|
Jessica Huang (born Chu Tsai Hsia, formerly known as Jessica Chu) is the mother of Eddie, Emery and Evan and the wife of Louis Huang. She is portrayed by Constance Wu.
Biography[]
When Jessica was a child, she had a sister named Connie Chu. In the episode "Boy II Man", a flashback showed that Jessica was obedient to her mother for the majority of her childhood, and that on one rare occasion, Jessica simply just wanted to pick out her own shoes, Grandma Chu showed Jessica a dead woman in a coffin and said that she picked out her shoes too. In the episode "Success Perm", Jessica and Connie both revealed how their childhoods were spent, trying to impress their mother with their success, only for her to be indifferent and aloof to what they did.
In the episode "Hi, My Name Is...", it was shown that when Jessica was in college, she was still using her original name of Chu Tsai Hsia, but since nobody could pronounce it, she changed it to "Bob" after the name of her favorite haircut. After a week, she learned how this was a traditionally male name and then changed it to "Jessica", named after the Allman Brothers song of the same name.
Jessica first met Louis Huang at a seafood restaurant, as mentioned in the episode "Love and Loopholes" and shown in a flashback in the episode "Hi, My Name Is...". Jessica had eaten something that had given her bad food poisoning and she rushed to the bathroom to dispose of it. While waiting in line, she saw Louis, who was in the line next to her, having the same dilemma on his hands. This is where they first met and first fell in love.
In the episode "Shaquille O'Neal Motors", a flashback revealed that when they got married, Jessica spent her wedding night buying a car with Louis. After getting married, they had three children, Eddie, Emery, and Evan.
Season 1[]
After living in Chinatown, D.C., Jessica and her family were uprooted to Orlando, Florida in "Pilot" after Louis had started a business there, called Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse. However, the restaurant was not faring up to expectations, much to Jessica's ire. Shortly after moving, Jessica met the neighborhood women, led by Deidre Sanderson, who loved to rollerskate and watch Melrose Place.
Jessica soon began to work at the restaurant as a singer, although she also micromanaged the restaurant, employing cost-effective tactics such as unplugging the jukebox as it cost more to run than it made, cutting down on napkin usage and prohibiting the host, Mitchell, from constantly snacking on the croutons. As Louis believed happy employees made a happy workplace, he tricked Jessica, convincing her to homeschool the boys while pretending the workplace was struggling without her, although Jessica was tipped off by Eddie. Jessica claimed that her actions were to help her family and prevent them from losing money, noticing that three young men would dine and dash, although Louis believed in the best of humanity and attempted to appeal to them. When the boys fled, Jessica chased them and struck them with her minivan, forcing them to apologize to Louis and pay their bill. Jessica then returned home and witnessed Eddie and Louis play basketball, and decided to release Evan and Emery from the homework she gave them so that they could play and bond with their father, remarking that none of them would gain athletic scholarships.[1]
Jessica struggled to find friends in the neighborhood, not relating with the local women, until she met Honey, the new wife of their neighbor, Marvin. Jessica and Honey had a shared interest in Stephen King, although Jessica ended her friendship with Honey when it became apparent that the local women hated Honey, as she was the reason Marvin's original wife divorced him and left the neighborhood. Louis had told her that she couldn't be friends with Honey as the animosity would affect their restaurant's success. However, Jessica was touched when Honey ate her food, as the neighborhood women refused to eat her Chinese food, and publicly affirmed her friendship with Honey.[2]
Shortly after, Jessica's sister Connie called and announced that their family was coming over to visit and see the restaurant. Wanting to make themselves seem affluent, Jessica and Louis received perms and made themselves seem like they had a bigger house, although their charade was exposed. However, Jessica was more focused on the fact that she was no longer her mother's favorite child, as Grandma Chu neglected her existence, having been affronted that Jessica had abandoned her. Connie, who had received breast implants, had a rivalry and animosity with Jessica during the trip, although they ended the trip on amicable terms.[3]
With no job and a lot of spare time, Jessica developed a habit of tuning into the Nightly News and believing everything they said. When Eddie wished to have a sleepover at Brock's house, Jessica refused as the Nightly News had warned her of potential pedophiles, and instead suggested that Eddie have the sleepover at their house. At the same time, Louis had informed her that the restaurant was beginning to do well, prompting Jessica to worry that they would become the targets of lawsuits. As the insurance did not cover sexual harassment, Jessica took it upon herself to conduct a seminar against it at Cattleman's Ranch, although she ended up sexually harassing the employees herself. This caused Louis to hire Dusty Nugget, a former repeat sexual harasser currently involved in a plea deal. Jessica stated in Mandarin that she hated him, unaware that Dusty spoke and understood Mandarin. After Eddie takes one of Dusty's sexual harassment videos and passes it off as a dirty movie, Jessica is called to the principal's office. Returning home, Louis is tasked with giving him the talk, but when Louis admits he did not discuss consent with him, Jessica goes to Eddie's room and attacks him with a pillow to demonstrate "no means no" and to teach him to respect girls. After the altercation, Louis tries to get Jessica to apologize to Eddie for her actions, although she refuses to do so, citing that as a mother she does not need to say sorry to her children. She then decides to spend her free time productively by trying to find a job.[4]
As the temperature increases, Jessica refuses to use the A.C. as it costs money and, needing to find a job, brings Emery and Evan with her to local open houses, where they enjoy the air conditioning while Jessica searches for employment in the newspaper, all while pretending to be interest parties in buying the houses. Eventually, realtor Ashley Alexander is fed up against Jessica, who ends up taking two prospective clients and selling a house to them herself. Overjoyed at having made her first sale, Jessica celebrates her calling as a realtor by turning on the air conditioning at the Huang home, albeit to the lowest possible setting.[5]
Following the restaurant's growing success, the Huang family were invited to a country club, which Jessica was ecstatic about as she was a fan of the film Caddyshack. Hiring Nicole Ellis as their babysitter, Jessica and Louis attempted to go to the country club, only to find out that Louis' new billboard for the restaurant was vandalized, proclaiming them to be thieves. The first time around, Louis had passed it off as pranks done by children, although the second time around Jessica realized they were being intentionally targeted. Louis then brought Jessica to a Golden Saddle, prompting her to be confused that they had copied Cattleman's Ranch; Louis then confessed to Jessica that it was he who copied them, recounting how he did not have the $50,000 franchise fee Golden Saddle demanded, and thus used their handbook to create a replica restaurant. Jessica proclaimed that Louis was the smarter businessman for doing so and that she preferred a good businessman over a visionary any day, defending Louis to Finnegan, the owner of Golden Saddle.[6]
Jessica is shocked when meets Phillip Goldstein, another Chinese boy at Abraham Lincoln Middle School who plays solo cello and practices five times a day. Believing Phillip to be the perfect Chinese boy, Jessica packs snacks for him and praises him constantly. After she refuses to allow Eddie to attend a Beastie Boys concert, she decides to let him go once Eddie lies that Phillip would be going with him, and attends dinner at the Goldsteins' residence. However, when Phillip abandons Eddie in the city without a care after Eddie attended Les Miserables with him and reneging on his promise to see the Beastie Boys, Jessica realizes Phillip is not a good person, calling him selfish and claiming that he is not a good Chinese boy while Eddie is. As recompense, Jessica drives Eddie to Tampa the next night to attend a Beastie Boys concert, much to her displeasure.[7]
Having successfully sold her first house, Jessica attempts to continue selling more, only for her to be intercepted by Ashley Alexander, who complains to Officer Bryson that she does not have a realtor's license. Jessica then prepares to take the test, but is intimidated by Kim McKinnen, Orlando's top realtor five years running. Jessica believes that she must be the best in anything she does, and believing she cannot top Kim's feats, is too scared to take the test, although she cannot bring herself to admit that to her family. Thus, she lies to them that she passed and is currently showing houses. She constantly runs into Honey while pretending to work and admits the truth to her, who informs Louis. When confronted by Louis, she considered quitting, but upon noticing that Eddie allowed Nicole to pierce his ear and henna his hands just to spend time with her, tells a defeated Eddie that he cannot quit and that she wouldn't quit either. Jessica then goes to take the test and successfully passes it, gaining her realtor's license.[8]
Jessica's ex-boyfriend from college, Oscar Chow, comes to Orlando as he is auditioning for Aladdin on Ice and comes to stay at the Huang house during his visit. While Jessica is initially enthusiastic about seeing Oscar again, Honey voices her surprise that Louis allowed Jessica's ex-boyfriend to stay over, citing that Marvin would never allow such a thing, believing Honey to be such a catch that she couldn't be trusted around other men and because he would be jealous. This upsets Jessica, wondering why Louis isn't jealous about the possibility of Oscar getting back together with Jessica.
Louis explains to Jessica that he has no worries because Oscar is gay, much to Jessica's indignation, who protests against it. Louis explains that he is an ice dancer and only ever kissed her on the forehead, which Jessica rationalizes as him being an athlete doing physically demanding work and the forehead kisses attributed to being a gentleman. Louis informs her that her "gaydar" is broken, meaning that she cannot tell if people are gay. Jessica initially refutes this, but upon seeing Oscar wearing her bathrobe and complimenting its "swishyness", she realizes that he is in fact gay.
She goes to Honey's house to discuss the matter, wondering how she couldn't see it. Honey points out that Oscar has a look of love on his face on one his old photos, although Jessica, much to her shock, notices that Oscar is looking at Louis. This prompts Jessica to inform Louis that Oscar is in love with him; when Louis refuses the notion, Jessica responds that his "lovedar" is broken and that he cannot tell when people love him. Oscar admits the love he has for Louis, and Jessica is outraged when Oscar had bought a $150 French press for Louis as a gift but only purchased an Orlando sweatshirt from the airport as her gift. Saddened that she isn't the catch but Louis is, she leaves the house dejected, heading for the Denim Turtle.
Jessica is unable to tell that the Denim Turtle is a lesbian bar, merely explaining that she feels safe at the bar because it is all women and believing that the other women offer to buy her drinks because they are just being nice. Oscar and Louis come to visit her at the bar, where Jessica asks Oscar why he dated her if he was gay and asks him if it was because he felt sorry for her. Oscar replies that in order to hide his sexuality at the time, he decided to date the hottest girl in school, who was Jessica. Louis also adds that it is he who people should be jealous of for having Jessica, and Jessica is cheered up with the notion that it doesn't matter whether someone is gay or not so long as she is hot. Sometime later, Jessica and Louis watch Oscar's audition on television, both proudly declaring him to be their boyfriend.[9]
Now possessing a realtor's license, Jessica is hired by Ashley Alexander. Dismissing Ashley's initial listing of a condo in favor of something challenging, Jessica is tasked to sell a house situated on 44 West 44th Street, which is troubling for her as she is superstitious due to the number 4 being considered bad luck in Chinese culture due to it being pronounced sì (四), which sounds like the Chinese word for "death", sǐ (死). While she manages to sell the house with ever stepping foot inside of it, she refuses to cash in a check for $7,500 due to the check number being '4444'. While Louis is reluctantly supportive of her decision and watches as she rips up the check and throws it away, he tapes the pieces together and secretly cashes in the check, using it purchase a mechanical bull for the restaurant. However, when Eddie trips on the bull's cord and breaks his arm, Louis asks his sons not to tell Jessica and informs them that it is okay to tell a white lie at times. Louis soon receives a visit from Child Services after Eddie gave conflicting reasons at school for why his arm broke; Louis tells Eddie to tell her the truth, that he wasn't abused at home, although Eddie reveals the truth about the bull.
Jessica becomes angry that Louis cashed in the check with 'bad luck', claiming that they have invited the bad luck into their home and that was the reason Eddie was injured. Louis attempts to dismiss her notions as mere superstition, but when she tells him to remove his jade necklace, which he wears for superstitious reasons, he relents. Jessica then has a Chinese ritual done at the restaurant to ward off the bad luck much to the amusement of the Caucasian workers, particularly Vanessa, Mitch and Nancy, who comment on their "weird rituals" before throwing salt behind their backs.[10]
Jessica was soon called into Principal Thomas' office at Palms Elementary School to either volunteer after-school or donate money, with her choosing the former. She was then assigned to supervise the students during their rehearsal of their play, "The Sunflower Gang Goes to Yumland", designed to represent cultures equally and to not offend anyone. While Evan and Emery loved being in the play as it was fun, Jessica was against it, claiming that growing up, she wanted a Sparkle Time Beauty Horse for fun, a knock-off of "My Little Pony" that had a human face that burned you, but that her parents refused to get her one, instead imparting on her a strong work ethic.
Jessica eventually rewrites the play, eliminating the other students except Emery, Evan, and the one child who played "Gumdrop", with the character becoming "Bumdrop". Jessica's new play sends the message that being or wanting to be an actor is a failed career path, while Evan and Emery's characters pursuing academic and medical interests in order to become successful. Evan and Emery no longer wish to participate in the play, instead preferring to study, much to Jessica's joy. However, Louis asks her if it would be so bad for the kids to have a strong work ethic and have fun, claiming that it wouldn't have been bad for her parents to get her a pony while also giving her a strong work ethic. Jessica then reverts the play back to its original format, much to the children's glee, and watches along with Louis. She is then given a Sparkle Time Beauty Horse by Louis, who made phone calls to Taiwan in order to track one down and gift it to her.[11]
Jessica urges Louis to purchase a membership for them at the North Orlando Country Club after the Huangs were invited, believing it to be an ultimate symbol of their success. While Louis is reluctant to spend that much money, Jessica urges him to give it a chance and he is eventually won over. However, when Marvin Ellis responds to the Huangs' statements of them being the first Asian-American members that he forgot they were Chinese, this upsets Jessica, who fears they are losing hold of their ethnic identity. Upon realizing that she eats chip-wichs, watches Melrose Place, makes macaroni-and-cheese dinners and allows shoes to be worn in the house, along with the fact that her children cannot speak or understand Mandarin as well as Eddie's love for Jamaica, Jessica overhauls the entire family to be more culturally Chinese. She tells Louis to cancel the club membership, claiming that they cannot surround themselves by white people and attend country clubs if they are to maintain their cultural identity. This affects Eddie, who had chosen Jamaica as the country to represent for his school's "World Culture's Day" event, which Jessica forcing the principal to switch him to China. Jessica also dresses in a more Chinese manner at home and sends her sons to Chinese school in Tampa, two hours away, to learn Mandarin.
However, Louis has grown to like the club and lies to Jessica about cancelling the membership, but she realizes he went to the club due to his aftershave, although Louis discovers that she has stayed home to watch Melrose Place. Jessica laments that she likes the show and she likes making macaroni-and-cheese dinners and that she hates that she likes American culture, although Louis tells her that it is okay to like it and that they don't have to give up American culture to maintain their Chinese identity. Giving up on her attempts to make the family more Chinese, Jessica allows Eddie to switch back to Jamaica. After witnessing Eddie defend China at school, Louis tells Jessica that the kids would be fine. Shortly after, they all head to the country club, with Louis finally swapping out the family minivan's Washington, D.C. plates with Florida ones; custom ones that read "SO CHINEEZ". Jessica hopes that they have a white, blond valet, while Louis replies that a red-head would be good, too.[12]
Season 2[]
Louis informed his family that he was going away for two days for a franchisee conference; however, when Jessica noticed that he packed casual things including swimwear, she became suspicious and suggested that the whole family join him on his business trip, located at the Gator World hotel. Arriving at the hotel, Gator Carol informed Jessica that Louis had faxed his driver's license over in order to reserve a massage and a prime cut rib at a steakhouse. Louis attempted to keep up the pretext of it being a business trip, including seminars, increasing Jessica's suspicion. When Gator Carol asked how many people would be staying in the room, Jessica asked how many could stay before they incurred an additional charge, warning Louis of the hotel's hidden fees. Upon arriving inside the hotel room, Jessica turned up the air conditioning, burned the room service paper to hide its existence from the kids and packed all of the hotel's amenities inside her suitcase.
As Louis relaxed, Jessica took the kids to the pool, where she rebuffed Gator Octavio's attempts to give her a towel, citing that doing so would incur a towel-rental fee and that they would instead be using God's towel, the sun. However, she took the kids to Gator World park when Octavio mentioned that as they had outside food, they would be charged for it. Heading to Gator World, Jessica attempted to get into the park with their hotel reservation, only for Gator Dan to inform them that admission was extra: $45 for kids and $55 for adults. Jessica attempted to claim that her sons were 5 and under, although it did not work, causing them to return to the hotel. Jessica then spotted Louis have a casual lunch with the other franchisees and confronted him, as Louis claimed he would be attending back-to-back seminars.
Admitting to Jessica that was indeed a vacation, he explained how his past business trips were all vacations he took because he needed to do so, with Jessica replying that she cannot take a vacation without the entire family falling apart. He then tells Jessica to try relaxing, taking over her duties and handling the vacation himself, booking a massage for Jessica. Louis sends Eddie to Gator World and explains room service to Emery and Evan, allowing them to try it out.
During her massage, Jessica stays clothed, out of fear her pockets would be rifled through, and keeps her purse within her eye-line. Arielle, her masseuse, manages to talk her into letting go and relaxing, allowing Jessica to ease up. However, Louis is soon struck with a massive hotel bill filled with multiple hidden fees and charges. He approaches Jessica, who tells him that she couldn't protect him because she was relaxing. Louis then comes to the realization that he has the luxury of relaxing because Jessica looks out for him and the family, and Jessica tells him to giver her the bill.
Jessica approaches Gator Carol and tells her that they would not be paying any of the additional fees, claiming that Evan fell at the pool and his tooth fell out, which would be the resort's responsibility as there were no lifeguards or posted signage; additionally, Jessica manages to get an additional 10% discount with AAA. Returning to the van, Louis is shocked yet proud that Jessica got their charges waived and discounted, and Jessica thanks Evan for his help, calling him her baby. Emery then asks Evan if the story of his tooth falling out by slipping at the pool was true, only for Evan to respond that Jessica had pulled out his tooth with her hands.[13]
In "Boy II Man", Jessica dealt with Eddie defying her wishes for him to learn piccolo after school, wanting to "tutor" Nicole so he could spend more time with her. In addition to the Eddie issue, Louis wanted to have a daughter and kept trying to convince Jessica to have another child, much to her irritation, repeatedly telling him that the "shop is closed." She notified Honey that children were not old enough to be controlled and that life was a game of chess; she was the queen and the children were the pawns. In order to get Eddie to quit tutoring himself, she convinced Mr. Fisher to give him more students; this led to Nicole meeting and eventually dating Chris, much to Eddie's disappointment. As Eddie became depressed, electing not to eat and just listen to "End of the Road" by Boyz II Men on repeat, Jessica spoke with Honey, who told her what had transpired. Jessica then bought Eddie an alarm clock (she had been waking him up herself every morning) and spoke about her heart being broken in the past by Oscar Chow. With the pair making amends, Eddie took up piccolo while Louis dropped the idea of wanting a daughter, much to Jessica's satisfaction.[14]
For their wedding anniversary, Louis wished to take Jessica to Shaquille O'Neal Motors so that they could purchase a brand new 1995 Honda Accord, as their minivan is falling apart. However, Jessica was reluctant to tag along, due to the fact that on her wedding night, she negotiated a hard bargain to buy their minivan but ended up accidentally opting out of free floor mats, which dealers usually throw in for free. As a result, she was embarrassed and humiliated and did not like to be reminded of it every time their anniversary rolled around. Louis informs her that while she focuses on that one negative aspect as the night they got married, he focuses on the fact that it was the first thing they did as a married couple.
Louis then goes to the dealership himself and buys a brand new 1995 Honda Accord for full retail price, much to Jessica's shock and ire. Believing Louis got scammed, Jessica goes to the dealership and returns the car for the exact value Louis bought it for, although upon exiting the dealership, she realizes that Louis bought the car for full price on purpose in order to have her revisit a dealership. Jessica and Louis return to the dealership to repurchase the car, although Jessica claims that the car is now used and therefore should be sold at the price of a used Accord. Louis asks to speak to the manager as only the manager can authorize a deal, but Clark, the floor attendant, claims he is the manager. Jessica and Louis take Clark on an hour and a half test drive to the docks in Tampa, witnessing the 1996 Honda Accords in cargo, and Clark admits he is not the manager. Jessica and Louis return to the dealership and face various employees who claim to be the manager before encountering the real manager himself, who is none other than Shaquille O'Neal. Jessica negotiates a deal with Shaq and gets the brand new Accord at a discounted price, with the free floor mats and autographed shoe by Shaq to give to Eddie. Jessica is overjoyed at successfully winning a car negotiation and returns home with Louis. The next day, they appreciate their new car, although they continued driving the minivan out of fear of ruining the Accord.[15]
Jessica soon discovered that her mother-in-law, Jenny Huang, had been involved in a relationship with a man named Charles, who recently died. While she initially believes it was a secret Jenny kept, she soon discovers that she was the only one who was unaware, with Honey, Louis, Emery and Evan being aware of her relationship with Charles and his death as well. Finding out that a house she sold had been flipped and sold for more, she decides to approach Jenny and ask to borrow money after discovering that Charles left his remaining life savings to Jenny. Jessica attempts to charm Jenny and bring up the topic of borrowing money, although Jenny rebuffs her. Eventually, Jessica asks why Jenny hates her, and Jenny replies that Jessica is a cold person and is spoiled, and that Jessica never attempted to form a bond with her or talk to her unless she needed something. Jessica then makes amends with Jenny, buying her a grabber to steal pennies from the public fountain and, rather than borrowing the life savings Charles left for her, offers for Jenny to invest in the project together as a partner, 50/50. Jenny agrees and gives her the check, only for Jessica to be stumped that the total sum of Charles' bequeathing is just a mere $7,000. Jessica then takes on Honey as an investment partner instead.[16]
Jessica still used Jenny's $7,000 to invest, and within one week had successfully purchased and renovated a home. However, refusing termites were real, she neglected to have the property checked and exterminated and instead wished to have the home put on the market. However, the man she was speaking to was hesitant to get the paperwork out of his truck, as he would have to walk across teenage boys, whom he claimed picked out a person's vulnerability and made fun of them for it. Jessica, not seeing why an adult would fear teenage boys, got the paperwork herself, insulting the boys back when they heckled her. Returning home, Jessica encountered Louis, who had purchased Halloween costumes. As they now lived in the suburbs and in a white neighborhood, Louis wished to celebrate Halloween, although Jessica did not care for it, refusing to accept Louis' "Mrs. T bow-hawk". She later found her van vandalized with a penis drawn in the hood dust, which she initially mistook for a rocket. After the teenage boys claimed they would egg the house, Jessica took out her belt and attempted to whip them, while Honey restrained her, shouting that Jessica was not allowed to attack them. Jessica also attempted to throw her shoes at them to no avail as Honey continued to hold her back.
After failing to file a complaint at the police station after an officer told her it was a harmless Halloween prank, Jessica purchased all the eggs from all the stores in the neighborhood to prevent them from egging the investment property, only for the boys to notify her that they would not be throwing fresh eggs but rotten ones, citing that they purchased their eggs weeks ago. Returning home, Jessica ordered her children, who were dressed for Thanksgiving, to help her defend the property rather than go out trick-or-treating, although Louis immediately overturned her edict and let the children go. He then told her that egging the house was indeed a harmless prank and left to enjoy the Halloween festivities himself, much to Jessica's ire, who proclaimed that she hated Halloween as it gave people the license to do stupid things. Jessica and Honey, the latter dressed as Miss Piggy, stood on the porch ready to defend the house until Marvin arrived, dressed as Kermit the Frog, to pick up Honey so that they could attend an adults' Halloween party. Jessica was then left to protect the property alone until Louis arrived to help her, bringing with him their sons and Eddie's friends, although Dave pulls the door open prematurely and causes all the eggs to crack. Knowing that the teenage boys are coming, Jessica wonders what scares teenage boys, which gives Eddie an idea. He then calls Nicole and her friends to harass the boys, stating that teenage girls are what scare teenage boys. Joyful in her victory, Jessica agrees to spend the rest of the night taking her sons out trick-or-treating. Returning home, she dons a white T-shirt labeled "Mrs. T", claiming it was the best she would do, and snuggled up to the couch to Louis as the boys relished in their candy. Jessica proclaimed that the investment property was safe, unaware that a termite infestation had occurred.[17]
As a result of the termite infestation, Jessica had to spend more money to have the problem treated, and suggested that Louis go on the Good Morning Orlando talk show to promote the restaurant, which would increase their revenue. However, she was upset when Louis spent the interview doing impersonations and impressions, which Louis liked. She informed him that Chinese people were not featured on television a lot and thus when they were face, had to present a good face and not clown around; additionally, she claimed that watching Louis' antics reminded her of Long Duk Dong from one of Louis' favorite John Hughes movies, Sixteen Candles, a racist and stereotypical caricature whom Louis hated as he was constantly asked by his white friends in the past to impersonate him. Jessica tells Louis that Long Duk Dong gave people a wrong impression of how Chinese people acted and that he should return to the studio and be more serious, although Louis construed this as ranting about race during the next interview. Jessica then berated him for coming across as too serious and sending the message that Chinese people did not have a sense of humor, telling him to strike a balance between his two on-screen personas, although he replied that he was banned from the studio. She later watched with a smile as Louis intercepted a live news broadcast to apologize to the show's hosts and did a Michael Jackson impression, which endeared him to the hosts.[18]
On November 9, 1995, the day before Eddie's 12th birthday, Jessica and Louis were preparing to decorate the house and throw Eddie a birthday party. At that moment, Eddie returned from a "sleepover" prematurely, upset about the fact that due to Jessica's rules, he was the only one who didn't get to actually sleep over at a sleepover, although Jessica replied that she was protecting him from pedophilia. Jessica then informed Eddie that just because they lived in the suburbs didn't mean he would have birthdays at a bowling alley or pizza with a rat (referring to Chuck E. Cheese), although much to her surprise, Eddie responded that he didn't want a birthday party whatsoever, wishing to spend the day with his friends at the mall. No longer having to throw a party, Jessica and Louis decided to go to work instead. The next day, at the investment property as it was now treated for termites, Honey notified her that Nicole had once told her she didn't want a party, and when they obliged, she cried for a week straight as she actually wanted a surprise party. Jessica then contacts Louis to get balloons and decide to throw Eddie a surprise party, and head to the mall to invite his friends. However, arriving at the mall, they realize that Eddie has thrown himself his own party, having invited his own friends and arranged to have a cake; Louis states that Eddie probably wanted to have a party with just friends his age and no adults, only to see that Mitch was invited.
After Eddie returns home, Jessica and Louis confront Eddie on his secret party, and Eddie explains that he cannot be himself around them due to their rules and expectations and that he wanted to be himself and with his friends on his birthday. Going to bed, Jessica tells Louis that she believes he thinks Eddie is right about them being too strict, and Louis responds that they could loosen the rules. As a result, Jessica states that the next time Eddie has a sleepover, he could attend, and Eddie reveals that he has an open invite for a sleepover at Dave's that very night; while Jessica is reluctant, citing that she does not trust Dave and that not even Dave's father wishes to stay at the Selby house, she is coaxed by Louis into agreeing. Jessica soon heads to Honey's house to spy on him, with Louis following her to stop her, where she witnesses Eddie having fun. The two then return home, opting to stay up all night to wait for Eddie, only for Eddie to return in the middle of the night, claiming that he didn't have fun anymore and that while he liked hanging out with his friends, he liked staying at home, too. Jessica then offers to make birthday noodles and Eddie agrees; Louis points out that they take six hours to make, to which Jessica replies that she would still do it for her son. The three stay up at night making the noodles, and six hours later, while eating at the table, are joined by Evan and Emery. Jessica grounds her two younger sons for being up so late, but as they walk away, tells them to join them and eat noodles before heading to bed and then being grounded.[19]
At 5:30 in the morning before Thanksgiving weekend, Jessica paced around the phone waiting for her mother to call. She explained to Louis that her mother woke up at 4am to sweep the driveway and then, at 5:30, decided which of her two daughters would host Thanksgiving. While she had always chosen Connie in the past, Jessica divulges that she had been sending her mother crates of Florida oranges with her face on them to sway her. At that moment, her mother calls and announces that Jessica's family would be hosting Thanksgiving that year. However, things swiftly go awry; while Evan and Emery succeed in getting the table decorated, Louis' cornish hens are delivered live and, while he does procure a turkey, forgets to turn the oven on, causing it to be raw. Additionally, Louis, who was meant to spend the night prepping, got drunk with Steve and passed out on the driveway. This infuriated Jessica, although she kept a calm exterior, informing Louis that she was a calm angry, which was much more scarier.
Connie, who wished to take her mother's favoritism back, loudly proclaimed that she and Steve were having marriage problems to gain their mother's sympathy, although her ploy did not work much since Jessica invited Oscar Chow, whom her mother was a fan of. Connie then saw Jessica using a hair dryer on the raw turkey and notified the rest of the family before going out to Glenn's to buy a turkey fryer, which cooks in less than an hour. Knowing that Connie was doing this to gain favor, Jessica drove to Glenn's and ambushed her. Connie then explained that she had done so because Thanksgiving is the one time where she gets attention for the right reasons, and that Jessica should let her have it as she had a stable marriage and work life. Jessica then bought the fryer, stating that she would bring it to Connie's house next year when she hosted Thanksgiving. After Thanksgiving, Louis was glad that they had pulled it off and asked Jessica if she was still mad that he got drunk and ruined it, to which she replied with a smile that she was super-mad but would wait until tomorrow once the guests left.[20]
Jessica and Honey managed to get the termites treated in their investment property and were preparing to have it listed on the market. Honey thought that they should serve quiches at the open house and attend a team-building workshop seminar, which Jessica shut down as being a waste of money. Honey accepted this until discovering that Jessica spend $500 of their money every month on a fortune teller named Madame Xing, and wished to understand why Jessica thought fortune-telling was worth $500 a month but refused to spend less than that on quiches and a seminar. They then called Madame Xing, who warned them not to sell the property for three months as there was "darkness" in the house that needed to be cleansed. While Jessica construed this as wise advice, Honey believed it to be a scam and berated Jessica for not believing in her ideas; as Jessica replied that Honey's ideas were bad, Honey replied that she was a sucker for being scammed by Madame Xing, which led to Jessica immediately ending their friendship.
Jessica sent Evan to return Honey's belongings but found herself to be alone and missing Honey's company. At the same time, they had a house guest named Barry, whom Louis had invited to stay, although Jessica told him to get rid of Barry as he was a leech whom Louis lived with for two months who just wanted money from them. Afterwards, she approached Jenny Huang as she realized Jenny was alone like her, and Jenny told her that while she was indeed lonely, she found it better to be right during arguments then to have friends. Jessica realized Honey was her best friend, and not wanting to lose her, went back to her; however, as Jessica could not bring herself to apologize for her actions, she merely attempted to pretend like nothing ever happened, which Honey responded with by informing her that she could not do that and that their friendship truly was over. Jessica returned home and spoke to Louis about it, who told her that she needed to apologize to Honey if she wanted a chance at rebuilding their friendship. Jessica then attended the workshop and made peace with Honey, agreeing to have quiches at the open house. Jessica also forewent Madame Xing's advice, deciding to trust Honey, and put the house on the market, only for them to be notified that their was black mold in the attic and that they could not put the house on the market as it would take three months to eradicate it.[21]
As the Christmas season began, Jessica began to decorate the house, including "Jessicatown", a small Christmas town of her creation where she gave all the character statues there names, personas and backgrounds. Louis walks in and appraises her town, sadly noting the gap where the bakery was meant to be, that they were unable to locate and purchase. Louis notices the discarded Santa and remarks that Jessica still has the same feelings for Santa, to which she elaborates that she does not like him as he does not possess a higher degree and is either an over-glorified toymaker or a deliveryman. She wishes to improve on Santa, and decides to tell Evan that Santa is a scientist and graduated from Princeton, using his degree to patent his high-tech sleigh and using the money from the patent to make all the toys. This causes issues as the family is heading to Cattleman's Ranch for a holiday breakfast where "Santa" would be present, and Evan would no doubt ask "Santa" a ton of math and science questions. Jessica and Louis realize that they need an older white man who is smart and enjoys having children on his lap, and they decide to ask Marvin, who has his much younger wife Honey on his lap. Jessica presents Marvin with binders on math and science in case Evan asks questions and Marvin agrees.
At Cattleman's, Jessica receives the bakery she was looking for as a gift from Honey. Evan is enthusiastic when he meets "Santa", with Marvin answering his questions. However, Mitch shows up as Santa as well, confusing Evan. Jessica then decides to "reveal the truth" to Evan and tells him that the real Santa is Chinese. While Evan initially believes her, he becomes confused when he declares during a school concert that Santa is Chinese only to have every parent there refute him. Jessica then calls Honey for help, and has Jessica apply makeup on her and disguise her as a Chinese Santa Claus. She then hides gifts and allows Evan to see her, telling her that she is the real Santa, known as lao ban Santa (Boss Santa in Mandarin), and that she visits houses on the 23rd of December and hides the presents which the white Santas then place under the tree on the 24th. Jessica then goes to bed, and Evan tiptoes in to see if Jessica was actually lao ban Santa, although he believes it when he sees her asleep in bed. On Christmas morning, Jessica's bakery is destroyed by Jenny, allowing Eddie to allow Emery to present his replica as a gift and for him to present her with film canister earrings. After Christmas, Jessica tells Louis to study up on lao ban Santa, and when he offers alternative suggestions, she retorts then he shouldn't try to improve on tradition, something he had repeatedly told her earlier when she attempted to modify Santa's origins.[22]
A few months later, Jessica and the rest of the Huangs prepared to fly back to Chinatown in Washington, D.C. in order to celebrate Chinese New Year. Jessica was excited to be with her family again and celebrate the holiday, but was very upset when they found out they had missed their flight, as Louis had told them it was on Friday the 15th, while the 15th was actually on the Thursday. In order to celebrate Chinese New Year at home, Louis went through the White Pages phone book to find Chinese surnames, but could not find a single one. Jessica then found a number for the Asian-American Association of Orlando, and upon calling, was greeted by a man named Rick, who invited them to celebrate the holiday. However, upon arriving at the "party", Jessica was aghast to discover that not only were there no Chinese members (most of them were Caucasian), but that they did not know anything about Chinese New Year or its festivities. As recompense, Louis arranged for a makeshift festivity at Cattleman's, which impressed Jessica, who was touched. Louis informed her that it was not that people didn't care about Chinese New Year but rather that they did not know, and Jessica offered to answer any questions about the holiday, although she soon got fed up of answering so many questions by her curious friends.[23]
As the Huang family were preparing to go Marvin and Honey's house for dinner, Jessica noticed that Emery was hanging all the Valentines cards he got on his wall, which he dubbed his "love wall". Emery informed his parents that he got his romantic side from them, although Louis and Jessica pointed out that they had met at a seafood restaurant waiting in line for the bathroom. The family then went next door for dinner. Afterwards, Honey told Marvin that all Louis and Jessica spoke about was work and since the next day was Valentine's Day, they should offer to take the boys for the night in order to allow Louis and Jessica a romantic night alone. Louis and Jessica agreed, claiming they would go out for dinner and dancing, although in reality the pair chose to stay at home and enjoy a quiet night of filing their taxes. Emery soon walked in on them and was surprised that this is how they spent their alone time together, and began to dismantle his love wall, citing that he thought he wanted what his parents had, but that he wasn't sure. He then added that he had never seen the pair share a romantic kiss, and while Louis and Jessica attempted to do so, they ended up hurting the other.
They relocated to the kitchen, claiming they were still romantic but just couldn't kiss in front of an audience. As they continued to file their taxes, Jessica pointed out that their van was serviced and she wasn't aware of it, and Louis responds that he had forgotten to tell her but that he had done it as she was driving important clients and he wanted her to make a good impression, unaware that Emery was listening. As Emery had been told by Marvin that real romance was in the small, loving gestures, Emery reassembled his love wall. Louis and Jessica walked past his room and witnessed it, and he apologized to them for his behavior, giving them a tax rebate love coupon as a token, although Jessica pointed out that he had used the wrong tax return form.[24]
Jessica returned home with her sons after going out grocery shopping and discovered that Louis purchased a computer with Internet access and had it set up in the living room. Louis then told them that they would have to take a course on how to use it, although Evan immediately began using the computer and the Internet as he was already well-versed. Evan searched up Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse and a review it was given by the website "Phil's Phaves", with Emery pointing out that Cattleman's had been given a B-minus, which Louis and Jessica declared to be a Chinese "F". Jessica initially dismissed the website's review but they were both aghast when they discovered it had over a hundred views. Louis declared that he wished he could reach out to Phil and have him return to Cattleman's and give it a better review, and Evan, on his parents' behalf, contacted the webmaster of the site and extended the invitation. That night, Louis and Jessica stared at the website's view count in hopes it did not increase, although Evan notified them that they would have to refresh the page, which revealed an increase in page visits. Evan then decided to see whether they received an e-mail back and informed them that Phil had responded.
Louis and Jessica added new decor to the restaurant and gave the employees hats in anticipation of Phil's visit, only to find out that Phil was none other than Phillip Goldstein. Louis and Jessica believed now that Phillip knew they owned the restaurant he would change his grade, although Phillip refused. Jessica asked Phillip in Chinese to "help a sister out", only for Phillip to inform her that he did not understand Chinese. Louis and Jessica had Phillip waited on-foot, which Phillip detested, and he gave them an updated review with a lower grade, that of a C-plus. As a result, Louis and Jessica then went to the Goldstein house to talk with his mother, who refused to have the site taken down as she and her husband advocated journalistic integrity to their son. Louis then asked to use their restroom, although in reality he stole the mouse from their computer, believing it crippled Phillip's access to the Internet and would shut down the site, and Jessica praised him as a genius; however, Evan notified them that the site would still be active regardless.
Jessica and Louis then had Evan create "PhillipGoldsteinHasBadOpinions.com" to slander Phillip, giving Phillip the choice of either having his name smeared or to take down his bad review of Cattleman's. However, Phillip merely informed his principal and the police about the cyberbullying, and claimed that while he had his suspicions (having confronted Louis and Jessica before), he would not oust the perpetrators as he had no proof. As Officer Bryson declared that their cyber crimes unit would investigate the matter during a parent assembly at the school, Jessica got up and blamed Louis for buying the computer, prompting Louis to announce that the website was Jessica's doing. As a result of their admission, the pair were given thirty hours of community service to fulfill, with Jessica asking Louis whether he would sign in for her on her behalf; additionally, they decided to store away their home computer for the time being.[25]
Eddie, Emery and Evan returned home after school one day with Evan proudly notifying his mother that he and Emery had taken career aptitude tests which told them what career best suited their personality. Jessica was initially against it, citing that it was her job to tell her kids what career to pursue and not the school's, although she stopped when she realized the school had assigned Evan the career of Surgeon General. Jessica praised Evan for the selection, citing that he would be a doctor with the power of the military and that he could stage a coup no one would suspect, only to tell herself that the only person the coup would be against would be the president, which she assumed Emery had been given. However, much to her displeasure, Emery had been given the career of a flight attendant, which Emery was happy with as he loved travel, snacks, and being helpful, adding that being a flight attendant checked all three boxes. As Emery walked away, Jessica attempted to discourage him, saying that flight attendants didn't even get a seat on the plane and even referring to them as the "homeless of the sky."
The family was then invited by Louis to watch what he referred to as the "Asian Super Bowl", which were Michael Chang's tennis matches. Eddie and Evan left, as they found tennis to be boring, although Emery was immersed in it, being interested in the sport. Jessica was initially dismissive of the sport until hearing that Michael Chang made millions of dollars, and wished to foster Emery's interest in tennis as a result. The trio headed to the country club to play tennis, where they were surprised at Emery's skill in the game despite never having played before. Tennis pro Billie Jean King, who had been watching, praised Emery's talent, informing Louis and Jessica that he had an innate skill for the game. Jessica then attempted to have Emery receive lessons from the country club, but upon hearing that lessons were $90 an hour, instead decided to have Louis take a few lessons so that he could teach Emery second-hand for free. While Louis wanted to play in father-son competitions and have a tennis rivalry with his son, Jessica wanted him to gain athletic scholarships and become wealthy. Jessica became his manager and Louis his coach, with Jessica making him victory dumplings and both of them rubbing his legs after his victories. Since Jessica wanted Emery to have no distractions, she forced Eddie to give up his room to Emery, causing Eddie to share the bunk bed with Evan.
Jessica created an extreme training schedule for Emery, which resulted in tennis, school and then more tennis for every day without a break. Louis was against this, claiming that he just wanted Emery to develop a healthy passion for the sport and that Jessica was going overboard as Emery was only ten. This resulted in Jessica telling Emery that in order to truly focus on his career, he would have to fire Louis, giving Emery a speech to use as well. While Emery did fire Louis, Emery ended up using Jessica's own speech to fire her as well, instead taking on Billie Jean King as his coach and manager, as she had offered to do it for free. While lying in bed at home, Jessica and Louis overheard Billie Jean King training Emery at night, where she "rewarded" him by making him run laps; Jessica praised her ability to disguise punishments as rewards. Jessica and Louis then attempted to watch Emery's games, but since Jessica often shouted and belittled the umpire at Emery's games, she was banned from attending the tournament. Emery eventually won the tournament but was informed that he would have to move to a tennis academy four hours away in Coral Gables to advance his career, which he did not want to do. As she did not want her son to move away from her, Jessica instantly agreed, informing him that she would support whatever decision he made, only for Emery to respond that he still wanted to travel the world as a flight attendant, irking her. Jessica then procured a brochure for space camp, which she left on Emery's bed, informing him that astronauts were like the flight attendants of space. As Louis attempted to remind her that she had agreed to support Emery no matter what, she added that if her son was going to be a flight attendant, he would have to be the best kind of flight attendant.[26]
Jessica began to get irritated as Louis kept crashing her "girl time" with Honey, as he was no longer staying behind to close up the restaurant, having defected those duties to Mitch instead. The pair attempt to hide at the Denim Turtle, although Louis follows them there, too. Honey asks Jessica if Louis was as 'present' in D.C. as he is now, and Jessica explains that he was not as he spent his free time playing pool with a friend named Hank. Jessica then finds three pool halls in their vicinity and ushers Louis to reinvigorate his love for pool, wanting him to find a friend, thereby spending less time with her and Honey, explaining to Honey that while Louis is friendly, he doesn't have a close or best friend in Orlando. Jessica is initially enthusiastic about Louis successfully making a friend named Tony and playing pool with 'him' at night, only for Louis to reveal that Tony is a woman. Jessica becomes irate at the thought of Louis hanging out with another woman, claiming that adults should not have friends of the opposite sex. Honey attempts to comfort her, assuring her that as it is the '90s now, adults could have opposite sex friends, citing that she and Marvin were friends first before realizing that Marvin was married at the time and that he had cheated on his wife to be with Honey.
Jessica and Honey make their way to the pool hall, witnessing Tony and Louis play, with Honey admitting that Tony looks sexy. Jessica then approaches Tony and asks her why she has a "man's name" (she reveals it is short for Antonia) and calls her a demon and a witch before ushering Louis away. Jessica later tells Louis that he cannot hang out with a woman at night and adds several other stipulations, such as the woman not being younger than her, could not weigh less than her, could not or ever wanted to be a gymnast, or be taller than her. After Louis assures her that he isn't interested in Tony other than someone to play pool with, Jessica offers a compromise: Louis could play pool with Tony, but it would have be at the Denim Turtle, under the watchful eye of Deb and the other women.[27]
Following Louis injuring his knee and being confined at home in a cast, Jessica offers to manage Cattleman's in his absence, especially with Cattleman's new to-go takeout service premiering that very day, citing that the Cattleman's staff is incompetent. However, Louis tells Jessica that she cannot fire anyone, as that is Jessica's go-to decision whenever she is in charge. Jessica attempts to use the threat of firing to keep the employees in line, especially Nancy and Mitch, although Mitch reveals that Louis had paged them in advance to notify them that Jessica was not allowed to fire anyone. This upset Jessica, who exclaimed that she could not rule without fear, and was forced to watch as Nancy and Mitch clowned around. However, after a family who had ordered in advance to pick-up their food asked if they could dine in instead, Jessica informs the family that because they called in advance and paid for their food already, the tip was not included, and that they could use this tactic in the future to dine-in at the restaurant and avoid paying the wait staff any tips, much to Nancy and Mitch's ire. Jessica returns home and finds the kids alone, who inform her that Louis went out to a specific diner for coffee right as they got home. Heading to the diner, Louis explains that he ran out because he can't handle having the kids to himself all day and spending too much time with them as he cannot entertain them for that long, citing himself as the good cop and Jessica as the bad cop, although Jessica views herself as the good cop.
Returning to work, Jessica takes the tactic even further by creating "Cattleman's To-Go To-Stay" and announces this loophole publicly, causing many customers to use this feature to avoid paying gratuities. As a response, Nancy and Mitch call in fake take-out orders, which upsets Jessica as they wasted Louis' money and food in doing so. She receives a phone call from a baseball coach, who places a take-out order of 20 cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and milkshakes among other orders, and Jessica, believing it is another fake order, goes along with it as she believes it to be Mitch on the other end, only for Mitch to be behind her and not on a phone. Jessica returns home to complain about their wasteful actions to Louis, only to find out that Louis had the kids cut off his cast in order to entertain them. The family then goes to the hospital, where Jessica is notified that they must wait six hours, as the doctors will prioritize life-and-death patients over Louis. Jessica attempts to use Louis' mortality as a reason for her being given the power to fire, although he refuses. She then leaves him at the hospital, telling Louis to spend the remaining six hours with his children.
Jessica goes back to Cattleman's and finds out that the baseball team is actually there, with Nancy and Mitch going overboard to cater to their every need. Feeling bad for them and realizing that they are indeed competent, Jessica asks the coach if he would tip them, although he refuses to do so, stating that he used Cattleman's To-Go To-Stay feature for the very purpose of avoiding tipping. After the team leaves, Jessica tips Nancy and Mitch out of her own pocket, praising the two for their hard work, and shuts down the To-Stay program. Sometime later, Jessica accompanies Louis to the hospital where has his new cast removed, although they find out that the muscle mass in his leg has decreased. As Louis cries out that he went from a man's leg to a baby's leg, Jessica quips that his leg does not smell like a baby's leg.[28]
While picking up Evan and Emery after school in the Accord, Jessica announced her admiration of the zippering practice the school lanes used for efficiency. However, much to her ire, she was cut off by a woman who did not respect the 'zipper'. Jessica then put the car in park and stormed her way to the other car, arguing with the woman there and referring to her as an idiot, only to find out that the woman was the mother of J.J., one of Evan's closest friends. The woman, named Helen, soon informed Jessica that Evan was not invited to J.J.'s upcoming birthday party that weekend. Since Evan was looking forward to the party, Jessica attempted to apologize to Helen, citing it was a mutual wrongdoing that was mostly Helen's fault, but telling herself that it was for her angel Evan, brought herself to utter the words "I'm sorry", although much to her displeasure, while Helen accepted the apology, she still claimed Evan was not invited.
On the day of J.J.'s birthday party, Jessica witnessed Evan deciding what to wear and contemplated telling him that he wasn't invited, before deciding to merely show up anyways and drop Evan off, much to Helen's discontent. Jessica then explained to Helen that their argument should not affect their sons, and Helen revealed that while she agreed, the reason Evan was not invited was not due to their argument but because Evan bossed her son around. The two then witnessed Evan berate J.J. for placing pirate LEGO on a construction site and order him to tear it down and build it again, with Evan even going as far as to make J.J. change his outfit. Jessica then left and went to Honey's house, notifying her of Evan's bossy behavior and wondering where he got it from. Honey laughed and responded that Evan got it from her, and as Jessica disagreed, she told Honey that she was making her sandwich wrong and ordered her to tear it down and make it again. Honey then suggested that perhaps Evan was emulating her because he looked up to her.
While at the North Orlando Chili Cook-Off, Jessica sent Emery away so that she could speak to Evan privately, telling him that she saw how he treated J.J. and claiming that she understood he was copying her because he worshiped her; however, Evan refuted her belief, stating that he did not worship her but that he bossed J.J. around because J.J. was the only person who ever listened to him, adding that no one listened to him at home, citing prior examples where his wishes were shot down. To make amends, Jessica informed the family later at dinner that Evan would be deciding what to drink with their dinner tonight (earlier Evan had suggested drinking juice instead of water, only for Jessica to refuse); however, as Evan listed multiple suggestions for beverages, he sighed in disappointment as Jessica told him they didn't have any of those drinks at home.[29]
Jessica and Louis sat down in their home kitchen to do their "week in review", where they planned out their upcoming week. However, complications arise when Eddie is sent home from school as he has contracted lice, which Jessica believes he received from his sleepover at Dave Selby's house. Jessica also sits down with Honey to discuss their investment property, and Jessica needs professional photos taken of the house to use in a listing. Since she must deal with Eddie's lice, Honey offers to take the photos for her, although Honey's images do not showcase the house at all, much to Jessica's dismay. To make matters worse, Evan has lice as well, forcing both parents to keep their two sons outside and, while wearing hazmat suits, to give them lice conditioning shampoo; while Evan is cured, Eddie intentionally washes the shampoo off in order to retain his lice.
Jessica soon gets lice, and much to her shock, Louis announces that he would be leaving her temporarily and moving in with Honey and Marvin. Louis declares that his career is more important than Jessica's and blames her for the children gaining lice despite it not being her fault, citing it's because she is the mother; additionally, Louis attempts to justify that he does in fact support her career by stating that he cleaned and vacuumed the past week and even helped Emery with a school project, although Jessica retorts that he was just being a parent. Jessica is then left to fend for herself, although Louis soon returns, having had a talk with Honey. Louis presents her with photos he had taken of the investment house for her listing, and tells her that he isn't as evolved as he thinks and that he wants them to be equal partners. He then goes in for a hug, which Jessica initially protests against as he may get lice, although he responds that they'll simply have lice together; Jessica adds that he if does get lice, he would have to stay outside like Eddie does, and Louis responds that he knows.[30]
Jessica invited the neighborhood women along with Honey and Marvin to her house to watch an episode of Melrose Place, only to be shocked to learn about the existence of season finales and how she must wait months for the next episode. Needing something to abate her blues, Honey suggests that Jessica buy a pool for the house, which she does, although she is notified by Evan that having an above-ground pool is subject to approval by the Home Owners Association (HOA), and that failure to abide would result in daily fines. Much to Jessica's surprise, Deidre and the rest of the neighborhood women that comprise the HOA vote against the pool and a cow mailbox that Lisa, a fellow HOA member, had wanted. Honey convinces Jessica that Deidre must have some secrets of her own that they could find, and upon sneaking outside of her house, witness the fact that she secretly wears a wig, which they find as a betrayal to Carol-Joan, who had been constantly using olive oil on her hair at night as per Deidre's advice so she could have the same hair, even at the expense of driving Carol-Joan's husband to sleep in the guest room.
Jessica and Honey, the latter having taken photos as evidence, inform Carol-Joan of Deidre's secret, and are surprised when Carol-Joan reveals that Deidre has another secret: an illegal herb garden in her backyard. As herb gardens are illegal in the neighborhood and one guilty of the infraction having their membership revoked, Deidre is kicked out of the HOA and the rest of the association approve Jessica's pool and Lisa's cow mailbox. However, Deidre, wearing a black wig, approaches Jessica at her house and informs her that she had been played by Evan and Honey, revealing that the HOA by-laws allow herb gardens planted before August 1988 and that hers had been planted in 1987, making it legal. Jessica then confronts Evan and Honey about it, with the latter apologizing, although Jessica found the entire ordeal exciting and similar to Melrose Place. With Deidre being reinstated in the HOA, they lose their pool once more, much to the chagrin of Eddie, Emery, and Louis. Jessica then insults the vest Louis had liked wearing, prompting Louis to storm off in anger.[31]
After their toaster breaks, the family heads to the bank so that Evan can open a new account, which comes with a free toaster. Evan is conflicted whether to use his American name or his Chinese name 'Chih Fu', and is aghast when he discovers the name Evan was given randomly, having been named after a nurse named Evans. Jessica then tries to tell him that names aren't as important by revealing that she struggled when using her Chinese name Chu Tsai Hsai, with a professor in college refusing to call upon her as he couldn't pronounce her name. After the professor suggested that she rebrand her name, she revealed that she called herself 'Bob' for a week after her favorite haircut but switched to Jessica, named after The Allman Brothers Band song of the same name, as she had discovered that Bob was the most common name used for males. Louis points out that if Jessica was trying to convince Evan that names aren't important, then her story did not help. Eventually Evan comes to a decision, although Louis can not decipher the name used. Jessica, however, responds that it was the signature of a doctor and that it did not matter what first name he used since everyone would refer to him as 'Dr. Huang' anyways.[32]
The investment property is now on the market, and an interest party, a man named Mr. Jaffrey, agrees to purchase the house. However, he explains that he would not be moving in, but rather than would rent it, adding that the rent money would pay for the house multiple times over. Jessica then kicks him out of the house and decides to become a landlord instead, although she foregoes credit reports and insurance, among other stuff, believing she would find the perfect renters. She eventually meets Jordan and Raquel, a couple that claimed to have taken the LSATs but have now switched into medicine as it is more lucrative, and have no plans to have children. Jessica believes them to the perfect tenants and cashes in their check, only for the bank to notify them that the check has bounced. Unable to tell Honey and Jenny about it, Jessica gives them their share out of her own account. She then discovers that they are squatters, who did clinical tests for money and did study law, only to drop out as they found it boring and expensive.
Jessica speaks with Officer Bryson, who tells her that the law is on their side, and subsequently decides to have Jerry shut off the heat and water, although the squatting couple manage. Jessica eventually comes clean to Honey and manages to sell the house to someone else, citing that Jordan and Raquel would now be the new house owner's problem. She then gives Honey and Jenny their shares by cutting them checks, but convinces them to reinvest with her in condominiums.[33]
Eddie asked Jessica to sign a permission slip for a field trip although she refused, telling him that a field trip was a waste of her taxpayer money and that he should just stay at school and study at the library, which upsets Eddie. However, once Honey informs Jessica that the trip was to Colonial Floridatowne, Jessica agrees to allow Eddie to go, as she loves the Colonial American work ethic, although she tags along as a parent chaperone. Eddie, who is grouped with Walter, Brian, Trent and Dave, believes that Jessica's chaperone will ruin their trip, although to his surprise Jessica becomes "Fun Mom", taking them off the class itinerary and going rogue in order to have fun. Eddie is then upset, as he had believed that Jessica was incapable of having fun and has come to the realization that since Jessica can have fun, she had willingly chosen to be a strict parent.
At home, Jessica explains to Eddie that she cannot be the "Fun Mom" all the time and that "Fun Mom" could not make him do homework and clean his room at the same time. Eddie comes to the realization that he can have fun because his mom does not, and decides to wake up by himself early and get dressed to save his mother some time. Jessica is appreciative of his consideration, although remarking that she can tell he did not shower, and noting that they now have thirty minutes of spare time, decides to play Super Mario Brothers with him before he heads off to school.[34]
With Emery's graduation from elementary school on the horizon, Louis and Jessica decide to host a post-graduation all-you-can-eat chicken dinner at Cattleman's, with their three sons allowed to bring a friend. Evan initially declares he would invite J.J. although Louis vetoes it, prompting Evan to ask his mother to be his date, which Jessica accepts, privately telling Louis that it meant they would have one less mouth to feed. Eddie states he would invite his girlfriend, Alison, who is performing at Emery's graduation, shocking Jessica as she had no idea Eddie had a girlfriend. Louis tells Jessica that he met Alison and that she's great and Eddie reaffirms this by stating that Jessica would love her, to which Jessica replies by asking Eddie to do the math and check how many people she loves.
Eddie decides to bring Alison home before the graduation dinner so that the two women could get better acquainted; Jessica is initially hesitant as she wanted Eddie to have a Chinese girlfriend, only to be shocked when a Chinese girl named 'Alison' appears. Jessica is touched by 'Alison' taking off her shoes as she enters their home as well as 'Alison' buying oranges wholesale. In reality, 'Alison' is Audrey, a Chinese friend of the real Alison, whom Alison sent a panicked response to Jessica wanting a Chinese girlfriend for Eddie. The next evening, Jessica invites 'Alison' to the house for Mah-jong when Eddie shows up with the real Alison. Eddie, noting Jessica's happiness with Audrey, claims that the real Alison is a Girl Scout selling cookies when Jessica asks who she is.
At Emery's graduation, Eddie sits next to Jessica and watches as Jessica tries to call out to "Alison", although Audrey doesn't respond. After Emery gives a speech and praises Jessica for wanting what's best for her sons and Eddie for always being honest and speaking his mind, both Eddie and Jessica make a confession to one another, Eddie declaring that the Chinese girl she knows to be Alison is not his girlfriend and Jessica declaring that she does not like "Alison". Eddie explains what the real Alison did and Jessica states that the real Audrey is too perfect, likening her to tofu, soaking everything up while having no flavor of her own, and tells Eddie that he deserves a girlfriend who has a personality like him. Jessica then asks which girl is the real Alison, and Eddie points her out, and Jessica is impressed when she sees that Alison is on the first chair on piccolo. Jessica then tells Eddie that perhaps it's okay for him to have a non-Chinese girlfriend so long as she is Chinese at heart.
In the aftermath of the graduation, the family plus Alison head to Cattleman's, where Jessica is impressed by Alison, especially when Alison explains that she is so good at piccolo due to constant practice and that she had decided to learn the piccolo due to the various unclaimed piccolo scholarships. Eddie attempts to spend time with Alison, although Jessica tells him to be a gentlemen and get them more chicken; as he complies, Jessica tells Alison that the boys have to be trained young. Louis then notices that Audrey, who had come to the dinner as Emery's date, is piling all of their chicken thighs on a single plate, and Jessica wonders out loud why Emery couldn't find himself a nice girlfriend like Eddie did. Evan then appears at the restaurant in his new suit, and holds his hand out for Jessica, referring to her as M'Mommy, and she accepts. The Huang family plus Alison later watch Malcolm X at the Huang house, although the three Huang sons flee when Jessica brings up the water bill.[35]
Jessica notified Louis that his brother Gene Huang had called, whom Louis had had a fight with. Evan then told Jessica that Eddie was trying to watch Chris Rock's Bring the Pain and that it was Rated R. Jessica then told Eddie that he could not watch it, claiming that she had heard about the special on the Nightly News and believed it would instigate a race riot. Louis then told Jessica that Gene was coming to visit them and that he had big news to share with them. Jessica decided to go pay Honey a visit and notify her of Gene's visit, adding that she had met him once when she and Louis went to Taiwan following their engagement, disclosing that Gene did something that made her feel uncomfortable. Honey asked if Gene had made a pass at her, citing that Marvin's brother Marlon was always trying to get with her, although Jessica revealed that Gene had loaned her $200 so that she could buy Louis' ring, and that he refused to accept her money when she tried to pay him back.
Jessica spent most of Gene's visit trying to pay him back, before deciding to cut a hole in his bag to place the money. Gene stumbled onto the scene and told her that he had forgotten about it, but that if paying him back meant so much to her, she could, surprised that she would go to such lengths for it. Jessica then went to bed content that her debt had been paid, only for Louis to inform her that she shouldn't have paid him back since he owes them thousands of dollars, revealing that he has been sending money to his younger brother for years. Shocked, Jessica's train of thought was interrupted by a crashing noise in the living room, and they saw that Gene had broken their piano. Jessica then witnessed Gene and Louis argue and discovered that their father only had enough money to send one of them to the United States, and while Louis and Gene were both engaged in a "Chinese polite fight", Louis broke it and accepted it, much to Gene's anger.
As a result of their fight, Gene takes Grandma Huang and returns to Taiwan, leaving a note disinviting them for the wedding. In response, Louis tells them that they would be going to Taiwan, and Jessica, noting that Eddie, Emery and Evan are watching Bring the Pain, simply tells them to turn off the "race riot."[36]
Season 3[]
Arriving in Taiwan, Jessica informed the Customs Agent that she was here to get money back from her brother-in-law who wronged her, to which the agent told her to check that box on the form. As Louis displayed surprise that such an option was on the form, Jessica merely smiled and stated that she was home. Outside the airport, as they were loading their taxi, Louis asked why Jessica had brought an empty suitcase, and Jessica responded that it was to store things she would purchase from the night market to bring back home, such as school clothes and Christmas gifts. Jessica then heard Evan mention that they were tourists and told him that they weren't since this was their home, despite Evan mentioning that they (he and his brothers) had never been to Taiwan before.
Jessica initially relished being back in Taiwan, looking forward to eating seafood soup and shopping at the night market, although she was unable to get the lunch she wanted, forced to go to McDonalds instead, and ended up buying the bad counterfeits at the night market, with Big Auntie telling her that her negotiating muscle had atrophied. While attending Gene and Margaret's wedding, Louis suggested that they move back to Taiwan for a better life. Jessica, however, stated that she missed Orlando and wanted to have a bagel, and that while they could have a better life in Taiwan by using connections, they had earned their success on their own back in the States. Jessica added that no one loved the USA more than Louis and that he would miss it if they moved to Taiwan, with Louis stating that Jessica would miss Taiwan when she returned back to Orlando, prompting Jessica to solemnly declare that perhaps they would not feel at home in either location. Upon returning back home, Jessica was vexed to discover that someone had left the air conditioning running in their absence.[37]
Jessica and Louis installed televisions at Cattleman's to show the 1996 Summer Olympics, which brought in more crowds and increased the restaurant's success. Jessica cheered for Nigeria during the Olympics; as Evan and Emery wondered why she didn't support the USA or Chinese Taipei, the latter being her homeland, Jessica merely replied that her homeland was whoever was the best, and that was who she would root for. Returning home, the pair noticed a watermelon on the floor that Eddie had dropped, and Jessica lamented that she wished she had help cleaning around the house.
As a result, Louis hired a housekeeper named Mary, although Jessica was extremely offended by it, crowding over as Mary cleaned. She got into a fight with Louis about it, but allowed Mary to clean as she was paid for it before driving her home, although not before exacting gas money from her. Jessica was soon called into Cattleman's so that Mary could clean once more, having been hired again by Louis. While appreciative of Mary's cleaning, Jessica explained that this is what she was afraid of, that they would hire people to cut their grass or do their taxes. Louis wondered why it was bad to do so if they could afford it, and Jessica explained that family are meant to do things for each other instead of hiring it; Louis added that he hired people at Cattleman's to do things he did not like, although Jessica iterated that she did not wish to run her home like a business and that, while she did not love cleaning up after her family, she liked that her family needed her, even if she would resent them for being unappreciative. Louis then told her that he would let her clean the house by herself from now on.[38]
Halloween season began, with Louis waking up in the middle of the night to scare his family, although this resulted in Jessica punching him. Jessica did not agree with the notion of Halloween and did not see the point in celebrating it. Louis tried multiple times to scare her to no avail. Jessica decided to spend the holiday attempting to write a horror novel, and was soon asked by Eddie if he could attend a high school Halloween party; while Jessica refused, Louis intervened and allowed Eddie to go, citing that Jessica did not have a say since she did not celebrate the season. As Louis, Emery and Evan prepared to go out for Halloween, Jessica received a call from Officer Bryson that they had to pick up Eddie from the police station, as he had been at a party with no adult supervision. Coming back home, Jessica berated Louis for not checking before agreeing to send Eddie.
Louis mentioned how he wished to spend Halloween with Jessica much like how Jessica always wants Louis around during Christmas, stating that Halloween was to him what Christmas was to her. Realizing how much her family loved Halloween, Jessica woke up her family early morning on November 1st, waking Eddie up by using a fan to waft the smell of bacon and waking up Emery and Evan using the smell of a history textbook. The Huangs went to Honey's house, although Honey had no candy. Honey was confused why Halloween was being celebrated after October 31st, to which Jessica responded that people had their Christmas lights on after Christmas yet make a big deal about celebrating Halloween a day later.[39]
Season 4[]
To be added
Season 5[]
To be added
Season 6[]
The Huangs, along with Marvin and Honey, have gathered around the television to watch the 1999 FIFA Women's World Cup. Honey is feeding Maria while Marvin groans about the game. Honey has also given birth to her second child, a daughter named Liza, who sleeps. Louis announces that while he would forget about the game in 24 hours, this is his current focus, with him, Eddie, and Evan wearing USA jerseys to support their country while Jessica wears a jersey representing China. The game concludes 45 minutes after going into overtime when Brandi Chastain successfully shoots a penalty goal against China, granting the United States team the victory. However, when Chastain gets on his knees and rips off her jersey in victory, the sight of her in her sports bra causes Evan to gain an erection, forcing him to flee from the room immediately.
The next day, Emery arrives at the breakfast table to discuss his electives for ninth grade. Honey also arrives, needing Jessica's advice as she cannot get Maria to eat anything. Jessica suggests tricking Maria, exemplifying how she gets Eddie to eat a banana right as he eats a hot dog, citing it as a way to get Eddie to eat fruit. Just then, Louis walks in with a copy of Orlando Tribune, with the headlines discussing the US World Cup victory and with a photo of Chastain in her sports bra. The picture arouses Evan once more, who flees from the kitchen. Louis observes Evan's unusual mannerism, and Eddie realizes what has transpired, informing Louis, Honey and Jessica that Evan has received the first case of the "tingles." He then clarifies to the confused adults that he is referring to an erection, prompting Honey to excuse herself and leave the house while Louis decides it's time to give Evan "The Talk." Jessica bids him luck, citing that everything waist-down with their sons was his responsibility.
As Jessica is working on assignments at home, Honey enters wearing a clean, white blouse, gleefully notifying Jessica that her advice to trick Maria worked. Emery then walks by, muttering about his indecisiveness to pick an elective while Jenny's muffled questions reverberate throughout the house. Jessica states that she wishes Emery would just pick an elective so that she could concentrate on her work without distractions and complains about her mother-in-law, prompting Honey to reply that at least Jenny does not break valuable family heirlooms while gesticulating like her father-in-law, Mervin Ellis.
Sometime later, Jessica is approached by a loud Emery, who explains that he is projecting as it is a technique used by actors, revealing that he picked the Drama elective after speaking with Honey. This infuriates Jessica, who disapproves of the Arts, and she storms into Honey's house to berate her for her interference in Emery's life. Honey explains that Jessica wanted Emery to just choose an elective so that she could focus, and that a best friend did not ask for permission before trying to help a friend out. This prompts Jessica to tell Honey to stop interfering and to stay in her lane, which causes Honey to point out Jessica's hypocrisy, as Jessica has always interfered and stepped out of her lane when it came to Honey's life. As a result, the two women decide to do whatever it takes to "help each other out" without ever asking for permission.
The next day, Honey enters her home and curses as she steps on several building blocks. Jessica then appears, revealing that she bought Maria various LEGO-like blocks to play with so that Honey could devote time tending to Liza; additionally, Jessica has invited Mervin and his wife Candy to help Honey take care of her daughters, much to Honey's annoyance. As he enters, Mervin declares that he loves what they've done with the house while flailing his arms around, causing one of Honey's vases to fall and shatter on the ground. Candy then tells Honey that her home is not child-proof, leaving Honey to mirthlessly "thank" her. Honey then retaliates by having Marvin play the bugle in the Huangs' house to wake them up every morning and gives Jenny a megaphone, which Jenny uses to annoy Jessica. Retreating to her room, Jessica finds Emery rehearsing to be Danny Zuko from Grease, which only furthers her disdain.
Jessica storms into Honey's house to deliver turtlenecks that she bought in order to "help Honey hide her clavicles." She sees Honey dressed up, and Honey explains that she is dressed as Sandy Olsson from Grease as she is helping Emery rehearse his lines. Emery then shows up wearing a Letterman jacket and asks for help sewing a Rydell patch on it; both Jessica and Honey rush to help him and rip off the sleeves as a result, causing Emery to storm off. Jessica then blames Honey for the incident, and the two women decide not to be friends anymore. As Jessica prepares to leave, Honey announces that she would've lent Jessica her sewing machine, but would not now do so since they were no longer friends, to which Jessica retorts that she has two sewing machines, indicating her hands.
While at the kitchen table attempting to sew back Emery's sleeves by hand, Jessica is approached by Louis. He announces that his genitals are still working and attempts to seduce her, although she asks him to table his actions so that she may focus on her issues. She tells Louis that Honey is too pushy and rhetorically asks him if he knows what it's like to be with someone like that, to which Louis elects not to answer. Louis attempts to relate her issue to his issue with Evan, and Jessica cuts in asking if Evan already knew about it and if he taught Louis stuff, with Louis affirming both questions. Louis explains to Jessica how he thought, as the father, he would always be the teacher to his sons, only to learn that there are things his sons could teach him as well. He tells her that even though she's always been the one to help out Honey when it came to child problems, their relationship has evolved now that Honey has children of her own. Louis then brings up his working genitals once more, slightly insecure after Evan's comments, and invites Jessica to the bedroom as he leaves.
Jessica goes to Honey's house later and apologizes, informing her that she is not used to asking for or needing help. She elaborates that she is used to being the one who gives advice to Honey but must now accept that Honey has advice to give her, but adds that she would not need any help 98% of the time. Honey, smiling, replies that she would be there for Jessica for the remaining 2%, and as Jessica asks if they can be friends again, Honey accepts. Allowing Jessica to use her sewing machine and teaching her how to use it,, Honey adds that Bill Clinton and Richard Nixon took high school drama as well, which causes Jessica to change her stance on the elective and to give Emery her approval.[40]
At home, Eddie is regaling tales to his family, imagining the Y2K situation to be similar to the movie The Matrix, placing himself as Neo and Louis as Morpheus. Louis states that Y2K would not be like that, while Emery believes that the world truly may end as a result of the Millennium Bug. As a result, Eddie states that they should do as much as possible during summer vacation as it may be the last summer of their lives. However, his plans are dashed by Jessica, who enters the room with a stack of PSAT books and tells Eddie that he will study them alongside her in preparation for college. Eddie then imagines his mother to be like Agent Smith, attempting to defeat him with PSAT books before successfully defeating him.
As he is studying alongside his mother, Eddie complains, prompting Jessica to reply that it is not just his future at stake but her reputation, explaining that she wouldn't be respected as a principal if she failed to get her own son into a top college. Eddie is taken aback at her statement, claiming that he doesn't want to go to a top college, instead preferring to go to a Tier 2 or Tier 3 school, where there is less pressure and more fun and he could rejuvenate from the stresses of high school. Just then, Louis walks in, demanding Eddie what he has done to the bathroom tub. Eddie explains that it is Gia, his mega water balloon that he has inflated with water and left in the tub, intending to leave her there before he can get strong enough to throw her. Jessica scoffs at his ambition and tells him that he needs to grow up and focus on college. Louis tells Eddie that he is jealous of him going to college, claiming that he was a campus legend during his college days before suggesting that Eddie attend the University of Maryland, the school both he and Jessica went to. However, Jessica tells them that Maryland is not on her list, and Eddie leaves once he realizes he has no say in his future.
Louis warns Jessica that her attempts to push Eddie may cause him to burn out of college before he is even accepted, although Jessica responds that she cannot ease up on Eddie without him straying off. Jessica adds that she needs to prepare Eddie, citing that her sister Connie prepped her son Justin for a year only for Justin to end up at UCLA. Louis states that Eddie needs to understand that college is more than academics, where one lives by themselves, socializes, makes connections and has fun, which Jessica shuts down. Louis then reminds Jessica that she made some questionable choices in college, which Jessica shuts down as she does not want Eddie to know about it.
Jessica is informed by Evan and Emery that they have gained employment at a yogurt shop. Just then, Louis informs the family that they would be taking a trip to California to a pay a visit to UCLA, which Jessica initially shuts down due to financial reasons and Emery and Evan adding that they cannot go as they just got jobs. Louis tells them to just use their sick and vacation days and notifies Jessica that his brother, Gene Huang, has gotten them free airline tickets to California as he works for Delta Airlines and that they would not have to spend money on a hotel since they would be staying with Justin at his dorm. Louis then adds that if Eddie paid a visit to UCLA and then turned it down for Harvard, Jessica could then rub it in Connie's face, which causes Jessica to immediately notify the family to pack their bags.
The Huangs arrive in California, with Louis, Jessica and Eddie heading to the dorms to pay Justin a visit. Jessica is absent-mindedly flipping a Solo cup when Louis catches her and remarks that her old habits are returning, causing her to smile. Louis then asks Justin what the plan for the day is, and he responds that he has a midterm later that day and intends to study. Jessica scoffs at him, claiming that the midterm could not be that difficult at Eddie's "safety school", only for Justin to reveal that he had a 4.0 GPA, good SAT score and even had a rare sit-down with the Dean of Admissions and still got wait-listed. Just then, Justin's roommate Kip enters the room. Justin notifies Kip that the Huangs would be staying with them, although Kip responds that he doesn't care since he has flunked out, explaining that despite taking AP classes, being valedictorian and attending prep school, he would still be returning to work at his father's butcher shop.
Jessica then realizes that UCLA is a prestigious school, likening it to the "Harvard of California" and changes their itinerary so that Eddie could attend lectures and tour the campus, even going as far as calling Kareem Abdul-Jabbar and having him recommend the Dean into having a one-on-one with Eddie. During the tour, Eddie is excited at the prospect of going to a party but is shut down on Jessica, who forces him to memorize everything the tour guide is saying so that he may impress the Dean later. Louis urges Jessica to ease up on Eddie so that he could have some fun, and when Jessica replies that college is not meant to be fun, Louis exposes Jessica's past; during college, Jessica often got drunk, pulled pranks, streaked nude in the cafeteria instead of studying for her econ final and even stole things. Louis recants the past to show Eddie a different side of his mother, only to realize that Eddie is no longer with them, having run off.
Jessica and Louis make their way to the Dean's office, waiting for Eddie to show up. Jessica blames Louis, claiming that by telling him stories of her past, he gave Eddie free license to do whatever he wants on campus. Eddie then shows up, revealing that he left the tour group before hearing any of Jessica's past, instead electing to find Justin to see what kids his age did for fun. Upon hanging out with Justin's friends, who just watched television and took naps, Eddie declares that college is too lame and boring and that he would not be attending. The Dean then declares that personally he is disappointed, and Louis admonishes him, as he had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's recommendation for the school.
Louis then tells Jessica that they need to show Eddie that college can be fun. Jessica laughs, stating that while she allows Louis to play it up in front of the kids, he was really a dork in college. Louis replies that Jessica is the only one who can show Eddie, as Eddie is her. Jessica instantly replies that Evan is the child who is most like her, but Louis clarifies that while Evan is who she is now, Eddie is the person she used to be, and Jessica agrees to do so.
Eddie returns to the dorm to eat dry ramen with Kip when Jessica enters, telling Eddie that she used to be a 'madwoman' in college. Taking him aside, she divulges her college past to him, including a time when she shaved off all of her hair on a dare. Eddie is boggled that his mother used to be wild, and asks her why she kept her past hidden from him. Jessica replies that it was because she knew that Eddie's qualities came from her and wasn't proud of it, adding that had she focused on college the first time around, perhaps she wouldn't be repeating it, and therefore does not want Eddie to do the same. Eddie responds that to him, Jessica's route seemed more ideal, as she enjoyed her time in college, got married, had a family, had multiple careers and continued to push herself. Jessica iterates that she does not regret her past, but does not want Eddie to do the same, admitting that she is a hypocrite, although Eddie states that she isn't a hypocrite so much as she is cocky, thinking that he could not handle it like she did.
Jessica affirms this, citing that she is battle-tested, with Eddie retorting that he was as well, as he had one thing she did not – her for a mother. Smiling, Jessica proudly states that Eddie's quality of calling it as he sees it came from her. She then teaches him what to do with the inflated water balloon she filled with shaving cream, having given Eddie a tip that using shaving cream was more beneficial than water as it allowed the person to easily lift and throw the balloon.
Jessica and Eddie wait for Louis to walk down below before throwing the water balloon with shaving cream on top of him, drenching him. As Louis gets dried and the trio walk back, Eddie remarks that, after getting a taste of what his mother was like in college, he wonders how his father was. Louis tells him that he cannot disclose his college actions as they would be 'Rated R', which Jessica laughs at, reminding him that he was the one who said they needed to be open about their past to their children. Jessica tells Eddie that Louis was a club guy, having joined all the clubs, and a flashback is shown with Louis pruning shrubs in the Topiary Club while Jessica slid down the steps in her stolen canoe. With his ego bruised, Louis responds that he had lots of sex in college, which Jessica denies, and Eddie, laughing the entire time with Jessica, tells the two that he has heard enough. Jessica then goes on to drop 17 more cream balloons that weekend.[41]
Marvin Ellis has decided to retire from dentistry and is given a retirement party at Louis Huang's Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse. Honey gifts Marvin with a flagpole he wanted, which prompts Jenny to state that she too is now retiring, much to the confusion of her family, with the family wondering what she would be retiring from. The next day at breakfast, Jenny gives Louis a list of gifts she wants for retiring, stating that any one of them would do. Louis asks if her if she wants a party, although she merely replies that all the answers he seeks are on the list. Louis then reads the list of desired gifts, including a trip to Jamaica, a drum kit, or a hot tub. Louis believes that what his mother really wants is a party, but is too proud to ask him for one and expects him to dismiss the gift list, while Jessica declares that Jenny most likely is "retiring" just because she wants a gift. Regardless, Louis decides to go ahead and throw his mother a retirement party.
At Jenny's retirement party, Jessica sings "Simply the Best" while Trent Masterson plays the piano. However, Jenny asks Louis if this is all, and demands to have her gift. When Louis replies that the party was the gift, Jenny replies that he should've just bought her a hot tub. Louis responds that a hot tub is impractical, citing that it was a big responsibility and asks who would maintain it and pay its utilities bill, but Jenny, still wanting a hot tub, wheels herself away.
The Huangs return home, with Louis and Jessica retreating to their bedroom. Louis is complaining about his mother's actions and how ungrateful she is for everything he does for her. Jessica notifies him that mother-son relationships can be complicated, and gives him an example: recently, Evan disappointed her by leaving brand new milk out to spoil, but just then, Eddie had come in asking if they insurance after hitting a mailbox and a tree. She tells Louis that perspective is vital; compared to perfection, Evan had messed up, but compared to Eddie, she sees Evan as a saint. As his mother also has two sons, Louis declares that his younger brother Gene is the "Eddie" and decides to invite him so that when he messes up, Jenny will realize how much better Louis is in comparison.
Louis invites Gene over, but finds him to be a completely different person. Gene divulges that he fell into the lion's pit at the Singapore Zoo, and as a lioness was clawing his chest, it made him realize that life, with every moment on Earth, should be treasured. Jenny then asks Gene if he brought her a gift, but when he replies that his hug is a hug of gratitude, she storms off angrily, claiming that no one knows how to give gifts anymore. Louis and Jessica explain to a confused Gene that while he is away every ten years or so, it is Louis who takes care of Jenny and puts up with her. Gene then offers his assistance, and decides to help Jenny with her tasks for the day and relieve Louis of the burden.
Gene returns after running errands with Jenny, and much to Louis' surprise, Gene enjoyed doing so. Jenny then tells Louis that spending time with Gene made her appreciate all the hard work Louis does for her, which makes Louis happy. Gene then adds that he spoke to Jenny after realizing that there was tension between her and Louis and got her to value Louis. However, just then, Jenny begins to fire up the hot tub which Gene had installed in the garage. This infuriates Louis, who believes that Gene simply bought his mother off, and he storms away.
Louis fetches Trent and brings him to the garage to dismantle the hot tub, only to find out that Jessica is in there relaxing with Gene and Jenny. Louis asks how she could do so, and Jessica replies that Louis' concern with the hot tub was who would pay the utilities, but because Jenny had agreed to pay it herself, she found no issue in using the hot tub herself. Louis scoffs at the idea of his mother making payments, and Gene chimes in that if their mother could not pay for the hot tub, he would; this angers Louis, who states that Gene would be gone by then and that the one thing that would never change was Gene being a screw-up. Insulted, Gene replies that he has changed and is no longer a screw-up and refers to Louis as a martyr; as he exits the hot tub, mentions that he has emotional scars from being Louis' brother.
Jessica exits the tub to have a talk with Louis in the kitchen, where she states that Gene was right and that Louis is indeed a martyr. She explains to a befuddled Louis that Louis cannot handle change, reminding him that when Emery quit volleyball, Louis had stalked him, and that he had pressured Eddie when he was learning how to drive, and that he hit Brian Pew on his scooter as a result. Additionally, she mentions that Louis' issues regarding Gene, Jenny not appreciating him, and the financial costs of the hot tub had all been resolved.
Jessica, using a metaphor of Marvin's flagpole, likens Louis to being the sturdy pole that never changes while everyone else is the flag, swaying with the wind, and adds that while people salute the flag, no one does so for the pole and that he might consider being the flag for a change. Later that night, the Huang family, minus Gene, don their bathing suits and use the hot tub, now installed in Jenny's room, to perform a silent synchronized dance while Jenny sleeps, being careful not to wake her up.[42]
One morning at breakfast, Louis mentions the love between Eddie and Tina, causing Jessica to point out the word "love"; while she was aware he was in a relationship, she did not know it had progressed to love. After school, Jessica decides to pick up Eddie from school, spotting Tina for the first time. Returning home, Jessica is listening to Amy Grant when Evan approaches her, informing her that he would be meditating in Jenny's room and asks not to be disturbed.
Moments after, Jessica hears the door bell ring and opens the front door to find herself face-to-face with none other than Tina, who introduces herself as Eddie's boyfriend and announces her intent to get to know Jessica better. Eddie stumbles onto their meeting and panics, hastily introducing the two before trying to get Tina to go to a movie with him. Instead, the two women decide to spend time with each other, informing Eddie that his presence is not required. As Eddie leaves, Jessica asks Tina what intentions she has for her son, only for Tina to reply asking what intentions Jessica has for her boyfriend.
The two women sit at the table and begin to converse, and quickly realize they are quite similar and befriend one another. After the two women give each other a high five, Eddie rushes into the kitchen, misinterpreting the sound as a slap. However, he discovers that his girlfriend and his mother have become friends, realizing their common personalities. Eddie is forced to study in his room alongside Tina and Jessica, who criticize Eddie's study habits gleefully, much to Eddie's annoyance. Eddie overhears his mother discuss her first kiss to Tina, and covers his ears as she describes it as wet. He huffs that he is trying to study and is shocked at that statement coming from his mouth, and believes that he needs a break. He invites Tina for a milkshake, only for Tina to invite Jessica as well. During the car ride, Tina discusses how they need to increase Eddie's course load for his senior year and the two women praise each other, further irritating Eddie.
The next day, Jessica spends more time with Tina after the latter visits after school. Eddie returns home and has Evan wheel in Jenny, intending to have her play music, although Jenny is asleep. Upset as he thought she was meditating, Evan pushes the button himself, playing Amy Grant's music. Eddie then exclaims that Tina hates Amy Grant, whom Jessica loves, and asks Jessica if she is going to just take being told she is tasteless by a high school girl. The two women are confused as they haven't said a thing, but Tina points out to Jessica that Eddie, with a subtlety of an elephant, is attempting to cause friction between them to split them up. Angry, Tina asks Eddie what is wrong with him, citing that first he didn't want her and Jessica to meet out of fear they wouldn't get along, only to try and divide them once they did.
As Tina heads to the kitchen, Jessica asks Eddie why he didn't want them to meet, and he reveals it was because he feared Jessica would ruin his relationship, only to do so himself. Jessica tells Eddie that she only made the effort to get closer to Tina because she knew how much Eddie liked her; when Eddie asks how she could have known that when he never spoke to her about Tina, Jessica replies that his decision to not tell her about Tina is precisely how she knew he cared about her.
Jessica notifies Eddie that she reckons he likes Tina because she is similar to her, and adds that another thing they have in common is that they care about Eddie. She then tells Eddie to go make up with Tina, but not before making him promise never to weaponize Amy Grant again. Jessica heads to the garage to listen through Jenny's air vent, smiling at their reconciliation, only for Jenny to shut the vent and demand that she get paid a dollar per minute for vent usage.[43]
While in the kitchen, Jessica is informed by Louis that he wishes to make their home into a haunted house for Halloween. Jessica dismisses the idea and tells Louis he cannot convert their home into a haunted house for the neighborhood. Jessica tries to claim that she will still support Louis' holiday by buying candy for the trick-or-treaters, although all she buys are raisins, much to Louis' dismay.
Jessica heads into her bedroom sometime later, only to find Trent there. Jessica asks Louis what Trent is doing in their room, and Louis tells her that Trent is there to help him pick out Halloween decorations for the haunted house. Jessica states that she thought she had made it clear to him that they would not be making their home into a haunted house, but Louis replies that he will instead be transforming Cattleman's Ranch Steakhouse into a haunted house instead. Louis then asks Jessica if she would take his place as one of the judges at Abraham Lincoln Middle School's Halloween costume contest, and she begrudgingly agrees, citing that it is the least she could do for preventing Louis from having the haunted house at their home.
At the middle school, Jessica is judging alongside Principal Hunter and school counselor Richard Tim. Jessica gives out negative scores and negative criticism, making the children cry, much to Hunter's disappointment. The next contestant, Henrietta, then takes the stage, dressed as a detective. Hunter mentions that he would like to ask if there is something under Henrietta's trenchcoat, but is not allowed to to ask that. Jessica, much to the surprise of the audience and her fellow judges, gives Henrietta a perfect score. Hunter asks Jessica if she knows who Henrietta is dressing up as, and Jessica states that she is dressed as Jennifer Hong, from her book "A Case of a Knife to the Brain." Jessica expresses her surprise that Henrietta knows her book, and Henrietta responds that there are other "Brain-heads" out there.
Jessica returns home and eagerly tells Louis that she is on board with Halloween. Ignoring Eddie as he attempts to blow dry the smell out of Jenny's sleeping bag, Louis wonders why she would suddenly be into Halloween before dismissing it, thinking she is tricking him. Jessica replies that she is not tricking him, explaining that a girl at the school was dressed up as Jennifer Hong. Louis finds it hard to believe that a child would be dressed as someone from Jessica's book, which was geared towards an adult demographic and didn't sell many copies.
Jessica informs him that she was invited to a Halloween party hosted by student "Brain-heads", which shocks Louis, who cannot believe that multiple children are dressing up as Jessica's characters. Jessica asks Louis to come with her to the party, but Louis tells her that while he would love to, he has to set up at the haunted house at Cattleman's. Louis eventually makes a deal with her, one where he tags along with her in exchange for her coming to the haunted house afterwards, and Jessica agrees.
Louis and Jessica head to the address that Jessica was given, only to find themselves in an empty lot. Louis states that the address was fake and opts to return to Cattleman's, but Jessica replies that this situation is similar to one in her book, where Jennifer Hong was given a false address, only to find the factory she was looking for down the street. Jessica suggests that they check each house for Henrietta, but Louis reminds her that even on Halloween, two adults going door-to-door asking if there's a little girl at home would be construed as creepy. Jessica then decides that they could ease the situation by dressing up, pointing out that Louis has Halloween costumes in the trunk. Jessica dresses up as Chucky from Child's Play while Louis wears a cow costume, calling himself "Mad Cow Disease", and the pair go trick-or-treating as a way to check each house to see where Henrietta's party is.
Jessica and Louis successfully go trick-or-treating at various houses until Jessica finally comes across Henrietta's house, where Henrietta's sister notifies them that Henrietta is hosting a book club at the graveyard. Louis attempts to head to the graveyard but is stopped by Jessica, who tells him that in her book, the graveyard did not mean a literal graveyard but instead referred to the school, and thus believes that's where her fans would be. Louis becomes upset and tells her that while she could go to the school, he would be heading to Cattleman's to set up the decorations for the haunted house and walks away.
Intending to go to the school, Jessica realizes that the decorations for the haunted house are still in the vehicle and decides to head to Cattleman's to drop it off. Entering the restaurant, she finds it empty with the sole exception of Trent, who is lying face down on the floor. Yelping, Jessica rushes to his side hoping he is not dead, claiming that they would have to disclose the death when they sold the place. Trent, who was asleep, wakes up and is surprised to find Jessica there. Trent attempts to explain that the reason he was sleeping on the ground is because he has a bad back, although Jessica does not care. Jessica asks him where Louis is, and Trent tells her that he cannot tell her as he promised Louis he would keep it a secret. Jessica then exploits Trent's bad back by dropping sugar packets on the floor, knowing that Trent is duty-bound as assistant manager to pick them up. Trent then caves and reveals Louis' secret to Jessica – that he had conspired with Henrietta and had set the whole thing up.
Jessica heads to the school and expresses supposed elation at seeing the children dressed up as her characters, and tells them that in the original draft, they were all prostitutes. When Henrietta asks how Jessica knows that, Jessica reveals to them that she is the author of the book, much to their joy. Henrietta then tells her that she wishes there were more "Brain-heads" and Jessica replies that sales for Stephen King's books spiked after he got into an accident. Jessica then tells Henrietta to take a knife out of her purse and to stab her in her thigh so that her book's sales would increase, thereby creating more fans. The children becomes disturbed and uncomfortable at the situation until Louis walks in, telling them that Jessica is kidding.
Dismissing the students, Jessica confronts him and Louis asks how she knew that he had set the whole thing up. Jessica informs him that Trent told her the truth, and he admits that once Jessica said no to the haunted house, he decided to lure her into enjoying Halloween by tricking her; he had lied about setting up a haunted house at Cattleman's and had planted Henrietta to dress up as Jennifer Hong at the school contest. He then arranged for the students to meet up at the graveyard and successfully tricked Jessica into trick-or-treating, and adds that once Jessica decided that the school was the 'graveyard', he had to leave under the guise of heading to Cattleman's so that he could go the graveyard and have the children relocate to the school. Jessica admits that she did enjoy celebrating this Halloween, and Louis adds that he just wanted to spend his favorite holiday with his favorite person. Jessica then rates her day as a 76 out of 100, which Louis accepts as a passing score.
Returning home, Louis and Jessica are handing out raisins to the trick-or-treaters; Louis thanks Jessica for handing out the 'candy' with him, and Jessica replies that it was the least she could do after what Louis did for her. The Powerpuff Girls they gave raisins to then reappear, pelting them with the raisins, with one of the girls claiming that they ruined her childhood and referring the two as "bitches." Jessica then tells Louis that she would hold their fire and asks him to get the carrots to strike back.[44]
Jessica is at home reading her Teacher Administration Book when Eddie barges in and complains about Chestnut's return. He becomes surprised when Jessica tells him to sit down and that she would love to hear about his problems. She explains that it is a technique known as LIEing, LIE standing for Listen, Identify, Encourage, that she read about in her book. She listens to Eddie's problem about Chestnut returning to Cattleman's, identifies that he's upset when Eddie says that Chestnut is bossy, and 'encourages' him to suck it up when he states that Chestnut's rule about delivery personnel not allowed to eat ketchup or mayo packets is unfair.
As Eddie walks off, Louis approaches Jessica and gushes about Chestnut's return. Jessica mentions that she always liked Amy Chestnut, only for Louis to inform her that Chestnut divorced her. Louis adds that with Chestnut assuming managerial duties, he can focus on finding the next chapter of his life, which he thinks is gardening. To his surprise, Jessica tells him that she supports him 100%, and even suggests that he take it a step further and start a community garden.
Sometime later, Jessica walks into the kitchen and sees Eddie reading Dolly Parton's biography, with Jessica initially believing he is reading Honey's biography. Eddie explains that he is reading the biography so that he could get ahead of all of Dolly's sweet sayings that Chestnut says, having reluctantly accepted that Chestnut would be staying in. Just then, Louis enters the house and Jessica commends him for deciding to garden in a suit like a rich man. Louis, however, tells her that he will not be gardening since Chestnut convinced him not to and instead retain his focus on the restaurant.
As a result, Jessica teams up with Eddie and Trent. Conspiring with the boys to get Chestnut to leave, citing that he once left for Dollywood and may once again leave if the right offer comes his way, and instructs the boys to create a fake restaurant application for Tony Roma's to lure Chestnut away. Jessica, Eddie and Trent head to Cattleman's, with the boys sitting at a corner table while Jessica approaches Louis and Chestnut. Reminding Louis that she supports whatever he does wholly, she asks him to take her to see the new griddle in the kitchen while alerting Chestnut to Eddie and Trent's presence, initiating their plan.
Returning home, Jessica, Eddie and Trent are toasting their assumed victory with lemonade when Louis enters, upset about not being able to trust anymore. Jessica assures him that he had no idea Chestnut would abandon him once more, but Louis reveals that Chestnut did not; instead, Chestnut informed him of a fake application Eddie and Trent gave him to lure him away, with the manager being "Donny Worthington", the author of Jessica's Teacher Administration Book.
Eddie apologizes to Jessica, citing that he panicked and that she never addressed a manager's name during rehearsal, revealing to Louis that Jessica was involved. Jessica explains that she wanted Louis to be able to pursue what he wanted and that Chestnut was a name chaser, but Louis reveals that Chestnut came to him with ideas to address the competition and improved past ideas as well, divulging that the community vegetable garden idea has evolved into a German beer hall garden instead.
Shortly after, Eddie is pouring orange soda in beer steins as practice for Cattleman's new beer garden, and both he and Jessica decide to pin the blame on Trent for their actions. They then notice Jenny at the kitchen table, eating freshly grown tomatoes. Jessica asks her where she got the tomatoes from, and Jenny replies that she got them from Louis' garden. Jessica states that Louis did not go through with the garden idea due to Chestnut, but Jenny reveals that Louis still went through with the garden idea by outsourcing the task of growing and tending to the fruits and vegetables to her.
Jessica then heads to Cattleman's to see Louis so that she could tell him something she claims is not easy for her to say. Louis assumes she is going to apologize to him, knowing that she cannot bring herself to apologize easily, but is instead stunned to hear Jessica say that he was the problem, and not Chestnut. She tells him that Chestnut didn't make him quit the idea of the garden, and that he chose to do so himself, much like how he quit the idea of being a barber or a tour guide driver, and that failures are what he's good at.
She informs him that his strength is in getting new ideas off the ground and then handing it off to others, like giving the reigns of Cattleman's and the backyard garden to Chestnut and Jenny, and that the seeds he plants are idea seeds. Louis realizes that he's an "business farmer", which Jessica refers to as a business consultant, and she tells him that the vocation is perfect for him and that she would support him entirely. She then tells a now relieved Louis that he already implemented a good idea in assigning the garden to Jenny as it would get her used to be in dirt, as Louis stares in discomfort.[45]
Jessica walks into the kitchen one morning to see Eddie presenting her with breakfast and wishing her a good morning in Mandarin. Realizing that the unprompted Mandarin means that he wants something from her, she asks him and he replies that he would like to skip a half day of school in order to get an autograph from his new favorite basketball player, Allen Iverson. Jessica refuses, telling him that he was not allowed to leave school early under any circumstances, stating that even if there was a fire at school, he was to stay inside and die with honor.
Eddie then asks Louis to chime in, and while Louis states that he should run if there's a fire, he tells Eddie that he is siding with Jessica and is against him skipping school. As Louis heads off to work, Eddie proclaims that Jessica is being unfair; Jessica replies that what is truly unfair is Peter Sampras and Denzel Washington having to wear a shirt and her having to complete an academic practicum, explaining that a practicum involves her shadowing a teacher for 100 hours.
Emery, sitting at the kitchen table, tells his mother that 100 hours is a lot for everyone involved. Jessica agrees, but states that one must keep their head down and stay the course if they wish to achieve their goals. She mentions Evan, claiming that he is predictable, reliable, and has never veered from his path, only for Evan to pop up with an 'aloha'. Noticing that Evan is wearing a puka shell necklace, Jessica lets out a scream and demands to know what he has done to his neck, and he explains that his friend Geoff got him into them.
Wearing his backpack using a single strap, bids them farewell, announces that he has to hurry if he wants a seat at the back of the bus. Jessica claims that this behavior is unlike Evan and asks Emery what is going on at school with Evan, only for Emery to remind his mother that they don't go to the same school anymore, as he is in ninth grade in high school while Evan is in eighth grade in middle school. Emery tries to convince Jessica that Evan wearing puka shells is not a bad thing at all, although Jessica believes that wearing them will lead to shady friends, distractions and bad grades, which would ultimately prevent Evan from becoming Doctor-President.
Jessica heads to Hunter's office at school, blaming him for letting Evan "slip through the cracks." Hunter replies that Evan is a straight-A student who is making new friends, and that the only blemish was when he received detention. Jessica yells at Evan receiving detention, and Hunter attempts to soften the blow by explaining that the whole class received detention, prompting Jessica to wonder how Hunter is principal while she has to take practicum. Jessica demands that Hunter follow Evan to every class and report back to her, and Hunter replies that he cannot follow one child all day.
In the cafeteria, Evan is attempting to pull off a card trick to Geoff and Zack. After managing to somewhat pull one off, Geoff invites Evan to his Bar Mitzvah; Evan replies that he thought only family and close friends could attend, and is touched when Geoff responds that Evan is his friend. Suddenly, Jessica sits next to Evan, revealing that she has decided to take her practicum at his school, therefore allowing her to spend 100 hours with him instead of a random teacher and still receive credit. While Evan tries to find the benefits of having his mother attend school with him, Jessica notices that he is playing cards and is doing magic tricks and berates him for it, further humiliating him in front of his friends when she criticizes him for eating applesauce due to the "bad boom booms" he gets from them.
Evan receives a test back from his teacher, Ms. Houston, who refers to him as "Ev" only for Jessica to admonish her for not calling him Evan. Evan attempts to explain that he had chosen the nickname himself only for Jessica to tell him to drop it, citing that presidents don't have nicknames despite Evan mentioning Abe Lincoln, Teddy Roosevelt and Jimmy Carter as examples. Evan then informs Ms. Houston that he is reverting back to Evan and asks if he could be used to use the bathroom. As she gives permission, Jessica announces loudly that if Evan sat down to pee it would not make him a lesser boy, humiliating him as his class laughs.
At lunch, Jessica sits next to Evan and brings out food from home. Evan tells her that he wanted to buy lunch as it was pizza day in the cafeteria, although Jessica replies that today was the day the food at home expired, and tells him to eat it quickly before it turns bad. Evan attempts to have her switch from following him to his honors classes and instead focus on the classes with the visual learners, although she refuses. Just then, Geoff and Zack walk by and Evan pleads with them to sit with him, though they walk away.
Evan then presses the matter with Jessica, notifying her that there is a class where the teacher doesn't even have a lesson plan and that it would be a challenge for her. While she claims it is tempting, she reveals that she already lined up their schedules and submitted her timecard to Hunter, and that if it was up to her, they'd be in school forever. She then walks away to ask the lunch lady if she could use the microwave.
Having microwaved her spoon, Jessica heads to Hunter's office to inform him that he owes her a new spoon since his microwave destroyed hers. However, upon entering Hunter's office, Jessica gasps in shock as she finds Evan trifling through the employee timecards and accessing her timecard. Evan attempts to cover his actions by claiming he was checking her math, but she replies that he is the one who needs to be checked, having sneaked into the principal's office, and asks him if his new friends put him up to it. Evan retorts that she was the one who put him up to it, divulging that he was padding her hours to get her out of school faster and that he didn't want her here, stating that she was ruining his life.
Jessica responds that he was the one who was getting into detention and sneaking into the principal's office and that the behavior was not only unlike Evan but also unpresidential, with an exception made for Richard Nixon. Evan explains that the reason the whole class got detention was because their teacher, who hailed from Arizona, did not believe in Daylight Savings Time and thus marked them all as 'late.' Dismissing his explanation, she tells him that he is veering off course, wearing puka shells and hanging out with "Geoff with a G" only for Evan to lash out and call her "a jerk with a J," and hands her his puka shell necklace as he storms out.
In class, Emery is taking a test when Jessica enters the classroom and asks Emery what is wrong with Evan. Mr. Kopelow, Emery's teacher, asks Jessica who she is, and she replies that she is a concerned parent before sitting next to Emery. Jessica addresses her fear that Evan is not himself anymore and is ruining his dream of becoming Doctor-President, while Emery disagrees, notifying her that Evan held a model U.N. with his Beanie babies the night before. He tells Jessica that Evan is just getting older and trying new things, that it doesn't make him a different person, and adds that if Jessica wants to help him she should give him space.
Evan is dancing joylessly to the Macarena at Geoff's Bar Mitzvah, held at the North Orlando Country Club, when Jessica crashes it in order to talk to Evan and give him some space, with Evan pointing out that doing so is not giving him space. She tells him that she overreacted, albeit claiming she did so barely, because she began to not recognize him and that he had always told her about the stuff in his life. Evan reveals that he does not tell her about stuff such as the puka necklace because he knew she would hate it as she hates most things and that he would like to try things out on his own.
Jessica agrees and tells him that he needs to find out for himself that things are stupid, causing Evan to mirthlessly state that it is no wonder he does not tell her stuff. He apologizes for calling her a jerk and for altering her timecard, and she replies that she will give him his space and that she no longer cares about the timecard, as Mr. Kopelow had notified her that private school teachers do not require practicum. As Evan congratulates Jessica, she realizes he is wearing cologne, which Evan replies is CK One, a unisex fragrance. Not wanting to insult him, she merely states that it is interesting.[46]
Jessica and Louis are attending a Homeowners Association meeting where Carol-Joan is suggesting they install a piazza as their median for traffic diversion, inspired by the piazza she encountered while in Tuscany. As Carol-Joan mentions that it could be a neutral territory for community bonding, Jessica shoos her off the stage so that Evan can move on to Louis, who is the next speaker. Louis introduces himself to the homeowners and pitches his new business consultant services, only for Deidre, Carol-Joan and Jamie to ask about his profit margins, clientele, and profit projections. When Louis responds that it would be zero as he has just started, Deidre scoffs that it isn't an actual business if he has no clients, and he is ushered off.
Returning home, Jessica listens to Jenny discussing hard and soft tacos when Eddie, Emery and Evan enter through the front door laughing. When Jessica asks them why they are laughing, they tell her that they had gone to the grocery store to watch people fight over Thanksgiving turkeys, with Evan recalling Tie-Dye Tim using a lasso. This upsets Jessica, as "Turkey Tango" was an annual shopping fight she had attended with her sons, and that they had gone without her. Jenny explains that her sons at the age where she is no longer interesting to them and that she herself is at the age, but Jessica dismisses her, claiming that it was because she was too busy with her studying and job applications. She resolves to show her boys she can be the life of the party, only for Jenny to remark that Jessica does not even know what a party is.
As Eddie, Emery and Evan put on their shoes to head out to the newly built piazza, Jessica interrupts them, wanting them to spend one hour of concentrated family fun time with a chore wheel, where she observes the boys doing chores. The boys refuse, informing Jessica that they wish to attend the ribbon-cutting ceremony at the piazza, with Evan adding that Marvin would be teaching them bocce since Carol-Joan is diving into the Italian theme.
Jessica discovers that a grocery store in Sanford has just received turkeys and tries to invite her sons to go witness a 'turkey tango' only to see that the three boys are dressed in European garb, with Eddie sporting a toga. With Emery and Evan stating that they've gotten the bocce bug, Jessica wonders how spending time at the piazza is more fun than spending time with their mother.
Evan then notices that Carol-Joan is scooping gelato and the three try to leave when Jessica intercepts them, claiming that the piazza is racist towards them as they are Asians and suddenly the neighborhood needs a median to solve driving issues. Eddie points out that they did not move here suddenly but six years ago while Emery reminds her that the Huang family have had their fair share of driving incidents. Evan then points out that "Meatball" is singing "Ave Maria" and tells Jessica "Ciao bella, mamma mia," which Eddie proclaims is racist as he and his brothers head to the piazza.
Jenny then tells a disappointed Jessica that if she wants to spend time with her sons she should go to the piazza as well, but Jessica refuses, wanting to spend quality time with her sons and not with the others, such as Carol-Joan. Jenny tells Jessica that she tries too hard and it is no wonder the boys prefer the median, only for Jessica to state that she must destroy the median.
In the living room, Jessica tells Jenny to pipe down so she could work on her op-ed, a report she is anonymously sending to the local newspaper to get the city to tear down the median, citing that they should "leave bocce to the Mafia." As Jenny tells Jessica that she is a fool to invoke the mob, Jessica asks her to turn the television down, only for Jenny to retort that she got there first. This sparks an idea in Jessica to get to the median first and she thanks Jenny for the idea.
Eddie, Emery and Evan head out the piazza only to find Jessica there in a lounge chair. They ask her if she could move so that they could play bocce but she refuses, telling them that she had gotten there first. The neighborhood gathers around the piazza, with Deidre asking Jessica to move so that they could continue with their bocce finals, although Jessica remains put. Marvin then announces that the finals have been postponed and that they should refer to Jamie for a refund on any bets they placed. As the crowd disperses, Jessica tells her sons that they now have the piazza to themselves and can have family fun time, but they respond that they were already having fun before she showed up and ruined it.
Sitting by herself in the piazza, Jessica is joined by Louis, who brings a can of baby food. Louis cannot comprehend why Honey would fire him after he helped her turn TMI into a real business, and Jessica tells him Honey has TMI – too much integrity – and that she is not in it for the money. She then tells him how their sons also have TMI – too many interests – and that none of them are her, complaining about how they'd rather play bocce on the piazza than spend time with her. Louis, eating the baby food, then tells her that if she wishes to spend time with them, she should do what interests them, even if it is something she has taken an arbitrary stance against.
Jessica walks into Evan and Emery's room with an apology lasagna for ruining their "dumb bowling" although Eddie points out that the lasagna is still frozen. Jessica responds that it would've taken an hour to make and that she didn't need that much time to reflect, and tells them that with her studying and job hunting, she just missed them and wanted them all to herself, but that she would be happy if they were just all together. Evan then tells her that she would like bocce and that it was perfect for her as it involved precision, competition and violence; Eddie asks her if she wants to play with them, and Jessica replies that she does like violence.
Out on the piazza, Jessica wins the bocce finals. Just then, George Bryson and the police show up to destroy the median, as it has been constructed without a permit. When Deidre asked who snitched, Bryson responds that he was alerted to the matter through an anonymous op-ed in the paper, and Jessica publicly announces that she suspects Carol-Joan to be the culprit. Emery and Evan lament how bocce was fun while it lasted, and Jessica replies that they can continue this in their backyard. As the crowd cheers, Jessica clarifies that she meant the Huang family only. The people then leave in disappointment, and Jessica tells Bryson to bring in the bulldozers.[47]
While the family watches Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Louis correctly answers the question, and Eddie tells him that he should be on the show. Louis replies that he would never be chosen to be on television, while Evan points out that Jessica had been selected for a game show in the past, having appeared on Wheel of Fortune. Jessica tells Evan not to compare her accomplishments to Louis', and Louis himself states that in order to be on the show, he would have to call in, pass the screening process, and then out of thousands and thousands of applicants, be one out of only ten to be chosen; he tells his sons there would be no chance he would be on the show.
However, Louis applies and is selected to be on the show, meeting host Regis Philbin. In the audience, Emery idolizes Regis, informing Jessica that Regis had spent more time on camera than anybody else in history. Jessica scoffs that being in front of a camera is not an achievement and that the same feat is accomplished by newborns and safari animals, whom she labels as lazy. Eddie takes offense to her remark, stating that safari animal stalking their prey through the Serengeti for three nights is not lazy, leaving Emery impressed at his knowledge and use of the word "Serengeti." Jessica tells her sons to quiet down so that she could signal Louis the answers in order to prevent Louis from losing a million dollars, and mentions that security had confiscated her purse snacks because Regis could not focus if there was a crunch in the audience. Emery tells her that he understands silence is necessary to focus on one's craft, and she retorts that reading words out loud is not a craft.
Regis asks Louis his first question of the game – at what temperature does water boil – with the options being 32 degrees Fahrenheit, 0 degrees Celsius, 100 degrees Celsius, or the temperature of the sun. Louis tells Regis that the answer is 100 degrees Celsius, which is deemed correct. Jessica, who was unable to answer the question herself, blames it on her lack of snacks and decides to go out to the vending machine when Regis calls for a break. Emery decides to tag along with her so that he can distribute his headshots around the studio. Jessica gets a bag of nuts from a vending machine while Emery drops off some of his photos, but the pair are notified by a security guard that they are not allowed to re-enter the stage once they have left.
Needing to find a way to get pass the security guard so they can make their way back inside, Emery suggests they act their way in. Jessica scoffs at the idea, claiming that she would not be acting as she is not a monkey, only for Emery to respond that he is surprised she is not on board with acting as it is a form of manipulation where one lies and controls the audience, and Jessica agrees to act. Having obtained the security ID tags of two employees named Gary and Esther, Emery and Jessica prepare to act their way back in, with a new security guard named Ronnie being posted outside the door.
Speaking in a deeper voice, Emery claims to be a technician who needs to fix a spotlight immediately, and Ronnie believes him. However, when Ronnie asks who Jessica is and Emery replies that she is his colleague, Jessica tells Ronnie that Emery is lying, that she is the boss and he is her lying employee. Emery then takes Jessica aside and asks her what she is doing, and she responds that it would be unbelievable for her to be his colleague, adding that acting is a waste of a time. Hurt, Emery walks back to Ronnie and makes his way in, but tells Ronnie that Jessica is not with him, leaving her stranded outside.
Jessica tries to tempt Ronnie with snacks, and while he is tempted, he whispers that he cannot let her in. Emery emerges, informing Ronnie that he is needed inside to bounce a guy in Section G, assuring the security guard that he would temporarily cover for him. As Ronnie leaves, Jessica thanks Emery for coming back for her and tries to enter the stage, but finds her entry blocked by Emery, who tells her that he would only let her in if she admits that acting is not a waste of time, as it means a lot to him. Jessica tells him that she doesn't like acting because to her it is just lying, which her father did a lot of growing up, disappearing for months on end and returning smelling like women's perfume and cheap booze, and choking up, wonders how her father could have done that to her mother.
Touched, Emery replies that he never knew that, only for Jessica to claim that it was because she just made it up and was just acting. She tells him that the reason she is against him acting is because she knows many people try to become an actor and fail, and that she doesn't want him to go through that. However, she adds that she will act like she's okay with him acting if that's what he really wants to do, and accepting this, Emery allows her to enter and the two make their way back to their seats. Jessica watches as Louis asks Eddie what the answer to his current question is, Eddie reminds Louis of his prior assertion that the answer is always "C.' Louis answers with C for hard drive, but is informed that he is incorrect and therefore has lost the game and the money he accumulated, and Jessica places her face in her hands.
Sometime later, the Huang family watch the game at Cattleman's, watching Louis lose on television. Evan remarks that he can't believe Louis wasted the lifeline on Eddie instead of him, and Louis apologizes for losing out on the million dollars, although Eddie points out that he was nowhere close to a million. Jessica tells Louis that it's okay and that money isn't everything, and Emery asks her if she is acting, to which she confirms she is.[48]
A few hours after Thanksgiving, Jessica wakes up early and begins to set up her "Jessica Town" model, imagining herself as the Mayor, her sons as well-dressed gentlemen, Louis as the butcher, Honey and Marvin as repair shop owners, and Deidre and Carol-Joan as waste gatherers. While she is setting up her town, she sings "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" out loud at the top of her lungs, waking up her family and causing them to head downstairs. As she tells them it was about time they got out of bed, Evan points out that it is 5:00 am while Emery reminds her that Thanksgiving was just last night, and Eddie, claiming to be more turkey than man, asks her if she could put her preparations on hold until daytime; Jessica declines, notifying her family that with Thanksgiving being over, the Christmas season has officially begun and that there was no time to waste.
Later that morning, Louis tells Jessica that he would like to go skating with her since the last time they skated together was before they had children. However, Jessica declines, intending to spend the time on holiday decorations. She states her preparations have to be perfect since it is 1999 and therefore the last Christmas of both the century and the millennium. Presenting Louis with a gingerbread house, she tells him that she will making a life-sized version to place on their lawn. Louis tells Jessica that she should be subtracting from her holiday list rather than adding, sadly mentioning that he loses her for the entire month of December. Jessica replies that people expect perfection from her when it comes to Christmas, including her Christmas cards and getting her sons the unique present they each want; Louis then asks the boys what they would like for Christmas, and all three unanimously respond that they want a gift card. Telling Jessica that Christmas gets simpler as the boys get older, he suggests ice skating again; Jessica refuses once more, citing that she could not risk getting hurt on the ice as there would be no one else to do the holiday work, and heads out to purchase tinsel.
Returning home with her Lao Ban Santa costume, Jessica notices the Christmas cards all written and sealed in envelopes on the table. She asks Emery about it, who is sitting at the table reading a book, and he informs her that Louis had completed it in her stead and seemed happy to use his hippo tuba stamps. Jessica is unsatisfied with Louis' messy handwriting and choice of postage stamp, remarking that tuba hippos do not represent Christmas. She then imagines her Jessica Town where her stylized boards with traditional calligraphy are replaced with hand-scrawled ones, with the townsfolk claiming it was Louis' idea, which upsets her.
Jessica is busy rewriting the Christmas cards at the table when Louis enters with a pair of skates, asking her if she'd noticed that he'd completed the cards and if she'd like to lace up and join him on the skating rink. Jessica tells them that she cannot go as she must stay and fix "everything [he] did wrong." Upon Jessica's insistence to seal every envelope with a kiss, Louis tells her that she is going overboard and that he does not know what the big deal is. Jessica replies that her Christmas cards kick off the holiday season and that everyone expects perfection from her. Louis offers to help out so that they could go skating, asking how hard it could really be, prompting Jessica to assign him the task of building the life-sized gingerbread house, giving him until the end of the week to finish.
Jessica heads into the kitchen to check on Louis' progress, and Louis notes that it is awfully messy and that frosting is solidifying instantly, likening it to concrete. Jessica tells him that it does not bode well for him and offers to take over, but Louis remains persistent that he can do it. Jessica then slips back into her Jessica Town imagination, where she calls for a meeting on the steps of Town Hall as her citizens protest against her decision to award Louis the butcher with the contract to build their new gingerbread house library, and Mayor Jessica attempts to quell their fears by stating that Louis would quit once he sees how hard it is, allowing her to swoop in and save the day. After Mayor Jessica claims that it would take a miracle for Louis to pull it off, the imaginary Deidre responds since it is Christmas year-round in Jessica Town, miracles happen all the time.
Jessica enters the kitchen, wondering why Louis stopped screaming and banging his head against the walls, and Louis responds that everything is going great, having enlisted Trent's help. Jessica notices a smell coming from the oven, and Louis informs her that he is baking fresh gingerbread using a homemade recipe, which he and Trent would use to start building the walls. Deeming it a Christmas miracle and not wanting Louis to succeed, Jessica pushes up the timeline from the end of the week to the next day, asking him if he could handle it, and Louis replies that he can.
As Jessica is setting up the garland at home, she hears Louis calling for her, telling her that she needs him; smiling, Jessica exclaims that she knew Louis did not have it in him. Heading outside, she spots a gingerbread shack on the lawn, and remarks that it looks worse than she thought. Marvin tells her that it is perfect, as it represents the humble spirit of Christmas before everything became over the top and that the neighborhood loves Louis' idea to scale back. Jessica slips back into her Jessica Town imagination, where Honey and Marvin are dancing in public. Jessica tries to get Constable Bryson to arrest them for disorderly conduct, but he informs her that she is no longer the mayor. Mayor Louis presents them with the shack as their new library; when Carol-Joan asks what he did with the money he was given to make it look nice, he reveals that he spent it on an ice rink, which the citizens of Jessica Town appreciate. Back in reality, Louis tells Jessica that the time crunch made him nervous and prevented him from adding all the bells and whistles, but that the people love it anyways. Jessica then thanks Louis for ruining her Christmas and storms off.
Jessica heads back home and tosses glitter on his hairdryer, explaining to Louis that she is doing it to make a joke out of something he loves the way he did to her. Louis states that he thought she would be happy with his gingerbread house while Jessica scoffs and says that it is a shack. Louis replies that it may not be Princess Jasmine's palace but that everyone loves it, which is what should matter. Jessica tells him that Christmas is her holiday and that it has to be perfect, not pushed through or scaled back. Louis then tells her that a perfect Christmas to him is spending time with her, and complimenting her decorations on his chair, leaves the room.
Sitting on her bed cradling her gingerbread house, Jessica slips back into her imagination of Jessica Town, where she is now a waste gatherer alongside Deidre. Deidre points out the couples spending time together and tells Jessica that that is what Christmas is all about, and that it was a shame that they could not partake in it since their job was to work around the clock picking up trash so that the town looked perfect. Jessica then notices Mayor Louis standing off by himself, with no one to spend Christmas with.
Jessica heads outside to the lawn, where Louis is standing by his shack. She apologizes for insulting the shack and explains that she was just worried that Christmas would be ruined if she didn't try to make it perfect, while Louis responds that Christmas isn't about being perfect but about being together, and that he just wants to spend it with her. Jessica tells Louis that she knows he was just trying to help when he wrote the Christmas cards and asks him if he would like to go skating, holding two pairs of skates. Louis is surprised, reminding Jessica that she was scared of getting hurt on the ice, although Jessica claims that she is good at everything she does, and that she has nothing else to do now that Louis had built the gingerbread house. Louis tells Jessica not to examine the house too closely as he cut corners, and it is revealed that Trent has been inside the shack the whole time, providing structural support to keep it standing. Trent then screams as he spots a rat inside the shack and calls for Louis, who merely walks away with Jessica.
A month later, on Christmas morning, Jessica is wrapping Louis' arms when Louis presents her with a gift. Jessica points out that he could've gotten them for 50% off had he waited a day, but deems them perfect and places them within her Jessica Town set. She then imagines herself and Louis in Jessica Town skating on the ice rink, only for Louis to crash into Lao Ban Santa.[49]
Jessica asks Deidre if she could borrow chairs for Honey's surprise birthday party, and Deidre agrees. As Deidre struggles to bring in the chairs inside Honey's house, she asks Jessica where she should set them up; Jessica, reading a magazine on the couch, smiles as she tells Deidre that she has a surprise for her, which was that she wasn't invited to Honey's party. Deidre then drops the chairs and asks if she should set them up in Jessica's ass, straining the relationship between the two.
Jessica leaves Honey a demanding voicemail instructing her to interview her for practice, although Jessica spends most of it criticizing Honey and having her make tea for her. Jessica mentions that she wants her interview to be perfect as she wants to be hired for who she is rather than what she looks like. Honey tells Jessica that after the interview is over, she should give a handshake if the interviewer is a woman, but an extended hug if it is a man.
Jessica then shakes hands with Honey, and hurts Honey's dominant hand. Just then, Louis walks in and asks Jessica why she would ask Honey for help and not the business consultant she lives with, but comes to the conclusion that it may be for the best as Jessica as she is not used to him being brutally honest and straightforward, although she replies that she would love to see that Louis. Louis suggests to Jessica that she network with Deidre, since Deidre sits on the board of a private school, although Jessica informs him that the 'networking' she does with Deidre is not exactly positive, recounting when she borrowed chairs from Deidre. Louis replies that he has a business relationship with Deidre as he buys $50 worth of hair products from her every month, and asks Jessica if he can help her get her the job of her dreams. After a moment of consideration, Jessica agrees, claiming that it couldn't hurt and that Honey was doing terrible, berating her for taking 20 minutes to make tea.
Louis invites Deidre to join them for golf at the country club, which Jessica finds bothersome, although Louis tells her to play the long game for the sake of the bigger picture. As Louis compliments Deidre's swing, he tells Jessica that she should butter her up and ease the discussion into Deidre's makeup company, only for Jessica to tell Deidre that she's looking for a job at a private school since Deidre is on the board of Smith-Moore Academy.
Louis attempts to soften the situation by claiming that Jessica starts talking about private schools due to sunstroke, but Deidre points out that Jessica could not have sunstroke with the brim radius on her visor, noting that she knows Jessica wants to talk business. Deidre tells Jessica that Smith-Moore Academy is currently looking for a Dean and that she would perfect for the position, further stating that with her influence, the interview process would merely be a formality and that she would go call the school right now. As she walks away, Louis is disappointed that it happened so fast, and Jessica tells him that he is just upset because she cut his long game short; she then picks up the golf ball and throws it across the field, calling it a "home run."
Jessica heads to Smith-Moore Academy on her first day as Dean, having been officially hired following the formal interview process. She asks Principal Reed what she should tackle, citing college guidance, student discipline and budget slashing as suggestions, although Reed tells her that she's not here for that as he and the Headmaster have those duties covered. Jessica then asks what her job is and is told it is whatever she makes of it before being handed a welcome packet.
A few hours later, Jessica returns home incensed, telling Louis that the school only hired her because she was Chinese. She pulls out a brochure from the welcome packet, with her face on the front above the line "Home of Diversity." Louis replies that he should've known something was amiss when Deidre was too quick to help, and Jessica tells him that Reed couldn't name one thing in her job description and that the title of Dean did not even exist prior to her hiring.
Jessica states that the school is caught up in the new "diversity wave" and that they hired her just for optics, and tells Louis that even though she finally got what she wanted, she is upset as she did not earn it and does not want a handout. Louis responds that she deserves the job as she put in hard work and that the alternative would no diversity at the school at all. Jessica retorts that his statement sounds like something her husband would say and that she would like to know what her business consultant thinks instead, and Louis advises that while it may not be ideal how she got her job, she should make the most of it and play the long game by working twice as hard. Nodding in agreement, Jessica proclaims that she would work four times as hard to prove her worth, while Louis tells her that he loves it when she is mad at people that aren't him.
The next day, Principal Reed escorts Jessica to her office, which is just a supply closet in the basement. Jessica notices a rabbit in a cage, and Reed explains that the rabbit is known as Mr. Buns and was meant to be dissected by the tenth grade science class, although the class did not have the heart to do so. Jessica attempts to discuss her ideas for the school with Reed although Reed replies that there's no rush and that she should just relax and decorate her "office." Jessica then imagines herself lunging at him and repeatedly punching him, but is snapped out of her reverie by Reed, who asks her if she has any more questions. Jessica merely shakes her head no, and as Reed heads back upstairs, Jessica tells Mr. Buns that he reminds her of all of her exes.
Jessica returns home from work and tells Louis that she cannot continue her "job" anymore, and he advises that she should hang in there even though it is not easy. Jessica responds that they won't let her, citing that she tried to pitch in during a staff meeting, where half the staff thinks she is only there for diversity purposes and therefore do not listen to her. She recounts the staff meeting, where she suggested that they install healthy vending machines to help boost school nutrition, only for no one to acknowledge her; however, seconds later, a teacher named Jan repeated Jessica's idea as her own as the other faculty applauded and congratulated Jan.
Louis considers the fact that perhaps it happened because she was new and did not establish herself yet, but Jessica also reveals when she tried to distinguish herself by being something other than 'the Asian person' by planning to drop Mr. Buns, the rabbit, in the administrative building as a distraction, a colleague asked her if she was carrying him because it was the Year of the Rabbit. Louis claims that even if it was for optics, they were still paying her and that they would want to use her something, and Jessica responds that they want her to sign off on anything "diverse" as a means to protect themselves. She sadly states that she knows Louis, as her business consultant, would want her to stick it out and play the long game, only to be surprised when Louis tells her that she should quit, and that she should look for a position at another school where her talents would be appreciated.
Jessica is in her supply closet office when Reed approaches her, needing her help to repair the school's image after the marching band saluted the veterans in the stand after throwing white sheets on top of themselves, evoking a very KKK look. Reed asks her for ideas, and she suggests having a press conference where she issues a public statement to reporters. Jessica later returns home and tells Louis that she is not quitting and that she needs to play the long game and gain a seat at the table to prevent her discrimination from happening to others. She then tells Louis that she called for a press conference at the school later that day and that she needs his help.
At the press conference, Jessica apologizes on the school's behalf and asks the reporters gathered around if they wish to ask any questions, blindsiding Principal Reed. Louis, disguised as a reporter, asks Jessica what plans she has for the school following her newfound position as Dean, and Jessica responds that she would reveal her extensive list of plans that fall under her job description, which the school would be unable to repeal as she is publicly listing them. As Reed mutters that he would at least get to finally found out what exactly a Dean does, he is once again blindsided when Jessica publicly states the generous raise that the school would be offering her.
Sometime later, Jessica brings Mr. Buns home, informing her family that the rabbit is now her assistant and would be staying with them while Reed has a window installed in her office. Louis then tells his family that he is revealed that Mr. Buns is a rabbit after having heard so much about a Mr. Buns whom Jessica referred to as cute and whom she shared an office with.[50]
At some point, Jenny used Jessica's credit card to purchase several Madonna bras, ruining Jessica's credit score in the process and causing Jessica to bleed from both sides of her nose. However, Jenny returned to Jessica's good side when she helped Evan get an A in Physical Education.[51]
One morning, Jessica walks into the kitchen with a tripod camera. She explains that she is setting it up so that she can take a photo of Eddie's face when his SAT results arrive sometime that week, and that she wanted to capture either the look of joy or the portrait of failure when she makes him go missing, and takes a photo of Eddie.
Later that day, Emery heads into the kitchen to get some ice cream where Jessica ambushes him. She asks him if he has found a job yet, and Emery responds that he couldn't since he was helping Eddie before admonishing himself for using the wrong brother's name to get out of his situation. Jessica takes the ice cream out of Emery's hands and tells him that he could only have some once he finds a job, and as Emery leaves the kitchen, Louis criticizes Jessica for her approach. Jessica retorts that Emery has gotten lazy recently and needs to learn consequences, although Louis states that he knows his son and that if they push Emery too hard, he would rush and make a bad choice, adding that Emery requires a gentle touch. Jessica disagrees with being gentle on Emery, but Louis tells her that he knows Emery and to trust him when he says that giving Emery space will lead to Emery finding a job.
Louis heads to the kitchen to eat some ice cream, telling Jessica to back off and claiming that he earned the right to eat double choco mint ice cream after convincing Emery to look for jobs at the mall without threatening him. Jessica then notifies him that there are no chocolate pieces in the cream since Eddie ate them all using Jenny's tweezers, much to Louis' disgust. Emery then walks into the house with various shopping bags, and Louis exclaims that he must have gotten his first paycheck. Emery explains that he did not get a job since Louis wanted him to find his own thing and he couldn't, and clarifies that the clothes he had purchased came from his Christmas gift cards. Jessica points out that Emery is happy being unemployed while Louis berates Emery for being a "ding-dong" and proving him wrong to Jessica. Jessica then takes Emery's shopping bags from him, telling him that he would have to get a job by tomorrow if he wanted his clothes back. As Emery walks away, Jessica turns to Louis and states that Emery is a horse and that she must ride him to success.
Louis and Jessica are sitting on the couch at home, where Louis asks Jessica if they could give each other shoulder massages, although Jessica declines as she states she prefers having tight shoulders. Just then, Emery enters through the door and announces that he has just been hired at "Abernathy & Fitz." Jessica tells Emery that he can have his clothes back as Emery thanks Jessica for the push. As Emery makes his way upstairs, Jessica tells Louis that not only did she get Emery to find a job, she also caused him to get hired by a law firm, and claims that she deserves ice cream as her reward.
The next day, Jessica drives Emery to work, and parking at the mall, tells him that she can have Eddie's room when she makes Eddie disappear as a result of his low SAT scores. She then asks him if his law firm is next to the mall, and Emery clarifies that "Abernathy & Fitz" is a clothing store. Jessica asks if it is a clothing store for lawyers, and when Emery informs her otherwise, she admits that while it isn't as prestigious, it is still a job. Emery replies that "his thing" turned out to be whatever job got him to his new wardrobe the quickest, and announcing that he needs to put his uniform in, takes off his shirt. Jessica asks him why he did so, and Emery reveals that his job is to a shirtless male greeter outside the store who entices customers, and exiting the car, tells his mother that they would apply oil on his torso. Jessica bemoans to herself that she has turned her teenage son into a stripper; worse, in her opinion, a male stripper.
Jessica returns home to find Louis leaning against the wall, seemingly holding a handful of condoms. Jessica replies that she is not in the mood for sex and asks why he has so many condoms, and Louis clarifies that it is actually Lactaid. He tells her that she was right about Emery and therefore does deserve ice cream, albeit the "kind high-schoolers get on an innocent date before they ravage each other," available at an ice cream store at the mall. In the food court, Jessica stares at the shirtless Emery, and Louis, noticing Jessica's wandering eyes, asks if there is a good-looking man behind him. Jessica responds that there is a good-looking adult man that they definitely do not know, but Louis, noting that Jessica is still staring, states that the man must be really sexy. Just then, Emery notices his parents and walks up to them, asking them what they are doing there, and Louis, now staring at Emery's torso as well, asks Jessica why he has come face-to-face with Emery's nipples.
Louis, Jessica and Emery return home, with Emery informing his parents that he has to go take a shower so he could wash the oil off of his torso. Louis asks Jessica why she chose to omit the fact that Emery was working at a half-nude clothing outlet, and Jessica responds that it was because he knew that if Emery was pushed, he would make a bad choice. Louis retorts that despite his warning, she did it anyways and now Emery was selling his body, although Jessica attempts to soften the blow by reminding Louis that he was only nude from the waist up. Jessica apologizes to Louis, admitting that she was wrong and just wanted to help Emery figure out what job to get, and Louis adds that he too was wrong, citing that Emery was a teenager now and therefore needs to learn that the real world has consequences. Jessica then states that technically they were both half-right, but since she admitted her wrongdoing first, she was first half-right, and Louis sighs as he replies "Sure."
The Huang and Patel families attend the Florida State Spelling Bee, where Louis wonders out loud if Evan would get a trophy if he wo, and Mina Patel informs him that he would just get a ribbon and a certificate that would not fit in a standard frame. Jessica criticizes the spelling bee contestants, muttering that they must think they are so smart for being able to spell, and bids them luck in the apocalypse, with DC Patel telling her that they would be the first ones eaten.[52]
Personality[]
- "My husband is a good man. He believes in the good of people. I don't."
- ―Jessica Huang
This section needs a rewrite |
Jessica is very superstitious of certain things according to Chinese culture such as the number 4 although she claims Grandma is the superstitious one as seen in "Very Superstitious". Louis describes Jessica's personality as "aggressive yet elegant" which Jessica takes as a compliment. Jessica has a tendency to overcomplicate things and get stressed out. Her son, Evan Huang, exhibited bossiness at a friend's party which made Jessica realize he got it from her. She is also seen walking up to a mother's car and yelling at her for her disobeying the rules of the road. However, Jessica does apologize although hesitantly so that Evan could continue his friendship with the mother's son.
Jessica is opposed to creative career fields such as art, painting and theater and instead praises academically vigorous fields such as law and medicine, often pressuring her sons and her sister not to follow their passions of acting or painting respectively. In "Sisters Without Subtext" it is revealed Jessica used to do painting such as avocados and zebras, but she painted like a child and blamed it on her not being good enough when really she was being lazy, as both Louis and Jessica agree her art wasn't the best.
Jessica is an obsessed fan of Stephen King but intensely dislikes any cinematic adaptations of King's novels. However, Jessica can't accurately interpret King's novels because she stated that Jack Torrance from The Shining is a hero.
Criminal Record[]
- Jessica has committed a number of crimes throughout the series and possesses a criminal record.
- Vehicular Assault: Using her minivan, she struck the three dine-and-dashers with her van on purpose. (Home Sweet Home-School)
- Fraud / Practicing without a License: Tried to pass herself off as a realtor without a proper license. Officer Bryson was called to this and when he asked for Jessica's license, Jessica fled. (License to Sell)
- Passive Electioneering: She aggressively put up signs pressuring "Vote Yes on Prop. 187" directly inside Cattleman's Ranch which was designated a voting center. As Louis explained, this is a polling violation since it unfairly pressures voters. ("Citizen Jessica")
- Rigging Raffle: She took out the winning ticket out of Louis's Thanksgiving Turkey dinner raffle for herself, and charged money from the customers at Cattleman's for the raffle. ("No Thanks-giving")
- Unlawful Eviction: She attempted to evict Jordan and Raquel out of the house for not paying their rent on time and for giving her a fake check that bounced, but because she provided Jordan and Raquel with a Bar Exam study manual, they learned that she cannot legally do so since she's the one who rented out the house to them and ordered her to simply leave or they'll arrest her. ("Rent Day")
- Destruction of Personal Property: After she rented a house to Jordan and Raquel but then they refuse to pay any rent, she tried to get the two to move out by introducing a cat to eat their chickens. ("Rent Day")
- Vandalism: Wrote on a canoe with a permanent marker to jot down Louis' number after he left. ("How to Be an American")
- Overstaying a Visa: Jessica failed to renew her Green Card in time. ("Citizen Jessica")
- Contempt of Court: Her behavior in court for jury duty was highly unacceptable, and she was very disrespectful to the Judge. (The Taming of the Dads)
- Bribery: She bribed the entire jury into making her the jury foreman with "oranges" and framed that on Harvey. ("The Taming of the Dads")
- Perjury: Lied to the court about her knowledge of the legal system. ("The Taming of the Dads")
- Stalking: She stalked Stephen King in hopes of meeting him, which made King get a restraining order against her. ("King in the North")
Religion[]
Jessica is lapsed Buddhist, as revealed in "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?". She's not fond of Christianity, knowing very little about the religion. However, she does actively celebrate Christmas in a festive, non-religious way. At first, she wasn't happy about Evan converting to it, not because he was being unfaithful to the family religion, but because this meant he was no longer present at their weekly shopping trips at Costco on Sundays. Later, she decided to meet Evan after church and learn more about the religion. She didn't seem interested in any of the unbelievable stories until she learned that the religion included "Sunday School", which peaked her interest in having Evan worship it.
Jessica remains obsessed with superstition and pays a fortune teller, Madame Xing, around $500 a month for advice on housing, as shown in "We Done Son".
In the episode "Family Business Trip", a towel boy offered Jessica some towels but she rejected them, saying that she would use the sun to dry them off, and called the sun "God's towel." This contradicts with her religion, because in Buddhism, they do not use the term "God" to describe Buddha. Although just because she said "God's towel" doesn't necessarily mean she believed in God and was perhaps being sarcastic. It can be argued, however, that becoming a Buddhist in "So Chineez" was only one of the things that she temporarily changed about her lifestyle, in order to connect more with their Chinese culture and that she abandoned that religion when she abandoned everything else. This would also explain why Eddie didn't know what Buddhism is in that episode.
However, all subsequent episodes of Season 2, where The Huang House had more screen time, many Buddhist statues were seen in the background on a shelf by the kitchen table. This would mean that they still have some small dedication to Buddhism in their lives.
In the episode "The Real Santa", it was shown that the Huang family celebrates Christmas, a holiday that Christians celebrate, and Jessica was shown to be the biggest fan of the holiday out of all of them. As mentioned before, in "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?", Jessica claims she only celebrates the holiday in a festive manner, rather than for religious purposes.
Relationships[]
Family[]
- Louis Huang - Louis is Jessica's husband. They both work hard to help make their family a success and to make their new lives in America work. The two of them get along well enough except for some problems that primarily stem from Cattleman's Ranch. There are things about the restaurant that usually cause problems and it will always put some sort of burden in the way of the things that they do but any problems that they face, are problems they face together and when it comes down to it, they can always get out of it and make some sort of agreement that works out for the best. In the episode "Love and Loopholes", it was revealed that Louis and Jessica met each other while waiting in line for the bathroom. In the episode "Shaquille O'Neal Motors", it was shown when they first got married. Jessica didn't want for Louis to actually buy a car, so he just carried her out of there.
- Eddie Huang - Jessica doesn't always approve of Eddie's love for the hip-hop culture. She sometimes fears that he's losing touch with the Chinese culture. In "Gotta Be Me", Jessica proves that she can be a fun, enthusiastic person, making Eddie give her the alias as "Fun Mom", as when they went on a field trip that celebrates pilgrim history. Eddie then gets angry over the fact that Jessica won't be "Fun Mom" unless they go on field trips. Jessica then pleads that Eddie accepts the fact she can't be "Fun Mom" all the time because she feels discipline is more important to get her sons to do their homework and to behave. Eddie accepts this, and their relationship very much improves, and they bond more by playing Mario Brothers together.
- Emery Huang and Evan Huang - Emery and Evan are extremely obedient and loyal to Jessica, unlike Eddie. Evan, in particular, is especially loyal to his mother and is said to be her favorite child. In "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?", Jessica and Evan used to go shopping at Costco every Sunday until Evan converted religions and started going to church instead. Jessica was upset about this, not because of religious differences, but because she started to miss Evan and hated going to Costco all by herself. In the end, Jessica agreed to see Evan on Sundays shortly after church and learned about the stories of Christianity.
Friends[]
- Honey - Jessica and Honey are best friends. She first became friends with her in the episode "The Shunning" when they found out that they had the same interests. However, Jessica was forced to keep her friendship a secret in this episode because she heard that Deidre and the rest of her friends didn't like her and that she would be shunned for admitting that she's good friends with her. In the same episode, she came to her senses and realized that her friendship with Honey is too strong and that Honey was feeling very terrible with being hated by everyone and so she just gave up on it and openly admitted that she was friends with her. Even though Jessica considers Honey her best friend, she still can be rude and insulting to Honey. Honey will usually shrug off Jessica's aggression such as in "Boy II Man" where. but then drew the line in "We Done Son", when she decides she's fed up with her ideas not being accepted by Jessica.
- Deidre - Deidre is an acquaintance of Jessica's but not a friend that she likes very much because of her insensitive and pretentious personality. Deidre will sometimes make some off-putting and slightly racist comments about Jessica's ethnicity that can get on Jessica's nerves sometimes.
Trivia[]
- In the episode "Hi, My Name Is...", it was revealed that her legal birth name is "Chu Tsai Hsia", which means "Beautiful Sunset Glow".
- In the episode "How to Be an American", according to Jessica's Visa application, she was born on June 12, 1962 in Taipei, Taiwan.
- In the episode "Citizen Jessica", she reveals that she is a Republican-leaning independent.
References[]
- ↑ Home Sweet Home-School
- ↑ The Shunning
- ↑ Success Perm
- ↑ Persistent Romeo
- ↑ Fajita Man
- ↑ Showdown at the Golden Saddle
- ↑ Phillip Goldstein
- ↑ License to Sell
- ↑ Blind Spot
- ↑ Very Superstitious
- ↑ Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon
- ↑ So Chineez
- ↑ Family Business Trip
- ↑ Boy II Man
- ↑ Shaquille O'Neal Motors
- ↑ The Fall Ball
- ↑ Miracle on Dead Street
- ↑ Good Morning Orlando
- ↑ The Big 1-2
- ↑ Huangsgiving
- ↑ We Done Son
- ↑ The Real Santa
- ↑ Year of the Rat
- ↑ Love and Loopholes
- ↑ Phil's Phaves
- ↑ Michael Chang Fever
- ↑ Keep 'Em Separated
- ↑ Tight Two
- ↑ Doing It Right
- ↑ Week in Review
- ↑ Jessica Place
- ↑ Hi, My Name Is...
- ↑ Rent Day
- ↑ Gotta Be Me
- ↑ The Manchurian Dinner Date
- ↑ Bring the Pain
- ↑ Coming from America
- ↑ Breaking Chains
- ↑ Louisween
- ↑ Help Unwanted?
- ↑ College
- ↑ Grandma's Boys
- ↑ S'Mothered
- ↑ Hal-Lou-Ween
- ↑ Chestnut Gardens
- ↑ Practicum?!
- ↑ TMI: Too Much Integrity
- ↑ Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire
- ↑ Jessica Town
- ↑ A Seat at the Table
- ↑ The Magic Motor Inn
- ↑ The Magic Motor Inn