So Chineez

"Are we Chinese enough?"
"Yes. What?"
"Marvin says sometimes he forgets we're Chinese. Maybe he's forgetting because we're forgetting. I mean, when did we start wearing shoes in the house? [...] What I don't want is for the boys to forget where they came from."
"Look, Jessica, we're doing fine. We're so Chinese."
— Jessica Huang and Louis Huang

"So Chineez" is the thirteenth and final episode of the first season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on April 21, 2015.

Synopsis[]

Jessica fears her family has assimilated so much to life in Orlando that they've lost their Chinese identity. So she drives everyone nuts making them reconnect with their culture, from Louis, who she insists decline an invite to join the country club, to Eddie, who she makes do a report on China for his World Day project.

Plot[]

This section needs a rewrite

With the recent popularity in Cattleman's Ranch and with the success of Jessica's new job as a realtor, the Huang family gets an invitation to the North Orlando Country Club. While Jessica is excited about it, Louis is worried about it being too expensive and would rather hang out at the municipal tennis court and have their tennis balls taken by a dog instead of the country club's court.

Meanwhile, at Abraham Lincoln Middle School, it is world culture's day. In which students are assigned a country, and they must do a report and show off the country to the parents. Eddie was assigned to Iceland, while all his friends traded in their original countries for the Carribean Islands. They let Eddie know he can trade in his country with Brian who has Jamaica. But they warned him it will be challenging. Eddie manages to successfully get Brian to trade him Jamaica after he decided to give him Topanga's number (after Eddie notices Brian likes Boy Meets World). But in reality, he gave him his home phone number and let Jenny do all the talking.

At Cattleman's Ranch, Jessica invited Honey and Marvin to the resturant to help persuade Louis to give the country club a chance. They explain that the club is really good, and there are several business partners that can help him with the resturant. And after Honey mentions the place is nothing but "fresh white towels and handshake deals", Louis agrees to go on a tour. However, when Jessica mentions they can be their first Asian Americans at the club. The two admit to them they didn't think about that, and claim they sometimes forget their Chinese since they look like regular Americans to them. While this didn't affect Louis, this however took a big hit towards Jessica.

Later that night, Jessica is upset over what Honey and Marvin told her and Louis about them forgetting their Chinese. Evan and Emery come into the kitchen and tried to show off their achievements to their mother. (As the two want to have it placed on the fridge). Jessica however just complimented them, and placed Emery's pop quiz and Evan's drawing into a drawer instead. This greatly upsets the two, and wonders why Jessica no longer puts their stuff anymore on the fridge. Eventually, the two decided to start a competition on who can get an item on the fridge first. Then Louis comes in asking Jessica to help him find some shorts for the tour tomorrow. That's when Jessica asks Louis if their Chinese enough. She's worried that the reason Marvin claims he forgets their Chinese because their forgetting, and doesn't want the boys to forget either. But Louis assures her that their fine, and their so Chinese. This calms down Jessica, until Evan comes in and asks her to help him speak some Mandarin. He wants to learn "Can you say that in English Grandma?" in Mandarin. She gets increasingly worried when Eddie comes in with a dreadlock wig, asking her what's for dinner while making some puns about Jamaica. And after Jessica's unintentional dinner of macaroni and cheese with bacon bits, this was the last straw for Jessica.

The next morning, the boys noticed that Jessica was wearing a traditional Cheongsam and her hair was tied up into buns. They questioned her why is she wearing that, she explains to the boys that they can't forget about their heritage and she's making some changes around the house. No more wearing shoes in the house, they will start speaking more Mandarin around the house, and she's enrolling the boys in a Chinese school in Tampa. This greatly upset the boys, but it didn't end there. Jessica forced Principal Hunter to switch Eddie to China for World Culture's day, (which he didn't do so at first because he thought it was racist to do so), gave up watching Melrose Place, and even hanging up Buddha pictures around the house.

At the country club, Marvin is giving Louis a tour around the place and takes him to the tennis courts. After hitting a few balls out of the court, he introduces Louis to some people such as Mark, who is also known as The Hoagie King. They can easily help Louis expand Cattleman's Ranch with their help. This greatly pleases Louis and he decides to join the club.

Back at home, Evan and Emery tried once again to get their stuff placed on the fridge, but the result was the same as the night before. Eddie comes home upset with Jessica forcing him to do China for his project since Jamaica is easier. But Jessica quickly argues that China has made and/or invented numerous things over the years and that's what makes the country so good. She then makes the boys some chicken feet, but this quickly disgust and freak out the boys so they quickly run away to their rooms.

Louis finally arrives back home to tell Jessica the big news, but Jessica tells him to cancel the membership as they need to embrace their culture and not be a apart of white people things. Louis is unhappy since Jessica wanted him to get excited about it, and he questions where the boys were since he notices they weren't home. Turns out their in the Chinese school, where the teacher was yelling out everything in Mandarin and even giving the boys a quiz despite it being their first day, and not having any knowledge on Mandarin. The boys struggle to understand their teacher, especially when he yells at Eddie for something.

The next day at Eddie's school, his friends were having a blast with the Carribean islands and happily singing Kokomo together. Brian brags to Eddie on how he's back with Jamaica and has Topanga's number. Eddie let's him know the truth about the number and this causes Brian to quickly run away, even though he said he knew it from the beginning. Principal Hunter arrives, and he isn't happy that Eddie didn't put any effort in his project, as the only thing he put was a bowl, soy sauce, and a picture of a panda.

That same day, Louis and Jessica went to the Orlando Galleria. This is because Louis wants to show her the potential location for Cattleman's Express. Louis claims he can get the guys at the country club to help him establish the resturant. But Jessica dismisses the idea, especially its right next to some American resturants and a fake Chinese resturant. She worries that the boys are gonna think about the fake Chinese food and not the real one. She also claims that while success is good, but they still need to keep up with their heritage. Louis ultimately decides to agree to this and cancel the membership. But later on, we find out he didn't do so and decided to play some tennis with the guys at the club.

Later that day, Jessica noticed that Louis arrived home early and that he smelled like Ice Blue Aqua Velva aftershave. She believes he was at the club, but Louis denies it. But when asked if she comes over and sniffs him, would he smell like the aftershave. He claims he wouldn't, but quickly admits the truth when she tries. But Louis noticed something, Jessica is home even though she should have been shopping for a thousand year old egg. Louis believes she might have been watching Melrose Place. She denies it, but just as Louis was about to place his hand on the TV, Jessica finally admits it. She admits all the stuff she usually does is what she truly likes, but also admits she has a hard time pretending she doesn't like it and is too weak to give it up. Louis assures her everything is fine and she doesn't need to worry. Eventually, she decided to let everything go back to their usual lifestyle. And even allowed Eddie to go back to Jamaica.

Finally, it's world culture's day and the boys are having fun in their "tropical paradise". Eddie is super relieved he's doing Jamaica again, and that it's cooler than China. But when Trent made a joke about pandas, this greatly offends Eddie since he thinks Trent was making fun of China and that he doesn't find the country amusing. He then proceeds to lecture him the same way Jessica did. His parents witness this and are impress he was listening. Even Brian and Jenny finally get to meet face to face.

Later that day, Eddie tells Jessica that he got an F since he was busy schooling Trent and never did his presentation on Jamaica. But Jessica was not upset by this since Eddie stood up for his own country and proceeds to hang up his report on the fridge. Much to the annoyance of his younger brothers, who decided to work together to get onto the fridge.

The episode draws to a close with Louis changing their Washington D.C. license plate to a Florida one that read: "SO CHINEEZ", Jessica putting a bumper sticker on the car from Evan and Emery's school as they drive off to the country club.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Recurring Cast[]

Lucille Soong as Jenny Huang (credited as Grandma Huang)
Rachel Cannon as Deidre Sanderson
Chelsey Crisp as Honey
Luna Blaise as Nicole Ellis
Prophet Bolden as Walter Stone
Evan Hannemann as Dave Selby (credited as Barefoot Dave)
Trevor Larcom as Trent Masterson
Connor Rosen as Doug (credited as Bed-Wetter Doug)
Brady Tutton as Brock
David Goldman as Principal Hunter
Eddie Huang as Narrator (voice)

Guest Cast[]

Ray Wise as Marvin Ellis
Jonathan Emerson as Ted
Armando Molina as Raul Ruiz
Isabella Revel as Italy Kid
Colleen Ryan as Amanda
Stacey Scowley as Carol-Joan
Jasen Scrivin as Switzerland Kid
Ben Wang as Chinese Teacher
Dash Williams as Brian Pew
Nicole Satou as Student
Brianna Bazler as Student (uncredited)
Isabella Bazler as Student (uncredited)
Emily Rose Herron as Student (uncredited)
Masha Malinina as School Girl (uncredited)
Carson Rapsilver as Russian Dancer (uncredited)
Jake Shaw as School Boy (uncredited)
Melody Thi as Asian Student (uncredited)
Raam Weinfeld as Greece Boy (uncredited)
Boriana Williams as Student (uncredited)
Ashley Zhang as Asian Student (uncredited)

Trivia[]

This is the last episode to feature the real Eddie Huang as Narrator; he left the show after the first season after being extremely displeased with the show, claiming that the plot of all the episodes after "Pilot" were not accurate representations of his life story.
When the Switzerland-assigned boy and girl are discussing the heated argument ("Should we be involved?" "Stay out of it, just stay out of it") about Eddie defending China when he switched to Jamaica, this is a reference to the fact that Switzerland has been neutral during wars such as World War II. After the Treaty of Paris in 1815, Switzerland has never fought a war.

Quotes[]

Eddie: You like Boy Meets World?
Brian: Love it.
Eddie: If you trade me Jamaica, I'll hook you up with Topanga's phone number.

Brian: Hey, Eddie, looks like I got Jamaica and Topanga.
Eddie: You know I just gave you my home phone number, right?

Gallery[]

Episodes

Fresh Off the Boat – Season One

Episode 1 "Pilot"	Episode 2 "Home Sweet Home-School"	Episode 3 "The Shunning"	Episode 4 "Success Perm"


Episode 5 "Persistent Romeo"	Episode 6 "Fajita Man"	Episode 7 "Showdown at the Golden Saddle"	Episode 8 "Phillip Goldstein"


Episode 9 "License to Sell"	Episode 10 "Blind Spot"	Episode 11 "Very Superstitious"	Episode 12 "Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"


Episode 13 So Chineez

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two

Episode 1 "Family Business Trip"	Episode 2 "Boy II Man"	Episode 3 "Shaquille O'Neal Motors"	Episode 4 "The Fall Ball"


Episode 5 "Miracle on Dead Street"	Episode 6 "Good Morning Orlando"	Episode 7 "The Big 1-2"	Episode 8 "Huangsgiving"


Episode 9 "We Done Son"	Episode 10 "The Real Santa"	Episode 11 "Year of the Rat"	Episode 12 "Love and Loopholes"


Episode 13 "Phil's Phaves"	Episode 14 "Michael Chang Fever"	Episode 15 "Keep 'Em Separated"	Epsiode 16 "Tight Two"


Episode 17 "Doing It Right"	Episode 18 "Week in Review"	Episode 19 "Jessica Place"	Episode 20 "Hi, My Name Is..."


Episode 21 "Rent Day"	Episode 22 "Gotta Be Me"	Episode 23 "The Manchurian Dinner Date"	Episode 24 "Bring the Pain"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three

Episode 1 "Coming from America"	Episode 2 "Breaking Chains"	Episode 3 "Louisween"	Episode 4 "Citizen Jessica"


Episode 5 "No Thanks-giving"	Episode 6 "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"	Episode 7 "The Taming of the Dads"	Episode 8 "Where are the Giggles?"


Episode 9 "How to Be an American"	Episode 10 "The Best of Orlando"	Episode 11 "Clean Slate"	Episode 12 "Sisters Without Subtext"


Episode 13 "Neighbors with Attitude"	Episode 14 "The Gloves Are Off"	Episode 15 "Living While Eddie"	Episode 16 "Gabby Goose"

	]
Episode 17 "The Flush"	Episode 18 "Time to Get Ill"	Episode 19 "Driving Miss Jenny"	Episode 20 "The Masters"


Episode 21 "Pie vs. Cake"	Episode 22 "This Is Us"	Episode 23 "This Isn't Us"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four

Episode 1 "B as in Best Friends"	Episode 2 "First Day"	Episode 3 "Kids"	Episode 4 "It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"

Episode 5 "Four Funerals and a Wedding"	Episode 6 "A League of Her Own"	Episode 7 "The Day After Thanksgiving"	Episode 8 "The Vouch"

Episode 9 "Slide Effect"	Episode 10 "Do You Hear What I Hear?"	Episode 11 "Big Baby"	Episode 12 "Liar Liar"

Episode 13 "The Car Wash"	Episode 14 "A Man to Share the Night With"	Episode 15 "We Need to Talk About Evan"	Episode 16 "Ride the Tiger"

Episode 17 "Let Me Go, Bro"	Episode 18 "Measure Twice, Cut Once"	Episode 19 "King in the North"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five

Episode 1 "Fresh Off the RV"	Episode 2 "The Hand That Sits the Cradle"	Episode 3 "Working the 'Ween"	Episode 4 "Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5 "Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"	Episode 6 "Sub Standard"	Episode 7 "Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"	Episode 8 "Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9 "Just the Two of Us"	Episode 10 "You've Got a Girlfriend"	Episode 11 "Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"	Episode 12 "Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13 "Grand-Mahjong"	Episode 14 "Cupid's Crossbow"	Episode 15 "Be a Man"	Episode 16 "Trentina"
Episode 17 "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"	Episode 18 "Rancho Contento"	Episode 19 "Vice Mommy"	Episode 20 "Nerd Watching"
Episode 21 "Under the Taipei Sun"	Episode 22 "No Apology Necessary"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six

Episode 1 "Help Unwanted?"	Episode 2 "College"	Episode 3 "Grandma's Boys"	Episode 4 "S'Mothered"
Episode 5 "Hal-Lou-Ween"	Episode 6 "Chestnut Gardens"	Episode 7 "Practicum?!"	Episode 8 "TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9 "Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"	Episode 10 "Jessica Town"	Episode 11 "A Seat at the Table"	Episode 12 "The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13 "Mommy and Me"	Episode 14 "Family Van"	Episode 15 "Commencement"