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{{Infobox episode
|Title = No Thanks-giving
|image = File:No Thanks-giving.jpg
|season = 3
|episode = 5
|total = 42
|writer = [[Keith Heisler]]
|director = [[Alisa Statman]]
|production code = 3AXT05
|airdate = November 15, 2016
|previous = [[Citizen Jessica]]
|next = [[WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?]]}}
{{Quote|Why do we put ourselves through all this holiday nonsense, through all the headaches of visiting relatives, through all the squash? All for a day that we have no cultural ties to. Why do we do it? [...] It's not ''our'' tradition. We don't like it. It's a lot of hard work, and we get nothing out of it. [...] I want to capitalize on it. I want to open {{Wiki|Cattleman's Ranch}} for Thanksgiving.|[[Jessica Huang]]}}
'''"No Thanks-giving"''' is the fifth episode of the [[Season 3|third season]] of ''[[Fresh Off the Boat]]''. It first aired on November 15, 2016.

==Synopsis==
''[[Jessica]] tells the family she doesn't want to celebrate Thanksgiving because it has nothing to do with their culture, but her real motive is to get [[Louis]] to open up [[Cattleman's]] on the holiday. Meanwhile, [[Eddie]] has figured out that colleges never look at middle school grades and therefore thinks he can coast for the rest of the semester, but Jessica will have none of it.''

==Plot==
{{Rewrite}}
Jessica makes Louis work on Thanksgiving, but also do a turkey raffle which she wants to rig so that she ends up winning the raffle herself, much to Louis's chagrin.

Meanwhile, [[Eddie]] refuses to do anymore homework for the rest of the 8th grade, as he knows that colleges do not take middle school GPAs into account and only need high school GPAs. Jessica is angry about this and steals his bed to force him to do his "Family Tree" homework assignment. Eddie at first tries standing his ground and rebelling against [[Principal Hunter]] and [[Jessica]]'s ways, but he loses sleep over the loss of his bed.

In the Turkey Raffle, Jessica assigns the winning ticket to Eddie but then Eddie starts getting sleepy when the raffle drawing begins, reducing Jessica's chances of winning from 100 to 0%. As a consequence, a randomly selected customer wins the turkey, but it's alive. She demands it cooked and ready to eat, forcing Louis and Jessica to take the turkey to the kitchen but Jessica finds the turkey too aggressive to kill. Realizing the error of her ways, Jessica decides to pardon the turkey, give the raffle winner a refund and give back Eddie's bed. However, she also announces that all meals for Thanksgiving night at Cattleman's will be free, alarming Eddie since she just gave away the family's profits. Jessica claims she did so to make Eddie do his homework.

In the end, Eddie agrees to do his family tree assignment under the condition he gets to choose which family to do his family tree so that he can find some fun in doing his homework. Instead of his family, Eddie picks the N.W.A. about Dr. Dre, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, DJ Yella, DJ Pooh and Snoop Dogg. Jessica and Louis accepts this as Eddie having done his homework.

==Cast==
===Main Cast===
*[[Randall Park]] as [[Louis Huang]]
*[[Constance Wu]] as [[Jessica Huang]]
*[[Hudson Yang]] as [[Eddie Huang]]
*[[Forrest Wheeler]] as [[Emery Huang]]
*[[Ian Chen]] as [[Evan Huang]]
*[[Lucille Soong]] as [[Jenny Huang]] <small>(credited as Grandma Huang)</small>
*[[Chelsey Crisp]] as [[Honey]]
*[[Ray Wise]] as [[Marvin Ellis]]

===Recurring Cast===
*[[Paul Scheer]] as [[Mitch]]
*[[Jillian Armenante]] as [[Nancy]]
*[[David Goldman]] as [[Principal Hunter]]
*[[Brooke Baumer]] as [[Mrs. Uveda]]

===Guest Cast===
*Juan Alfonso as Barfly
*Louise Claps as Woman
*Myles Cranford as Old Teacher
*Brianna Bazler as Student <small>(uncredited)</small>
*Carissa Bazler as Student <small>(uncredited)</small>
*Isabella Bazler as Student <small>(uncredited)</small>
*Camryn Cregger as Restaurant Patron <small>(uncredited)</small>
*Avery McGeary as Schoolmate <small>(uncredited)</small>

==Trivia==
*As of this episode, [[Ray Wise]], who portrays [[Marvin Ellis]], has been added to the main cast.

==Errors/Inconsistencies==
*Jessica decides not to celebrate Thanksgiving this year, citing that it is not actually a part of their culture and therefore does not care for it. However, in the [[Season 2|previous season]]'s Thanksgiving episode "[[Huangsgiving]]", Jessica revealed that Thanksgiving was a big celebration for her family, as her mother called at 5:30 am to decide which of her daughters would host Thanksgiving; additionally, at the end of that episode, Jessica agreed to attend her sister Connie's Thanksgiving the next year in Washington, D.C.. Yet in this episode, the Huang family make no trip to D.C. nor do they even mention last year's Thanksgiving.

==Quotes==
{{Dialogue|'''Louis:''' Well, I'll start calling the staff, see who I can ask to work on Thursday.<br>'''Jessica:''' Ask? You don't ask. You tell.<br>'''Louis:''' It won't be hard to get someone. Holiday pay is time and a half.<br>'''Jessica:''' You tell them, "Happy Thanksgiving. See you on Friday at regular pay."<br>'''Louis:''' But we'll need extra help.<br>'''Jessica:''' That's why we have children. We'll do a buffet. We'll prep all the food in the morning. A couple servers is the only staff we need.}}
{{Spacer}}
{{Dialogue|'''Eddie:''' I had a vision.<br>'''Jessica:''' What do you mean? What vision?<br>'''Eddie:''' When I was asleep in bed last night, I realized eighth grade doesn't matter.<br>'''Jessica:''' Who told you this in your vision? A bum?<br>'''Eddie:''' As long as you don't fail, you get into high school, and ''that's'' when grades start to count. Colleges don't look at your middle-school report cards. I'm already getting A's in all my classes, so I can take the rest of the year off and still pass.}}
{{Spacer}}
{{Dialogue|'''Jessica:''' Who put you up to this? Your white friends? No more white friends! New rule!<br>'''Eddie:''' Okay, fine. Let's pretend that grades are important and I work hard this year and in high school and college. And then Dad dies.<br>'''Louis:''' Wait, what?<br>'''Eddie:''' And I take over the restaurant, carrying on the family business.<br>'''Louis:''' Oh. Like a legacy.<br>'''Eddie:''' No matter good grades or bad, I end up in the same spot.<br>'''Jessica:''' Who says Cattleman's is going to go to ''you''? What about [[Emery]] and [[Evan]]? The restaurant might go to ''them''.<br>'''Eddie:''' Even better. Give it to them. They can do all the work, and I'll be a silent partner.<br>'''Jessica:''' When have you ever been silent?<br>'''Louis:''' Not through ''{{Wiki|The Goonies}}''. That's for sure.}}
{{Spacer}}
{{Dialogue|'''Jessica:''' Do you know what the problem is? He's become a lazy, entitled bum. We have a bum kid!<br>'''Louis:''' Jessica, hold on.<br>'''Jessica:''' This is our reward after years of struggle and self-sacrifice, trying to provide, working on holidays!<br>'''Louis:''' Building a legacy that my boy wants to take over.<br>'''Jessica:''' No, see, that's the problem! He thinks he can just sit back and everything's going to just be handed to him, so he doesn't appreciate anything.<br>'''Louis:''' Not ''The Goonies''. That's for sure.<br>'''Jessica:''' I was so careful. I was so strict. Then a video game here, a gummy snack there.}}
{{Spacer}}
{{Dialogue|'''Emery:''' Well, we figured we better start helping Cattleman's any way we can. We overheard Mom say that we might have a chance to inherit it.<br>'''Louis:''' You guys are interested in the restaurant, too?<br>'''Evan:''' Of course... Under the right management, that thing could make some money.<br>'''Louis:''' I guess I never imagined Cattleman's Ranch could become Cattleman's Ranch and Sons.<br>'''Emery:''' We should put a cowboy on the sign lassoing his boys.<br>'''Evan:''' Cattleman's is a ranch. The sign should be a cow with his calves.<br>'''Emery:''' You mean a bull. A cow's a girl.<br>'''Evan:''' ''You're'' a girl!}}
{{Spacer}}
{{Dialogue|'''Eddie:''' I did the work. I want my bed back.<br>'''Jessica:''' Oh, you did your family tree assignment?<br>'''Eddie:''' No, a different type of work... Data collection, statistical analysis. I conducted a sociology study to prove my theory. ''[to Marvin and Honey]'' Please describe your eighth-grade experience.<br>'''Marvin:''' Well, I skipped class all the time. I had a kid who looks a lot like you do all my schoolwork for me so I could concentrate on football.<br>'''Honey:''' I missed most of my eighth grade. Was home sick with mono.<br>'''Eddie:''' And what do you do now?<br>'''Marvin:''' I'm a rich dentist.<br>'''Honey:''' I'm your mom's business partner.<br>'''Jessica:''' So what? That doesn't prove anything. It's just two people.<br>'''Eddie:''' Two people you know very well, who are very successful members of society. ''[to Marvin and Honey]'' Thank you for participating in our informal survey.}}

==Gallery==
<gallery>
Jessica Huang (3x5).png
Jessica (3x5).png
All white people want is a sense of community.png
$$$.png
Marvin Ellis (3x5).jpg
No Thanks-giving.jpg
Turkey slaughter.png
Eddie's N.W.A. Family Tree.png
Eazy-E.png
MC Ren & DJ Yella.png
N.W.A.png
Ice Cube.png
Snoop Dogg.png
</gallery>
[[Category:Episodes]]
[[Category:Season 3]]
[[Category:Holiday Episodes]]