersey representing China. Emery, unable to choose whether to represent his native ancestral home or his country, wears half of both jerseys. The game concludes 45 minutes after going into overtime when Brandi Chastain successfully shoots a penalty goal against China, granting the United States team the victory. However, when Chastain gets on his knees and rips off her jersey in victory, the sight of her in her sports bra causes Evan to gain an erection, forcing him to flee from the room immediately.

The next day, Emery arrives at the breakfast table to discuss his electives for ninth grade. Honey also arrives, needing Jessica's advice as she cannot get Maria to eat anything. Jessica suggests tricking Maria, exemplifying how she gets Eddie to eat a banana right as he eats a hot dog, citing it as a way to get Eddie to eat fruit. Just then, Louis walks in with a copy of Orlando Tribune, with the headlines discussing the US World Cup victory and with a photo of Chastain in her sports bra. The picture arouses Evan once more, who flees from the kitchen. Louis observes Evan's unusual mannerism, and Eddie realizes what has transpired, informing Louis, Honey and Jessica that Evan has received the first case of the "tingles." He then clarifies to the confused adults that he is referring to an erection, prompting Honey to excuse herself and leave the house while Louis decides it's time to give Evan "The Talk." Jessica bids him luck, citing that everything waist-down with their sons was his responsibility.

Eddie retreats to his room and lies on his bed, listening to music, when he is interrupted by Louis. Louis asks Eddie if he still has his "Flowers and Watering Cans" school-approved sexual education book that Principal Hunter had given him years ago. Eddie, realizing that Louis intends to give Evan the same "talk" that he received, where Louis spoke frankly about sexual positions, diseases and practices, notifies his father that he cannot relay this to Evan without it affecting him negatively. Eddie then suggests that he give Evan "The Talk", claiming to be Evan's father-figure; Louis finds this insulting and retorts that he is Evan's father-figure and that Eddie is barely a son figure, before apologizing for his comments and retreating, ensuring Eddie that it was his responsibility to talk to Evan and that he would see it through.

As Jessica is working on assignments at home, Honey enters wearing a clean, white blouse, gleefully notifying Jessica that her advice to trick Maria worked. Emery then walks by, muttering about his indecisiveness to pick an elective while Jenny's muffled questions reverberate throughout the house. Jessica states that she wishes Emery would just pick an elective so that she could concentrate on her work without distractions and complains about her mother-in-law, prompting Honey to reply that at least Jenny does not break valuable family heirlooms while gesticulating like her father-in-law, Mervin Ellis.

Eddie is watching television when he sees someone walk by with a backpack; assuming it to be one of his brothers, he calls the passing figure a nerd, before realizing that it is none other than Louis. Louis states that the backpack contains props for his talk with Evan, including a shell with hair painted on it to signify female anatomy. Eddie tells his father that this would most likely confuse Evan, although Louis is confident in his approach. He then enters Evan's room to talk to him, but finds himself unable to discuss "The Talk" when he sees Evan, sitting on his bed with his Beanie Babies, referring to him as "Papa" and blinking earnestly up at him. He relays his failure to Eddie, who assertively declares that he would fare better, but finds himself in the same situation as Louis, deeming Evan and his toys too adorable and innocent.

While in the kitchen, Jessica is approached by a loud Emery, who explains that he is projecting as it is a technique used by actors, revealing that he picked the Drama elective after speaking with Honey. This infuriates Jessica, who disapproves of the Arts, and she storms into Honey's house to berate her for her interference in Emery's life. Honey explains that Jessica wanted Emery to just choose an elective so that she could focus, and that a best friend did not ask for permission before trying to help a friend out. This prompts Jessica to tell Honey to stop interfering and to stay in her lane, which causes Honey to point out Jessica's hypocrisy, as Jessica has always interfered and stepped out of her lane when it came to Honey's life. As a result, the two women decide to do whatever it takes to "help each other out" without ever asking for permission.

Back at the Huang household, Louis and Eddie regroup on the couch, lamenting in their failure. Eddie suggests that perhaps the two should team up and deliver "The Talk" together; while Louis agrees, the two still find themselves unable to discuss the matter with Evan, prompting them to go out for burgers, citing that they cannot do it without an empty stomach, and decide that they should spend the rest of the night watching movies.

The next day, Honey enters her home and curses as she steps on several building blocks. Jessica then appears, revealing that she bought Maria various LEGO-like blocks to play with so that Honey could devote time tending to Liza; additionally, Jessica has invited Mervin and his wife Candy to help Honey take care of her daughters, much to Honey's annoyance. As he enters, Mervin declares that he loves what they've done with the house while flailing his arms around, causing one of Honey's vases to fall and shatter on the ground. Candy then tells Honey that her home is not child-proof, leaving Honey to mirthlessly "thank" her. Honey then retaliates by having Marvin play the bugle in the Huangs' house to wake them up every morning and gives Jenny a megaphone, which Jenny uses to annoy Jessica. Retreating to her room, Jessica finds Emery rehearsing to be Danny Zuko from Grease, which only furthers her disdain.

At Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse, Louis and Eddie relay a transcript of their "Talk" to Mervin, Marvin, and Trent, with Louis discussing circumcision and Eddie explaining what "bases" refer to. Marvin explains how when he was younger, Mervin gave him "The Talk" without speaking a word but through hand gestures, which Mervin replicates. Eddie then asks how come they look more like brothers, and Marvin states that in the Ellis family, the men look like old men by the time they reach 25 and just retain that appearance for the next 70 years, with Mervin chipping in that he had crow's feet since he was in college. A befuddled Trent chimes in that he is grateful he received "The Talk" from his sisters as he was confused after hearing Louis and Eddie's "Talk", and Louis realizes that perhaps they need a woman's perspective.

Eddie and Louis return home and head to Jenny's room, where she gives them her version of "The Talk", including explaining how to pleasure a woman emotionally and sexually, even adding sound effects. While Louis is uncomfortable, Eddie laments that he should have taken notes. The two Huang men then state that perhaps Evan is too young for "The Talk" and decide to put it off for a while until Evan enters the room, asking his grandmother if he can store his Beanie Babies in her room as he wishes to have privacy in his room. Eddie and Louis immediately yell at the other to give him "The Talk", prompting Jenny to reply that she would do it, much to the loud opposition of Eddie and Louis. Jenny then informs Evan that Eddie and Louis wish to talk to him, but tell them not to do it in her room, citing that she has already had too much "family time" for the day.

Jessica storms into Honey's house to deliver turtlenecks that she bought in order to "help Honey hide her clavicles." She sees Honey dressed up, and Honey explains that she is dressed as Sandy Olsson from Grease as she is helping Emery rehearse his lines. Emery then shows up wearing a Letterman jacket and asks for help sewing a Rydell patch on it; both Jessica and Honey rush to help him and rip off the sleeves as a result, causing Emery to storm off. Jessica then blames Honey for the incident, and the two women decide not to be friends anymore. As Jessica prepares to leave, Honey announces that she would've lent Jessica her sewing machine, but would not now do so since they were no longer friends, to which Jessica retorts that she has two sewing machines, indicating her hands.

Louis and Eddie successfully manage to give Evan "The Talk" in his room, only for Evan to reveal that he already knows everything they told him. He explains that upon receiving "a tingle" he went to the library to study up on the changes happening to his body, and discloses that while Eddie is a year away from reaching his sexual peak, Louis had reached an age where his genitals would begin to fail. Louis tells Evan that Evan can always come to both of them if he needs to, and Evan, agreeing, responds that alternatively they could speak with him as well.

Louis then heads to the kitchen table, where Jessica is attempting to sew back Emery's sleeves by hand. He announces that his genitals are still working and attempts to seduce her, although she asks him to table his actions so that she may focus on her issues. She tells Louis that Honey is too pushy and rhetorically asks him if he knows what it's like to be with someone like that, to which Louis elects not to answer. Louis attempts to relate her issue to his issue with Evan, and Jessica cuts in asking if Evan already knew about it and if he taught Louis stuff, with Louis affirming both questions. Louis explains to Jessica how he thought, as the father, he would always be the teacher to his sons, only to learn that there are things his sons could teach him as well. He tells her that even though she's always been the one to help out Honey when it came to child problems, their relationship has evolved now that Honey has children of her own. Louis then brings up his working genitals once more, slightly insecure after Evan's comments, and invites Jessica to the bedroom as he leaves.

Jessica goes to Honey's house later and apologizes, informing her that she is not used to asking for or needing help. She elaborates that she is used to being the one who gives advice to Honey but must now accept that Honey has advice to give her, but adds that she would not need any help 98% of the time. Honey, smiling, replies that she would be there for Jessica for the remaining 2%, and as Jessica asks if they can be friends again, Honey accepts. Allowing Jessica to use her sewing machine and teaching her how to use it, Honey adds that Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon took high school drama as well, which causes Jessica to change her stance on the elective and to give Emery her approval. Back at the Huang house, Evan attempts to give his Beanie babies "The Talk", but instead outsources the task to Jenny, who asks him to leave the room. As he does so, she decides to explain "first base" to the toys by throwing one on the floor and spilling liquids on it.

Cast[]

Trivia[]

Brandi Chastain, the soccer player who Evan is attracted to, also portrayed Marvin's stepmother, Candy Ellis, in this episode.
Despite airing as the first episode of Season 6, this episode was intended to be the second episode of the season, following "College", which was meant to be the first.
The flashbacks of Louis giving "The Talk" to Eddie are from Season 1's "Persistent Romeo".

Errors/Inconsistencies[]

Jessica notifies Louis that he would be responsible for giving Evan "The Talk", citing that everything waist down was his responsibility and that she had made that clear in her vows. However, in "Persistent Romeo", she believed she should be the one to give Eddie "The Talk" until Louis convinced her otherwise.

Quotes[]

Louis: United States vs. China in the World Cup Final. I'm going to forget all about this in 24 hours, but right now, this is my world.

Louis: What's up with Evan? He just ran off without checking the DOW.
Eddie: Ohh, I know. Brandi Chastain in a sports bra? The way he acted at last night's game? Evan's got his first case of "the tingles".
Louis: "The tingles"?
Eddie: You know, Little Evan is finally talking to Big Evan?
Louis, Honey and Jessica: Ohh...
Honey: Yeah... I... I have gotta... I have... Okay...
Louis: Well, it's sooner than we thought, but I guess it's time to give Evan my patented talk, "The Talk".
Jessica: Good. Have fun. Everything waist-down is your territory. I made that very clear in our vows.

Louis: Hey. Do you still have that "Flowers and Watering Cans" book lying around somewhere?
Eddie: You mean the "Birds and the Bees" book that Principal Hunter gave me?
Louis: Yeah, it's for Evan's "tingle talk". I'm going to pretend like I'm going to read from it, then discard it in dramatic fashion. You know, open with a "wow".
Eddie: Wait. You're going to give him the exact same talk you gave me? Do you remember that talk?
Louis: [flashback] Half the reason I came to this country is so you could have lots of sex.
Louis: [flashback] Stay away from Arkansas, they outlawed all the fun stuff.
Louis: [flashback] If you pretend like you have a bad back, you don't have to do so much work.
Eddie: You can't give Evan that talk.
Louis: Why? It was a great talk.
Eddie: Oh, it was the best talk. You killed it. But Evan's not chill like me. He's an innocent little dove. If you come at him like that, his head might explode.
Louis: Hmm. Okay, point taken. I'll make some adjustments. You know, Evan it up.
Eddie: I don't know. You're going to make it weird for him. Maybe I should do it. Evan looks up to me. I'm kinda like his father figure.
Louis: What? No. I'm his father figure. You're barely a son figure. Oh, God, I didn't mean that. You're a great son. It's just... it's my job, stay out of it. Really. You're great. Solid son.

Louis: These are my props for "The Talk". I thought about what you said and realized that Evan's more of a visual learner.
Eddie: Is that a...
Louis: A conch shell I painted hair on? You bet your ass it is.
Eddie: Okay, I really think all this is just gonna confuse Evan.
Louis: Come on, Eddie. I thought you were supposed to be chill. Relax, I got this.

Jessica: Emery said that after he talked to you, he signed up for Drama!
Honey: Oh, good! I'm glad he finally picked something.
Jessica: No. Drama is a garbage elective.
Honey: I... I thought you just wanted him to choose?
Emery: Well, I didn't think he would choose something so useless. That's right up there with Spanish or CPR Training.
Honey: Jessica, I know how you feel about the arts, but there are aspects of Drama I think really could help Emery...
Jessica: What exactly did you say to him? That it would be "fun"? Help him utilize his "imagination"? Get in touch with his "feelings"?
Honey: Why are you using air quotes? Those are real words.
Jessica: Are they, "Honey"?
Honey: Look, Emery was stressed about his electives, and it was obviously stressing you out, too. And you had been so helpful with Maria, I just wanted to repay the favor.
Jessica: Well, if you want to do me a favor, just stay in your lane.
Honey: Really? Because you never stay in your lane.
Jessica: Name one time I haven't.
Honey: How about the time you threw out all of my Shania CDs because you said country-pop wasn't a real thing? Or the time you tried to have my first name changed? Or the time you casually suggested I would be happier with a younger man?
Jessica: Casually? I gave you Eddie's basketball coach's number.
Honey: Look, as misguided as that was, I knew you were just looking out for me. That's what good friends do. You see a chance to help and you do it. You don't ask for permission.
Jessica: Oh, so we don't have to ask for permission to help each other? Good, because there have been so many times I wanted to help you, but I held back.
Honey: This has been you holding back?

Louis: "The Talk" is going to be harder than I thought. I don't think I can go back in by myself.
Eddie: Maybe we could team up. Two heads are always better than one. K-Ci is nothing without JoJo.
Louis: No idea who they are, but based on context, yes, good plan. We flank Evan from both sides, and we turn the last Huang boy into a Huang man.
Eddie: So weird, but okay.

Louis: In conclusion, there are religious, social, and cultural reasons for the procedure, but as far as how it affects sensitivity, the jury's still out on that one.
Louis: Okay, so, getting to first base means kissing. Second base...
Marvin: You don't want to know what second base was like in the Navy. Ours was based on naval bases, not baseball bases. You know, I almost got to Pearl Harbor with the Captain's daughter.
Trent: I sorta get the conch shell, but why the tongs?
Louis: Oh, I was just returning those to the restaurant.
Marvin: You know, guys, the problem with your talk is there's too much talk. You're gonna lose Evan. Now, when my old man did it, he just used hand gestures. Boom. Facts of life.
Eddie: Why do you and your dad look like brothers?
Marvin: Oh, well, that's the way it works in the Ellis family. You know, by the time we're 25, we look like we're old men, and then we just coast the next 70 years. It's the curse that keeps on blessing.
Mervin: I've had crow's feet since I was in college.
Trent: I'm just thankful my sisters gave me the talk because I'm not following any of this.
Louis: Trent, you beautiful red beast! That's brilliant! Maybe what we need is a woman's perspective.

Jenny: And that's how you pleasure a woman. Emotionally and sexually.
Louis: I don't feel comfortable saying any of that to Evan.
Eddie: I should have taken notes.
Louis: I'm just trying to erase the visuals. And the sound effects were totally unnecessary. We're worse off than when we started. Maybe we have to rethink the talk altogether.
Eddie: Yeah, and why are we rushing into things? Evan's still young.
Louis: So young.
Eddie: Just a lamb, really.
Louis: Yeah, we've got plenty of time.
Evan: Grandma, do you mind if I store my Beanie Babies in here? I'm reaching an age where I need some privacy.
Eddie: You do it!
Louis: No, you do it!
Jenny: I'll do it!
Louis and Eddie: NO!
Jenny: Evan, your dad and Eddie need to have a little talk with you. Not here, though. This is already too much family time for today.

Louis: So, um... that's it... That's how it all works. Do you... have any questions?
Evan: Not really, I actually know all of that already.
Eddie: You do? Then why'd you let Dad take out the shell?
Evan: I was confused of what was going on inside of me, so I went to the library and microfiched like a fool.
Louis: Oh. Okay, good, but, um, if you ever need to talk, you could always come to me.
Eddie: Or me.
Louis: Or... both of us.
Evan: And if you guys ever need to talk, I'm here, too. At the library, I learned Dad's at the age where his man parts start failing and Eddie's a year away from his sexual peak. Apparently, it's all downhill from there. Okay, off you go.

Louis: Hola, mi amor.
Jessica: Why?
Louis: Do I and my perfectly functional man parts need an excuse to spend some alone time with my wife?
Jessica: Can we table whatever it is you're going through right now? Honey is trying to turn Emery into a homeless.
Louis: By encouraging him to take Drama?
Jessica: That's how it starts. She says she's helping me as a friend, but all she's doing is overstepping. Do you know how it feels to be around somebody so pushy?
Louis: Mm...
Jessica: I just don't see how Honey thinks that she can help me.
Louis: Well, maybe you're just underestimating her. You're used to your relationship being one way and now it's changing. It's like that time I gave Evan "The Talk".
Jessica: You mean just now?
Louis: Yes.
Jessica: Did he already know everything?
Louis: Yes.
Jessica: Did he teach you stuff, too?
Louis: Yes. You know, I always figured that being his father automatically made me the teacher. But I'm realizing that he'll teach me things, too, because he's going through big life changes. And so is Honey. It only makes sense that your relationship would evolve. So, back to my man parts, which I said are fully functional. And have a can-do attitude.
Jessica: ...
Louis: [as Jessica] Great, Louis. See you in the bedroom.

Jessica: I'm just so used to being able to give you advice and you just taking it. But now that you have two kids of your own... Which is still one less than three... I guess you'll have advice to give me, too, sometimes. So... can we be friends again?"
Honey: Yes.
Jessica: Just know that 98% of the time, I won't need any help.
Honey: Oh. Well, I'll be there for that 2%.

Jessica: Emery's been a lot happier since he started Drama-ing.
Honey: You know who else took high school drama? Bill Clinton.
Jessica: No.
Honey: Yeah. And Richard Nixon.
Jessica: Well, if it's good enough for Tricky Dick, it's good enough for Emery.

Evan: I owe you guys an apology. I shut you out because I was avoiding having a conversation I wasn't mature enough to have yet. But if I'm really going to be a man, I'm gonna have to start acting like one. So, let's talk. When a Beanie Baby reaches a certain age... Oh, god, have you guys always been this cute? I can't do this. Grandma, you're up.
Jenny: Evan, you're gonna want to take a walk.
Evan: I'm sorry, Brandi.
Jenny: All right, first base...

Gallery[]

Episodes

Fresh Off the Boat – Season One

Episode 1 "Pilot"	Episode 2 "Home Sweet Home-School"	Episode 3 "The Shunning"	Episode 4 "Success Perm"


Episode 5 "Persistent Romeo"	Episode 6 "Fajita Man"	Episode 7 "Showdown at the Golden Saddle"	Episode 8 "Phillip Goldstein"


Episode 9 "License to Sell"	Episode 10 "Blind Spot"	Episode 11 "Very Superstitious"	Episode 12 "Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"


Episode 13 So Chineez

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two

Episode 1 "Family Business Trip"	Episode 2 "Boy II Man"	Episode 3 "Shaquille O'Neal Motors"	Episode 4 "The Fall Ball"


Episode 5 "Miracle on Dead Street"	Episode 6 "Good Morning Orlando"	Episode 7 "The Big 1-2"	Episode 8 "Huangsgiving"


Episode 9 "We Done Son"	Episode 10 "The Real Santa"	Episode 11 "Year of the Rat"	Episode 12 "Love and Loopholes"


Episode 13 "Phil's Phaves"	Episode 14 "Michael Chang Fever"	Episode 15 "Keep 'Em Separated"	Epsiode 16 "Tight Two"


Episode 17 "Doing It Right"	Episode 18 "Week in Review"	Episode 19 "Jessica Place"	Episode 20 "Hi, My Name Is..."


Episode 21 "Rent Day"	Episode 22 "Gotta Be Me"	Episode 23 "The Manchurian Dinner Date"	Episode 24 "Bring the Pain"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three

Episode 1 "Coming from America"	Episode 2 "Breaking Chains"	Episode 3 "Louisween"	Episode 4 "Citizen Jessica"


Episode 5 "No Thanks-giving"	Episode 6 "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"	Episode 7 "The Taming of the Dads"	Episode 8 "Where are the Giggles?"


Episode 9 "How to Be an American"	Episode 10 "The Best of Orlando"	Episode 11 "Clean Slate"	Episode 12 "Sisters Without Subtext"


Episode 13 "Neighbors with Attitude"	Episode 14 "The Gloves Are Off"	Episode 15 "Living While Eddie"	Episode 16 "Gabby Goose"

	]
Episode 17 "The Flush"	Episode 18 "Time to Get Ill"	Episode 19 "Driving Miss Jenny"	Episode 20 "The Masters"


Episode 21 "Pie vs. Cake"	Episode 22 "This Is Us"	Episode 23 "This Isn't Us"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four

Episode 1 "B as in Best Friends"	Episode 2 "First Day"	Episode 3 "Kids"	Episode 4 "It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"

Episode 5 "Four Funerals and a Wedding"	Episode 6 "A League of Her Own"	Episode 7 "The Day After Thanksgiving"	Episode 8 "The Vouch"

Episode 9 "Slide Effect"	Episode 10 "Do You Hear What I Hear?"	Episode 11 "Big Baby"	Episode 12 "Liar Liar"

Episode 13 "The Car Wash"	Episode 14 "A Man to Share the Night With"	Episode 15 "We Need to Talk About Evan"	Episode 16 "Ride the Tiger"

Episode 17 "Let Me Go, Bro"	Episode 18 "Measure Twice, Cut Once"	Episode 19 "King in the North"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five

Episode 1 "Fresh Off the RV"	Episode 2 "The Hand That Sits the Cradle"	Episode 3 "Working the 'Ween"	Episode 4 "Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5 "Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"	Episode 6 "Sub Standard"	Episode 7 "Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"	Episode 8 "Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9 "Just the Two of Us"	Episode 10 "You've Got a Girlfriend"	Episode 11 "Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"	Episode 12 "Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13 "Grand-Mahjong"	Episode 14 "Cupid's Crossbow"	Episode 15 "Be a Man"	Episode 16 "Trentina"
Episode 17 "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"	Episode 18 "Rancho Contento"	Episode 19 "Vice Mommy"	Episode 20 "Nerd Watching"
Episode 21 "Under the Taipei Sun"	Episode 22 "No Apology Necessary"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six

Episode 1 "Help Unwanted?"	Episode 2 "College"	Episode 3 "Grandma's Boys"	Episode 4 "S'Mothered"
Episode 5 "Hal-Lou-Ween"	Episode 6 "Chestnut Gardens"	Episode 7 "Practicum?!"	Episode 8 "TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9 "Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"	Episode 10 "Jessica Town"	Episode 11 "A Seat at the Table"	Episode 12 "The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13 "Mommy and Me"	Episode 14 "Family Van"	Episode 15 "Commencement"

Help Unwanted?

Contents

Synopsis[]

Plot[]

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Recurring Cast[]

Guest Cast[]

Trivia[]

Errors/Inconsistencies[]

Quotes[]

Gallery[]

Fan Feed