The Magic Motor Inn

"If we hadn't put in the work, the Magic Motor Inn would never have made it to AAA's list of most affordable motor lodges off the I-4 in East Orlando."
— DC Patel to Eddie Huang

"The Magic Motor Inn" is the twelfth episode of the sixth season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on January 24, 2020.

Synopsis[]

In a selfish move to avoid Jessica's wrath once SAT scores arrive, Eddie convinces Evan that coaching from former classmate and spelling bee champ Simryn is exactly what he needs to finally win the state spelling bee. However, when it backfires and Evan begins to spiral, Eddie gets some much-needed wisdom from Simryn's dad. On the other side of town, Jessica and Louis convince Emery to get a job only to be shocked by what he chooses.

Plot[]

While in the kitchen, Louis tells Emery that his shirt's pits are yellow, and Emery bemoans that he cannot keep wearing Eddie's hand-me-downs due to the holes, stains, and smells, and that he would have to update his wardrobe. Louis, who is wearing one of Eddie's old jeans, tells Emery that Jessica would not pay for that but adds him that he would be happy to add Emery to the payroll at Cattleman's, although Emery declines, citing that the food industry was more Eddie's thing.

As Eddie puts Pop-Tarts in the toaster, he mentions his upcoming spring break plans on South Padre Island, with Emery claiming that he still cannot believe their parents agreed to let him do that and Louis states that he could not believe it either, but that the ship had sailed as they had shook their hands in agreement. Eddie recalls that he had to mop, vacuum and make a bed in order to convince his parents to let him go, telling them that while making a bed wasn't that hard, he never wanted to do it again. Just then, Jessica walks in with a tripod camera. Taking a photo of Eddie, she explains that she is setting it up so that she can take a photo of Eddie's face when his SAT results arrive sometime that week, and that she wanted to capture either the look of joy or the portrait of failure when she makes him go missing.

Eddie, Emery and Evan are sitting at the table when Evan tells them to reduce their volume, notifying them that he is attempting to complete the Academic Iron Man, and that while he's won the math and science fairs, spelling is the only subject he's gotten a regular A in. As the Florida State Spelling Bee is around the corner, he tells Eddie that he needs his help: he wishes for Eddie to introduce him to his former middle school classmate Simryn Patel, who won the spelling bee three years in a row. Eddie refuses on the basis that he has bigger problems of his own, since his SAT scores coming in the mail this week and he is worried about Jessica's reaction. He reminds them of when he got his PSAT scores and Jessica made him stand a minute in the corner for every point under 1600 while the 250th episode of The Simpsons aired on television, with Eddie fearing that this would be the last year The Simpsons aired on television.

Eddie adds that he blacked out during the first half of the test and mindlessly circled in the remaining ovals, and is therefore afraid that he failed, which would result in Jessica revoking her permission to let him go to South Padre Island for spring break. As he gets up to leave, Evan tells Eddie that had he put in the work, he would not be so worried, leaving Emery to state that Evan got the worst traits of both Jessica and Louis. Eddie tells Emery that if he bombs the SATs, it would be considered worse than when Jenny used Jessica's credit card by purchasing Madonna bras, ruining Jessica's credit score in the process, and Emery recalls that Jessica was so mad she bled from both sides of her nose. Eddie wonders how Jenny returned to Jessica's good graces afterwards, and Emery informs him that they became on good terms when Jenny helped Evan get an A in Physical Education. Eddie then realizes that if helps Evan with his spelling bee problems, Jessica may forgive his SAT failure and still allow him to go to South Padre.

Emery commends Eddie's plan as being good, and as Eddie sets out to seek Evan, Emery heads into the kitchen to get some ice cream. He is ambushed by Jessica, who asks him if he has found a job yet, and Emery responds that he couldn't since he was helping Eddie before admonishing himself for using the wrong brother's name to get out of his situation. Jessica takes the ice cream out of Emery's hands and tells him that he could only have some once he finds a job, and as Emery leaves the kitchen, Louis criticizes Jessica for her approach. Jessica retorts that Emery has gotten lazy recently and needs to learn consequences, although Louis states that he knows his son and that if they push Emery too hard, he would rush and make a bad choice, adding that Emery requires a gentle touch. Jessica disagrees with being gentle on Emery, but Louis tells her that he knows Emery and to trust him when he says that giving Emery space will lead to Emery finding a job.

Eddie heads to Evan's room and tells him that he felt bad about earlier and has decided to introduce him to Simryn after all, claiming that Simryn was his close friend. When Evan asks Eddie why he would help him, Eddie lies, stating that after his SAT scores come in, Jessica would kick him to the streets and that one day eventually he would need a guest house to crash in and that Evan would be his best bet. As Evan buys it, Eddie tells him to go inform Jessica that he is helping her achieve academic greatness and he would be driving Evan to see Simryn; Evan deems the situation as being effulgent, but as he tries to describe the meaning of the word, Eddie shuts him down and walks out of his room, leaving Evan to mutter that he would save it for the car.

Louis heads to the kitchen to eat some ice cream, telling Jessica to back off and claiming that he earned the right to eat double choco mint ice cream after convincing Emery to look for jobs at the mall without threatening him. Jessica then notifies him that there are no chocolate pieces in the cream since Eddie ate them all using Jenny's tweezers, much to Louis' disgust. Emery then walks into the house with various shopping bags, and Louis exclaims that he must have gotten his first paycheck. Emery explains that he did not get a job since Louis wanted him to find his own thing and he couldn't, and clarifies that the clothes he had purchased came from his Christmas gift cards. Jessica points out that Emery is happy being unemployed while Louis berates Emery for being a "ding-dong" and proving him wrong to Jessica. Jessica then takes Emery's shopping bags from him, telling him that he would have to get a job by tomorrow if he wanted his clothes back. As Emery walks away, Jessica turns to Louis and states that Emery is a horse and that she must ride him to success.

Eddie calls Trent Masterson, whom he has enlisted to hide in the bushes opposite his house and observe the mailbox with his binoculars, as he has been tasked with intercepting Eddie's SAT scores before Jessica can get to them. Eddie tells Trent that he needs to delay Jessica receiving the scores until he can help Evan win the spelling bee and asks to make sure that Jessica cannot spot him, although Trent assures him that she could not. He then ends their conversation as he is using his sister Trish's cell phone and therefore must impersonate her when her boyfriend, Muscles, calls.

Eddie and Evan arrive at the Magic Motor Inn, with Evan wondering if Simryn lives at the motel. Eddie then spots Simryn, who is dancing while listening to Mandy Moore's "Candy". Simryn is stunned to spot Eddie, whom she recognizes from their piccolo class at Abraham Lincoln Middle School, and remarks that he has grown two feet since they last saw each other. Eddie tells her that he finds it cool that she lives at a motel and asks if the staff makes her bed for her, and Simryn explains that her family owns and operates the motels, although they don't live there themselves. Eddie then adds that at least she gets free HBO, only for Simryn to once again remind him that she does not live at the motel. Eddie then states he understands as he faces a similar situation with his father and his restaurant, where people assume he can eat steak for free every day, only for Evan to point out that Eddie does in fact eat steak for free every day.

Eddie then introduces Simryn to Evan, and tells her that he was hoping she could help him with his spelling bee. Before she can give her answer, Eddie thanks her for her assistance and tells her that she could take a couple of days to work with Evan while he would chill by the motel's pool. Simryn, however, informs Eddie that she does not have the time to teach Evan as she has work to do around the motel and must also work on perfecting the "Candy" dance for an upcoming Mandy Moore concert she plans on attending. She bids Evan good luck as she walks away, leaving Evan to berate Eddie for wasting his time and for lying that he and Simryn were close friends.

Eddie tells Evan that he thinks he can get Simryn to help them and enters the motel; Evan yells out that he needs to go home so he could 'hit the dicks' before immediately realizing that trying to shorten the word 'dictionary' to 'dicks' was a bad idea. Eddie and Evan head to the reception desk, where Simryn's parents, DC and Mina, are working. Assuming they are magazine salesmen, DC tells them that he does not want any magazines and that he would not be scammed again, only to ask if he could purchase two "Rod and Reel" subscriptions. Just then, Simryn enters and expresses her surprise that Eddie is still there. Eddie pleads with Simryn to help Evan, and Simryn reminds him that she said she is too busy to do so, although DC chimes in that those are strong words coming from a girl who takes fifteen minute showers. Simryn's mother Mina then defends her daughter, retorting that he took 45 minutes just to iron his jeans.

DC then asks Simryn how she knows the "magazine salesmen" and Simryn explains that she and Eddie were classmates. Eddie immediately mentions that he and Simryn never dated but that he finds Simryn to be very beautiful, prompting Simryn to shake her head. Evan clarifies that she is a beautiful spelling bee legends, and Eddie tells them that they need Simryn to help Evan win the spelling bee. DC responds that Simryn can indeed help, referring to as "Hamburger" as she is a helper. He then explains that it is a reference to Hamburger Helper as Simryn states that Eddie and Evan got that and that he was embarrassing her. DC then asks when he has ever been embarrassing, and his wife and daughter mention that he was embarrassing yesterday when he juggled the lettuce at the market and also whenever the Cleveland Indians come to town, where he holds up a sign at the games proclaiming that "now the real Indians are here." as he appears on the Jumbotron.

Eddie asks "Hamburger" to help then and DC chimes that she would be great as she spent weeks for the spelling bees as Simryn stammeringly agrees that she did in fact study for them; however, she informs them all that she cannot help Evan as she has chores to do around the motel, only for Eddie to intercept and offer to do the chores himself, claiming that he loves chores. DC proclaims the matter to be settled, that Simryn would help Evan while Eddie does her chores, and tells Eddie that he would be starting tomorrow and that now everybody was happy.

Louis and Jessica are sitting on the couch at home, where Louis asks Jessica if they could give each other shoulder massages, although Jessica declines as she states she prefers having tight shoulders. Just then, Emery enters through the door and announces that he has just been hired at "Abernathy & Fitz." Jessica tells Emery that he can have his clothes back as Emery thanks Jessica for the push. As Emery makes his way upstairs, Jessica tells Louis that not only did she get Emery to find a job, she also caused him to get hired by a law firm, and claims that she deserves ice cream as her reward. As Jessica leaves to go to the kitchen, Jenny asks Louis if they could give each other a massage as her Madonna bra straps are killing her shoulders, and Louis flat-out refuses.

The next day, Eddie calls Trent from the motel to ask if he's received his scores yet, and Trent responds that while he has not, Brian did, and that it was a very low score. Worried, Eddie tells Trent that he has to ensure that Evan gets all the training he can get from Simryn. As Simryn coaches Evan, Eddie works with DC, remarking that the motel's washing machine is the biggest he's ever used as DC replies that the biggest washing machine he ever used growing up was the Ganges, a river in India. DC then shows the board for the motel which states "Luke... I Am Your Motel." with DC explaining that it was from Star Wars but that they would need a new movie quote. Eddie and DC go to clean up a room, with DC telling Eddie that they would have to work fast since they only had ten minutes before the next guest checked in.

Eddie changes the quote on the board to "You know what they call a Quarter Pounder With Cheese in Paris? A Motel With Cheese." and informs DC that it was from Pulp Fiction, although DC does not get the reference. Eddie continues cleaning rooms with DC, struggling to make a bed despite his earlier assertion that he knew how to make a bed and that they were easy, and in his effort to do so, he traps himself underneath the sheets and cries out for DC to help him. They then change the movie quote to something DC would understand, and settle on "Do I make you cozy, baby?", referencing Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

Eddie uses the motel's phone to check up with Trent, who notifies him what his SAT scores are. Hanging up the phone, Eddie tells Simryn and Evan that his SAT scores have arrived, and Simryn, believing he has failed, tells him that standardized testing is racist. Eddie then tells her that they're not racist enough as he scored a 1500, much to Evan's shock. Simryn congratulates him on his score while Evan asks how that would even be possible as Eddie blacked out and mindlessly completed the test, and Eddie replies that he is a natural. Eddie tells Evan that they are done now and can go home; when Evan points out that he is not done studying only for Eddie to retort that his spelling bee no longer matters as he is safe due to high SAT score. Evan then denounces Eddie for being selfish and criticizes himself for not knowing better, telling Eddie that he never cared about actually helping him.

Jessica drives Emery to work, and parking at the mall, tells him that she can have Eddie's room when she makes Eddie disappear as a result of his low SAT scores. She then asks him if his law firm is next to the mall, and Emery clarifies that "Abernathy & Fitz" is a clothing store. Jessica asks if it is a clothing store for lawyers, and when Emery informs her otherwise, she admits that while it isn't as prestigious, it is still a job. Emery replies that "his thing" turned out to be whatever job got him to his new wardrobe the quickest, and announcing that he needs to put his uniform in, takes off his shirt. Jessica asks him why he did so, and Emery reveals that his job is to a shirtless male greeter outside the store who entices customers, and exiting the car, tells his mother that they would apply oil on his torso. Jessica bemoans to herself that she has turned her teenage son into a stripper; worse, in her opinion, a male stripper.

Back at the motel, Evan continues admonishing Eddie for his actions, and Eddie explains that his actions were due to his desire to retain his spring break plans, but tells Evan that they can stay if he has more studying to do with Simryn. Simryn chimes in that she thinks Evan has gotten it, although when Evan asks her if he's ready for the spelling bee and if he can win, she hesitantly replies that she cannot guarantee it. Evan then asks her if he at least mastered her spelling system, and she discloses that she does not actually have a system and that she never studied for the spelling bees; additionally, she had only agreed to help Evan to stay on her parents' good side so she could attend the Mandy Moore concert.

Evan asks her how she could win three times if she never studied, and Simryn divulges that she has synesthesia – she closes her eyes, sees the word in colors, and spells it correctly. Evan is upset that Eddie and Simryn are naturals who succeed without ever trying, who have their talent available to them as they wake up, while he has to put in the work and earn it. Evan then states them that it is pointless to attempt the spelling bee as some natural would just participate and cinch the victory, and storming off, tells them that he has quit.

Eddie heads outside, where Evan is lying face down on a pool chair. DC walks up to him and notices that Evan is crying, and tells Eddie not to let Evan into the pool as his tears would mess up the water's PH levels. Eddie explains to DC that Evan is upset that he received a 1500 on his SATs without trying, leaving DC to dryly remark that fitted sheets must not have been on the test. Eddie further states that he thinks Evan is jealous because he is a natural, and DC replies that he does not understand why everyone is so obsessed with being a natural. Eddie responds that it is kind of awesome at being naturally able to pass the SATs without trying, only for DC to sardonically congratulate him on being a natural at something that would not make him any money. DC advises Eddie that natural talent would only take him so far, and that hard work was the key success, citing that the Magic Motor Inn would not have made AAA's list of most affordable motor lodges in East Orlando had he not put in the work. He tells Eddie that Simryn was an example of hard work as well, claiming that she would not have won all those spelling bees had she not studied, and Eddie reveals to DC that Simryn did not actually study for them.

DC then storms into the motel and accuses Simryn of lying to them about going to the library and studying for the spelling bees. Simryn explains that she did not lie about going to the library, but instead of studying, she read magazines on microfiche. She then tells DC that there's a Vogue magazines for Amish girls but DC cuts her off, telling her she knows he is a sucker for limited circulation magazines and just wants to know why she would lie to them. Simryn reveals that she lied because she did not want her father to feel like she did not earn it since she knows he values hard work. Mina points out that everyone knows that since DC constantly tells the story of how he left his village by pulling himself up by the bootstraps he shared with 30 cousins. DC tells Simryn that he still doesn't want her lying to them, and Mina agrees with him, although DC asks Simryn to lie to them if she is really dating Eddie, referring to him as a tall dummy.

Jessica returns home to find Louis leaning against the wall, seemingly holding a handful of condoms. Jessica replies that she is not in the mood for sex and asks why he has so many condoms, and Louis clarifies that it is actually Lactaid. He tells her that she was right about Emery and therefore does deserve ice cream, albeit the "kind high-schoolers get on an innocent date before they ravage each other," available at an ice cream store at the mall. In the food court, Jessica stares at the shirtless Emery, and Louis, noticing Jessica's wandering eyes, asks if there is a good-looking man behind him. Jessica responds that there is a good-looking adult man that they definitely do not know, but Louis, noting that Jessica is still staring, states that the man must be really sexy. Just then, Emery notices his parents and walks up to them, asking them what they are doing there, and Louis, now staring at Emery's torso as well, asks Jessica why he has come face-to-face with Emery's nipples.

At the motel, Eddie sits next to Evan and apologizes if he made Evan feel like he wasn't awesome, adding hat there is no one "awesomer." He tells Evan that being a natural does not matter, and that Evan's work ethic is the greatest natural talent of all, which is what makes Evan so special. Evan asks how a work ethic would be special, and Eddie clarifies that anyone can get lucky every now and then, but Evan's focus is what will help him succeed in anything he wants. Eddie then convinces Evan to continue his endeavor to win the spelling bee and bring home the Iron Man, and Evan agrees, but stipulates that while he would allow Eddie to stay in his guest house in the future, he would evict him if he ruined the plumbing.

Louis, Jessica and Emery return home, with Emery informing his parents that he has to go take a shower so he could wash the oil off of his torso. Louis asks Jessica why she chose to omit the fact that Emery was working at a half-nude clothing outlet, and Jessica responds that it was because he knew that if Emery was pushed, he would make a bad choice. Louis retorts that despite his warning, she did it anyways and now Emery was selling his body, although Jessica attempts to soften the blow by reminding Louis that he was only nude from the waist up. Jessica apologizes to Louis, admitting that she was wrong and just wanted to help Emery figure out what job to get, and Louis adds that he too was wrong, citing that Emery was a teenager now and therefore needs to learn that the real world has consequences. Jessica then states that technically they were both half-right, but since she admitted her wrongdoing first, she was first half-right, and Louis sighs as he replies "Sure."

The Patels gather around the entrance to the motel and Eddie and Evan prepare to drive back across town. Mina presents them with a tiffin container consisting of rice, vegetables and two samosas; Eddie asks Mina if she expects to receive the tiffin box back, guaranteeing that Jessica would steal it, only for Mina to compliment Jessica as being smart. Evan invites the Patels to the spelling bee, and DC tells Evan that they would attend before going in to hug him. Simryn asks her father why he is hugging Evan, and Mina explains that he is actually frisking Evan for stolen shampoos. Deeming Evan to be clean, DC bids the Huang boys a safe trip home as Eddie returns the tiffin box to Mina, having devoured the entire meal in seconds. The Patels then wave as Eddie and Evan drive back home.

The Huangs and Patels attend the Florida State Spelling Bee, and Emery tells Eddie that he can't believe that he has yet to inform Jessica of his high SAT score. Eddie replies that he held off on it since he figured it was Evan's day, and Simryn adds that it was nice of Eddie to do so, only for Eddie to divulge he also wishes to keep the scores a secret in case things go south during spring break. As Evan spells "guetapens" correctly, Louis wonders out loud if Evan would get a trophy if he won, and Mina informs him that he would just get a ribbon and a certificate that would not fit in a standard frame. Jessica criticizes the spelling bee contestants, muttering that they must think they are so smart for being able to spell, and bids them luck in the apocalypse, with DC telling her that they would be the first ones eaten.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Randall Park as Louis Huang
Constance Wu as Jessica Huang
Hudson Yang as Eddie Huang
Forrest Wheeler as Emery Huang
Ian Chen as Evan Huang
Lucille Soong as Jenny Huang (credited as Grandma Huang)
Chelsey Crisp as Honey Ellis (absent; credit only)
Ray Wise as Marvin Ellis (absent; credit only)

Recurring Cast[]

Trevor Larcom as Trent Masterson

Guest Cast[]

Preity Zinta as Mina Patel (credited as Preity G. Zinta)
Vir Das as DC Patel
Megan Suri as Simryn Patel
Cornelius Peter as Spelling Bee Pronouncer

Trivia[]

The clothing store Emery works for, "Abernathy & Fitz," is meant to be Abercrombie & Fitch, down to the shirtless male greeters and the font of the company's name and logo.

Errors/Inconsistencies[]

Eddie recalls a memory from the recent past, where he was not allowed to watch the 250th episode of The Simpsons due to his PSAT score. However, the 250th episode, "A Tale of Two Springfields," aired on November 5, 2000; Fresh Off the Boat at this point is currently set in early 2000, meaning that the 250th episode of The Simpsons would not air for several months.

Quotes[]

Eddie: Oh, you're on the job hunt? I remember being in the hustle. But now I'm chilling. I got a job, a lady, and killer spring break plans on South Padre Island.
Emery: Still can't believe you got Mom and Dad to let you do that.
Louis: Honestly, I can't, either. But we shook on it, so the ship has sailed.
Eddie: Lawd, the chores I did to convince you guys. I vacuumed, I mopped, I even made a bed. It wasn't that hard, but I'll never do it again.

Jessica: SAT results arrive this week.
Eddie: Already?
Jessica: Yes. And I'm going to camera capture your face when you see your score. It'll either be a look of joy or a portrait of failure they'll put on the back of a milk carton when I make you go missing.

Evan: The Florida State Spelling Bee is around the corner. This is my last chance to complete the Academic Iron Man.
Eddie: When you add the word "academic" to a sporting event, it hurts me deep down in my soul.

Eddie: Mom, come on. It's the 250th episode of The Simpsons. What if it's their last year?

Evan: Well, if you put in the work like I am for the spelling bee, you wouldn't be so worried now.
Emery: [to Eddie] He really got the worst of Mom and Dad.
Eddie: I'm a dead man. This is worse than when Grandma ruined Mom's credit score by buying all those Madonna bras.
Emery: Mom got so mad, her nose bled. From both sides.
Eddie: How did Grandma come back from that?
Emery: She got on Mom's good side by helping Evan get an A in P.E.
Eddie: That's it. I bomb the SATs, but I bail out the golden child. Mom forgives me, and I save South Padre.

Jessica: You find a job?
Emery: Not yet. I was helping Eddie. Damn it, I said the wrong brother.
Jessica: Ice cream is for closers. You want some, go get a job.
Louis: I feel like that's the wrong strategy to motivate Emery. Just my two cents.
Jessica: Cheap advice is bad advice. He's gotten lazy and needs consequences. Simple.
Louis: No, I'm just saying, if we push too hard, he'll rush and make a bad choice. It's Emery. He needs a... gentle touch.
Jessica: Gentle? He's a teenager, not a butterfly wing.

Eddie: There's my little academic athlete. You're kicking that dictionary's ass like an Asian Chuck Norris.
Evan: Why didn't you just go with Bruce Lee? He's already Asian.

Louis: Hey, there, Pretty Woman, back from the mall? Someone must have gotten his first paycheck.
Emery: No. I emptied out my Christmas gift cards.
Louis: What about finding a new job?
Emery: You wanted me to find my own thing, and I didn't. The search continues.
Jessica: Oh, look, Louis. He's unemployed and happy.
Louis: Emery, you ding-dong.
Jessica: Time for consequences.
Emery: Hey! My new clothes!
Jessica: You want your party dresses back? Get a job. By tomorrow. [to Louis] He's like a horse, and I'm the tiny person riding him to success.

Eddie: It's so cool you live in this motel. Do they come in and make your beds?
Simryn: No, my family owns it. We make the beds.
Eddie: Oh. Well, at least you have free HBO.
Simryn: Again, we're not guests at our own motel.
Eddie: Oh, I get it. Like my dad and his restaurant. Everyone assumes I'm eating steaks for free every day.
Evan: You do.

Evan: Come on, Eddie. I need to get home and hit the dicks! Nope. Tried to shorten "dictionary." Did not work out.

Jenny: [to Louis] You still in for tradesies on massages? These new bra straps are killing my shoulders.

Eddie: Damn. This is the biggest washing machine I've ever used.
DC: The biggest washing machine I ever used growing up? The Ganges.

Eddie: My SAT scores came in, and it's, uh... wow.
Evan: Ooh, that's not good.
Simryn: Hey, man, it's been proven standardized testing is racist.
Eddie: Not racist enough. I got a 1500.

Jessica: I want you to know, when Eddie bombs the SAT and mysteriously vanishes, you can have his room. Mm. Your law firm is next to the mall?
Emery: Law firm? Abernathy & Fitz is a clothing store.
Jessica: For lawyers?
Emery: No.
Jessica: Oh. Well, not as prestigious, but still a job.
Eddie: Yeah. Turns out "my thing" was whatever got me to my new wardrobe the quickest. Let me just get my uniform on. [takes off his shirt] There. Ready for work.
Jessica: What is happening?
Emery: It's store policy to have shirtless male greeters. I guess it brings in customers. I get my torso oil today. Wish me luck.
Jessica: Oh, God. I've turned my teenage son into a stripper. A male one.

Evan: You're both naturals, and I'm a sucker who has to put in the work.
Eddie: Dude, you're a straight-A student. Who cares?
Evan: I care because I have to earn it. You guys just wake up and it's there.

Eddie: He's frustrated I got a 1500 on my SATs without studying.
DC: I take it fitted sheets weren't on the test.
Eddie: I think he's jealous 'cause I'm a natural.
DC: Man, I don't understand this obsession with "being a natural."
Eddie: I mean, it's kind of awesome. I crushed the SATs. Don't even remember filling in the ovals.
DC: Hmm. Congrats. You're a natural at something useless that makes no money.
Eddie: Did you switch bodies with my mom?
DC: Look around. If we hadn't put in the work, the Magic Motor Inn would never have made it to AAA's list of most affordable motor lodges off the I-4 in East Orlando.
Eddie: Did you switch bodies with my dad?
DC: The point is... natural talent only takes you so far. Key to success – Hard work.

DC: [to Simryn] Okay, fine. But we still don't want you to lie to us.
Mina: Yes. I agree with your father.
DC: Unless you're dating that tall dummy out there. In which case, please lie.

Louis: [unraveling what looks like condoms] Oh, hello, my wife.
Jessica: I'm not in the mood. And why are there so many?

Louis: [to Jessica] You deserve ice cream, but not just home ice cream. The kind high-schoolers get on an innocent date before they ravage each other.

Louis: Wandering eyes, Jessica. There a good-looking man over there?
Jessica: [looking at a shirtless Emery] Yes. A good-looking adult man we definitely don't know.
Jessica: Wow. You're really looking. He must be sexy.

Louis: Jessica, why am I at the mall looking at my son's nipples?

Eddie: You have the greatest natural talent of all... Your work ethic. That's what makes you so special.
Evan: And how is that special?
Eddie: Anyone can get lucky every now and then, but your focus will help you succeed in anything you want.

Louis: Why didn't you tell me Emery's working at a half-nude clothing outlet?
Jessica: You knew pushing Emery too hard would lead to a bad choice.
Louis: But you did it anyway, and now our son is selling his body.
Jessica: Well, just from the waist up.

Mina: Here's a tiffin for your ride home. Some rice, vegetables, and a samosa for each one of you.
Simryn: It's like a triangle hot pocket.
Eddie: Do you want this nice container back? 'Cause I guarantee my mom's gonna steal it.
Mina: Smart mom.
Evan: Hey, if you guys are available, you should come to the spelling bee.
DC: You got it. Bring it in, Evan.
Simryn: Dad, what are you doing? We don't hug.
Mina: He's frisking him for stolen shampoos.
DC: Okay. Have a safe trip, boys. [to Mina] He's clean.

Emery: I still can't believe you haven't told Mom about your 1500.
Eddie: Um, I figured it was Evan's day.
Simryn: Oh. That's so nice of you.
Eddie: Also, I'm saving it just in case things get out of hand at South Padre.

Gallery[]

Episodes

Fresh Off the Boat – Season One

Episode 1 "Pilot"	Episode 2 "Home Sweet Home-School"	Episode 3 "The Shunning"	Episode 4 "Success Perm"


Episode 5 "Persistent Romeo"	Episode 6 "Fajita Man"	Episode 7 "Showdown at the Golden Saddle"	Episode 8 "Phillip Goldstein"


Episode 9 "License to Sell"	Episode 10 "Blind Spot"	Episode 11 "Very Superstitious"	Episode 12 "Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"


Episode 13 So Chineez

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two

Episode 1 "Family Business Trip"	Episode 2 "Boy II Man"	Episode 3 "Shaquille O'Neal Motors"	Episode 4 "The Fall Ball"


Episode 5 "Miracle on Dead Street"	Episode 6 "Good Morning Orlando"	Episode 7 "The Big 1-2"	Episode 8 "Huangsgiving"


Episode 9 "We Done Son"	Episode 10 "The Real Santa"	Episode 11 "Year of the Rat"	Episode 12 "Love and Loopholes"


Episode 13 "Phil's Phaves"	Episode 14 "Michael Chang Fever"	Episode 15 "Keep 'Em Separated"	Epsiode 16 "Tight Two"


Episode 17 "Doing It Right"	Episode 18 "Week in Review"	Episode 19 "Jessica Place"	Episode 20 "Hi, My Name Is..."


Episode 21 "Rent Day"	Episode 22 "Gotta Be Me"	Episode 23 "The Manchurian Dinner Date"	Episode 24 "Bring the Pain"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three

Episode 1 "Coming from America"	Episode 2 "Breaking Chains"	Episode 3 "Louisween"	Episode 4 "Citizen Jessica"


Episode 5 "No Thanks-giving"	Episode 6 "WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"	Episode 7 "The Taming of the Dads"	Episode 8 "Where are the Giggles?"


Episode 9 "How to Be an American"	Episode 10 "The Best of Orlando"	Episode 11 "Clean Slate"	Episode 12 "Sisters Without Subtext"


Episode 13 "Neighbors with Attitude"	Episode 14 "The Gloves Are Off"	Episode 15 "Living While Eddie"	Episode 16 "Gabby Goose"

	]
Episode 17 "The Flush"	Episode 18 "Time to Get Ill"	Episode 19 "Driving Miss Jenny"	Episode 20 "The Masters"


Episode 21 "Pie vs. Cake"	Episode 22 "This Is Us"	Episode 23 "This Isn't Us"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four

Episode 1 "B as in Best Friends"	Episode 2 "First Day"	Episode 3 "Kids"	Episode 4 "It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"

Episode 5 "Four Funerals and a Wedding"	Episode 6 "A League of Her Own"	Episode 7 "The Day After Thanksgiving"	Episode 8 "The Vouch"

Episode 9 "Slide Effect"	Episode 10 "Do You Hear What I Hear?"	Episode 11 "Big Baby"	Episode 12 "Liar Liar"

Episode 13 "The Car Wash"	Episode 14 "A Man to Share the Night With"	Episode 15 "We Need to Talk About Evan"	Episode 16 "Ride the Tiger"

Episode 17 "Let Me Go, Bro"	Episode 18 "Measure Twice, Cut Once"	Episode 19 "King in the North"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five

Episode 1 "Fresh Off the RV"	Episode 2 "The Hand That Sits the Cradle"	Episode 3 "Working the 'Ween"	Episode 4 "Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5 "Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"	Episode 6 "Sub Standard"	Episode 7 "Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"	Episode 8 "Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9 "Just the Two of Us"	Episode 10 "You've Got a Girlfriend"	Episode 11 "Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"	Episode 12 "Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13 "Grand-Mahjong"	Episode 14 "Cupid's Crossbow"	Episode 15 "Be a Man"	Episode 16 "Trentina"
Episode 17 "These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"	Episode 18 "Rancho Contento"	Episode 19 "Vice Mommy"	Episode 20 "Nerd Watching"
Episode 21 "Under the Taipei Sun"	Episode 22 "No Apology Necessary"

Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six

Episode 1 "Help Unwanted?"	Episode 2 "College"	Episode 3 "Grandma's Boys"	Episode 4 "S'Mothered"
Episode 5 "Hal-Lou-Ween"	Episode 6 "Chestnut Gardens"	Episode 7 "Practicum?!"	Episode 8 "TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9 "Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"	Episode 10 "Jessica Town"	Episode 11 "A Seat at the Table"	Episode 12 "The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13 "Mommy and Me"	Episode 14 "Family Van"	Episode 15 "Commencement"