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"Line dancing is fun and everything, but the truth is, everyone treats me like I've got it all figured out, but I don't. So I'm trying out different Emerys."
Emery Huang to Louis Huang

"These Boots Are Made for Walkin'" is the seventeenth episode of the fifth season of Fresh Off the Boat. It first aired on March 8, 2019.

Synopsis[]

Eddie, angry after his mom tells him he's too immature to go on a student exchange trip to Taiwan, takes Jessica at her word when she says "my house, my rules" and leaves home. But when he ends up living with Horace in his new apartment, he has second thoughts.

Plot[]

To be added

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Cast[]

Trivia[]

  • Eddie's supervisor for the Taiwan Cultural Exchange Program is listed as David Smithyman on the Parental Authorization Form. David Smithyman is a writer on the show who wrote this episode, and also starred as Oscar Chow's boyfriend Michael in "Huangsgiving".

Quotes[]

Jessica: I need a new name for Instant Messenger. Jessica Huang was taken, so I have Jessica-Computer-Name, Chinese-Barbara-Bush, or Deidres-A-Poop-6.
Eddie: Ooh, tough call. They're all great. Anyway, Mother, I was thinking, and you're right... How we both need a little space. In the words of Louis Armstrong, "And I think to myself... w-what a dope-ass world." I owe it to myself to get out there.
Jessica: Uh-huh.
Eddie: Which is why I would like your permission to go on the Cultural Exchange trip to Taiwan. What are we laughing about?
Jessica: You! Going on a Cultural Exchange!
Eddie: Wh-What's so funny about that?
Jessica: You can't survive on your own. I do everything for you. I wake you up for school, I cook for you, I do your laundry...
Eddie: Hey, I did the laundry this time.
Jessica: Only because I hounded you until you did it. You're like a little baby bird who sits in front of the computer all day and would die if his beautiful mother bird stopped regurgitating worms into his mouth. So I'm sorry, but the answer is no.
Eddie: Every time I think we've gone and turned a corner, you go right back to treating me like I'm a baby! I'm 16 years old. I can look after myself! I'm going on that trip.
Jessica: Well, I'll call the program and tell them not to accept you. As long as you live under my roof, you go by my rules.
Eddie: Fine. Then maybe it's time I didn't live under your roof.
Jessica: Fine! You know where the door is.
Louis: So, uh, Emery, excited about volleyball practice? You know, I was reading that volleyball is the number-one sport amongst nudists.
Emery: What's a nudist?
Louis: Uh, doesn't matter.
Louis: See? I was right. Emery is fine. He's just a good, old-fashioned, cowboy-boot-wearing, volleyball-playing, nudist-ignorant kid.
Evan: Uh-huh. So, have you ever actually seen him play, or...?
Jessica: You need to stop hanging your bras on the clothesline outside. A bird made a nest in one of the cups.
Eddie: Well, this is it. I'm really doing it. I'm really running away.
Jessica: Okay.
Jenny: You're letting him leave?
Jessica: Please. He's gonna get hungry and be back in here in 10 minutes.
Jenny: Then who is that picking him up?
Jessica: Horace?
Jenny: Oh, here comes Selleck's groin.
Louis: And the coach said you're having a special extra practice so you can watch Top Gun as a team?
Emery: Just the volleyball scenes.
Louis: Oh. Have a good practice, Emery.
Emery: Thanks.
Louis: If that is your real name. And now the stakeout begins.
Evan: I brought a bag of disguises. Are you okay playing a woman?
Louis: That's the bar from the matchbook. Is he really going in there?
Emery: He quit volleyball so he could underage drink. What a waste. What do you say you dress up as Mrs. Palindrome and we get our pictures taken at the mall?
Louis: Wait in the car and lock the doors.
Evan: Where are you going, Melinda?
Louis: To rescue my son!
Evan: Our son! Our son, Melinda!
Emery: Dad? What are you doing here?
Louis: What are you doing here? In a bar? And why did you quit volleyball?
Emery: Because I hate volleyball.
Louis: But you said you loved it.
Emery: I did at the beginning. And then I didn't. But by the time I figured that out, you'd already gone and made it "our thing". All of a sudden, you were Mr. Volleyball.
Emery: No, I wasn't.
Louis: You drove me to Tampa so I could get my volleyball signed by former Olympic bronze medalist Yoko Zetterlund. Like I even know who that is!
Louis: You said that was one of the top five moments of your life.
Emery: Well, I lied!
Louis: Sorry if I made a big deal out of you playing volleyball.
Emery: I'm sorry I lied about it. I know you love it.
Louis: Well...
Emery: You don't love it?
Louis: I was pretending to love it 'cause I thought you loved it. I was trying to connect with you.
Emery: So you don't know who Yoko Zetterlund is, either.
Louis: Nobody does, son. You didn't have to hide this from me. If you want to be a professional line dancer, your mom and I will support you.
Emery: Relax, Dad. I don't.
Louis: Oh, thank God. Your mother would've murdered us both.
Emery: I love that you're trying to connect with me, but it adds a lot of pressure. I just need some space sometimes.
Louis: I get it. And I'll be here when you need me.
Jessica: I was scared I'd pushed you away. But after talking to Horace, I realized I hadn't. I pushed you out.
Eddie: Ew. Gross, Mom.
Jessica: Ew, not like that! Pushed you out of the nest. Which is my job as your mom. And as usual, I was too good at it, and now you're ready early. So you're welcome.
Eddie: Thank you. Wait, for what?
Jessica: Well, you could've had Horace's mom – A nice mom who gives you hugs and lets you eat ice cream for dinner. But instead, you got me, and because of that, you know how to take care of yourself.

Gallery[]

Episodes
Fresh Off the Boat – Season One
Pilot Home Sweet Home-School The Shunning Success Perm
Episode 1
"Pilot"
Episode 2
"Home Sweet Home-School"
Episode 3
"The Shunning"
Episode 4
"Success Perm"
Persistent Romeo Fajita Man Showdown at the Golden Corrall Phillip Goldstein
Episode 5
"Persistent Romeo"
Episode 6
"Fajita Man"
Episode 7
"Showdown at the Golden Saddle"
Episode 8
"Phillip Goldstein"
License to Sell Blind Spot Very Superstitious DTBPD1
Episode 9
"License to Sell"
Episode 10
"Blind Spot"
Episode 11
"Very Superstitious"
Episode 12
"Dribbling Tiger, Bounce Pass Dragon"
So Chineez
Episode 13
So Chineez
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Two
Family Business Trip Boy 2 Man Shaquille O Neal Motors The Fall ball Dance
Episode 1
"Family Business Trip"
Episode 2
"Boy II Man"
Episode 3
"Shaquille O'Neal Motors"
Episode 4
"The Fall Ball"
Miracle on dead stret Fresh-off-the-boat The Big 1-2 Huangsgiving
Episode 5
"Miracle on Dead Street"
Episode 6
"Good Morning Orlando"
Episode 7
"The Big 1-2"
Episode 8
"Huangsgiving"
We Done Son The Real Samta YOTR Image
Episode 9
"We Done Son"
Episode 10
"The Real Santa"
Episode 11
"Year of the Rat"
Episode 12
"Love and Loopholes"
Phil's Phaves MCF Keep 'Em Separated Tight Two
Episode 13
"Phil's Phaves"
Episode 14
"Michael Chang Fever"
Episode 15
"Keep 'Em Separated"
Epsiode 16
"Tight Two"
Doing it Right Week in Review Jessica Place My Name is
Episode 17
"Doing It Right"
Episode 18
"Week in Review"
Episode 19
"Jessica Place"
Episode 20
"Hi, My Name Is..."
Rent Day Gotta Be Me The Manchurian Dinner Date Bring the Pain
Episode 21
"Rent Day"
Episode 22
"Gotta Be Me"
Episode 23
"The Manchurian Dinner Date"
Episode 24
"Bring the Pain"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Three
FOTB GOes to Taiwan Breaking Chains Lance Ito, Indiana Jones & Pete Vampras Precinct 42
Episode 1
"Coming from America"
Episode 2
"Breaking Chains"
Episode 3
"Louisween"
Episode 4
"Citizen Jessica"
Turkey slaughter Praying Evan Smaller Taming of the Dads Evan (Kevin McCallister)
Episode 5
"No Thanks-giving"
Episode 6
"WWJD: What Would Jessica Do?"
Episode 7
"The Taming of the Dads"
Episode 8
"Where are the Giggles?"
How to Be an American Louis on TV Chinese Lunar New Year Dinner (Clean Slate) Connie & Jessica (3x12)
Episode 9
"How to Be an American"
Episode 10
"The Best of Orlando"
Episode 11
"Clean Slate"
Episode 12
"Sisters Without Subtext"
Alison & Eddie (3x13) Evan & Honey Eddie & Evan (3x15) Marvin & Honey (3x16)
Episode 13
"Neighbors with Attitude"
Episode 14
"The Gloves Are Off"
Episode 15
"Living While Eddie"
Episode 16
"Gabby Goose"
The Flush Jessica & Honey (3x18)] Jenny (3x19) Evan sucks at golfing
Episode 17
"The Flush"
Episode 18
"Time to Get Ill"
Episode 19
"Driving Miss Jenny"
Episode 20
"The Masters"
Brother, Brother Michael Bolton & Louis Huang New House (3x23)
Episode 21
"Pie vs. Cake"
Episode 22
"This Is Us"
Episode 23
"This Isn't Us"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Four
Episode 1
"B as in Best Friends"
Episode 2
"First Day"
Episode 3
"Kids"
Episode 4
"It's a Plastic Pumpkin, Louis Huang"
Episode 5
"Four Funerals and a Wedding"
Episode 6
"A League of Her Own"
Episode 7
"The Day After Thanksgiving"
Episode 8
"The Vouch"
Episode 9
"Slide Effect"
Episode 10
"Do You Hear What I Hear?"
Episode 11
"Big Baby"
Episode 12
"Liar Liar"
Episode 13
"The Car Wash"
Episode 14
"A Man to Share the Night With"
Episode 15
"We Need to Talk About Evan"
Episode 16
"Ride the Tiger"
Episode 17
"Let Me Go, Bro"
Episode 18
"Measure Twice, Cut Once"
Episode 19
"King in the North"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Five
Episode 1
"Fresh Off the RV"
Episode 2
"The Hand That Sits the Cradle"
Episode 3
"Working the 'Ween"
Episode 4
"Driver's Eddie"
Episode 5
"Mo' Chinese Mo' Problems"
Episode 6
"Sub Standard"
Episode 7
"Where Have All the Cattlemen Gone?"
Episode 8
"Cousin Eddie"
Episode 9
"Just the Two of Us"
Episode 10
"You've Got a Girlfriend"
Episode 11
"Driver's Eddie 2: Orlando Drift"
Episode 12
"Legends of the Fortieth"
Episode 13
"Grand-Mahjong"
Episode 14
"Cupid's Crossbow"
Episode 15
"Be a Man"
Episode 16
"Trentina"
Episode 17
"These Boots Are Made for Walkin'"
Episode 18
"Rancho Contento"
Episode 19
"Vice Mommy"
Episode 20
"Nerd Watching"
Episode 21
"Under the Taipei Sun"
Episode 22
"No Apology Necessary"
Fresh Off the Boat – Season Six
Episode 1
"Help Unwanted?"
Episode 2
"College"
Episode 3
"Grandma's Boys"
Episode 4
"S'Mothered"
Episode 5
"Hal-Lou-Ween"
Episode 6
"Chestnut Gardens"
Episode 7
"Practicum?!"
Episode 8
"TMI: Too Much Integrity"
Episode 9
"Lou Wants to Be a Millionaire"
Episode 10
"Jessica Town"
Episode 11
"A Seat at the Table"
Episode 12
"The Magic Motor Inn"
Episode 13
"Mommy and Me"
Episode 14
"Family Van"
Episode 15
"Commencement"
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